I can't be bothered to see yet *another* psychiatrist

Hey, all.

Some of you may know me from my previous thread here. If you haven't yet read it, I hope you could take a few moments to do so, because this thread isn't very relevant without knowing my background.

As mentioned in that thread, I've been at 4 medical specialists by now, and none have been able to help me out. While I realize that psychological problems are not something you can solve in a few days, I believe the problem sits deeper than that. Basically, I believe there are a few separate problems:

- I can't visit a specialist without recognizing the money-aspect. I'm a college student, and each time I went to a psychologist/psychiatrist I can't help but notice that they're only doing it to get me to pay them. Maybe the specialists you people have been to are doing it mostly because they genuinely want to help people, but I simply don't trust the people I've been to.
- They're not even helping. I'm dealing with a dozen personality disorders, for (...) sake. When I ask them how they're going to help me, the answer should NOT be that they're simply going to listen to what's bothering me, because if that's all I wanted, I'd go talk to random strangers in the streets. It'd be cheaper, too.
- I don't know if I really *want* to be helped. This is confusing, because of course I want to be happy, and of course I don't like having a personality that constantly changes. The thing is, I really don't know *me* other than as those personalities. Basically, even IF it turns out psychologists can somehow help me out, it'd be like asking them to exterminate everything I know about myself. I don't know anything about myself other than through these fictional personalities, so while there *may* be something lying underneath it, I have no clue what it is. (I do have a few guesses, but how can I know those aren't simply other personalities I've made up?)

So, well, yeah. I don't really know whether I'm asking anything here. Maybe "should I go see another psychologist?" although I'm pretty sure I won't go to one anyway. Maybe I'm asking whether I should just accept that I'll have a bunch of confused personalities for the rest of my life. I don't know. Mostly, I guess this was just a rant.