What do you look like?

Then it's the end of the road. No biggy.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:why do people think age 20ish is so young?

I am an adult and have been for many many years.

Because you haven't had your hopes and dreams crushed by your sadistic, loveless, and miserable 30 something peers.

These are the same people who believe enslaving others with menial tasks and jobs are what grant them freedom, joy and pleasure in life.

Okay Okay... So I'm wrong a little... because you have vibrancy and energy, which those who have had all their delusions about what truly is a good life, stolen from them at every twist and turn.

Ageism is like the only Ism, which popular media and political, outlets do little about... it's matter of fact way of life...

Respect your elders, put them into a nursing home...



Hey look on the bright side Crystal, you are getting old really fast with your plastic surgery concerns...

Nope, because I don't even think about it usually. Just sometimes.

i Always laugh when i look in the mirror
i look like a prityboy
babyface and damn sexy hair
warm and sexy
while in am cold and sadistic
i think it's gods sens of irony
the fella got a sens of humor

I'm still crying over the Easter bunny...

Cruel sick sadistic mutherfukers...

Nope, because I don't even think about it usually. Just sometimes.

Sure Sure...

Whenever someone tells me to grow up, I am quick to point out what a miserable fuk they are...

crystal_richardson_ wrote:why do people think age 20ish is so young?

I am an adult and have been for many many years.

Because everyone who's gone through the period of life can look back and see that they were mostly clueless and were certainly not an "adult" (whatever that is)... you know, despite drinking, the military, and such.

I am not clueless though.

I know what I want and nothing else will do.

This isn't some 'phase'. I've wanted physical perfection for as long as I can remember.

When I was so small I would show off my legs, my chest...I brought people into the bathroom to show them.

I would lie about having sustained injuries to show them and coerce their attention and concern.

And as I grew older I adapted and this is how I am adapting to get the responses I want in my 20s and on.

I don't want to have to keep on using dirty tricks to compensate.

I want the real thing, and to be complete.

I don't want attractive features. I HATE when people compliment my features because then it's like they are saying the rest of me is ugly.

I can't stand that. I need to be completely, and uniformly beautiful.

Yeah, I can't say I am ugly, because I seem to have attracted a good number of people in my life.

I never tried to make myself fit a mold which is considered beautiful, in fact I normally tried to make myself repulsive. Nothing major, but yeah, like big boots, or crazy hair, side cuts, military jackets, dark clothing, wearing hats that covered my face nearly entirely, and so on. I never bought brand names, or very rarely did.

If I ever wanted to make connections, then I'd do that naturally, rather than attempt to manipulate them.

In fact, I normally see through manipulations, and those people are like fortresses. You cannot get through to them easily, so yeah, I've learned I might be naturally sadistic and manipulative, a talent if you will, which I am unaware of, or have become more aware of. So... trying to understand the level of intentional manipulation, natural manipulations, and so on, is a challenge in it's own right.

Make sense? Delusional people, easy to get through to... people who are very aware of the world, how they go about manipulating it, that sort of stuff, more difficult... way more valuable and a beautiful which isn't directly connected to an innocence, but yeah, because I have natural sadistic tendencies, they can see me coming from a mile away, so my main objectives in life are to better decipher peoples messages, and do what I can to cause the least amount damage into a system.


I believe this awareness, has taken any sense of guilt, and redirected itself inwards, as personal hatred towards myself. Or that's at least one period which I can remember. Sort of stays with me, nothing debilitating, and so on...

yes

I think you have an attractive personality MrO.

Do I have an attractive personality Crystal?