Poison the Guinea Pigs

First of all I am not against counseling and trying to get a handle on debilitating mental issues that can cause problems in family and society as well as your personal life. I do have a huge problem with medications.
I was on anti-hyper meds as a kid and they didn't really work all that well. I also have known a few people with various mental health issues that were on long term meds, mostly antidepressants, tranquilizers and antipsychotics. After years these people were fed up and wanted off the meds and went through horrible withdrawals. Others lost abilities and some functional abilities, like going slower at work or getting confused. I've seen people on multi meds (3 or more meds for the same problem) who still obviously thought and acted bipolar, delusional, and schizo.
I have read tons of literature that says mental health issues are an ongoing thing and medication often has to be experimented with until the "professionals" can reach a conclusion what works best.
I also know drug companies put the deadly poison acetaminophen in a lot of painkillers, and part of the reason is to curb abuse of painkillers, especially narcotics. People die from this - either from overdose, or taking this poison for so long it kills their liver.
I was in a hospital only once back when I was a teenager and saw a couple people on Thorazine. they were zombies. They shuffled back and forth, drooling, had glazed eyes, and talked very slowly, if they even talked at all. They let their drool accumulate on their shirt and seemed not to notice or didn't care. To be honest, witnessing that scared the crap out of me. I was not given anything but Lithium and some sort of antidepressant. It was Elavil. I called it "El Evil."
I knew someone who was on something called "Zoplax "or "crashmax" which was just a made up name for something called "Phizer" which was called "Sinequan" that I eventually found out was really Doxepin: a psychotropic antidepressant. Some people took this, raiding the medicine cabinet and an hour later went out and broke windows for no reason at all.
I stick with natural herbs and healthy diet for my condition which includes all symptoms of Bipolar except for suicide thoughts, and some symptoms of schizophrenia.
I am willing to talk to counselors, but am adamant about meds. Also, the counselor must be someone I feel comfortable with and who is not dry, clinical, or talks down to me. If they are that way i will simply stop seeing them, or I will not open up to them.
I also have a problem with being a ping pong ball. In my experience I have been bounced around from clinic to clinic and each time that means you have to tell a new person and allow the clinic access to your previous mental health records. I have gone decades without counseling because of this. But I also know it is good to talk about it, and at times I feel some of the counselors need help too, and I did actually help one who was having relationship problems and many of our sessions focused on her, not me. (Don't tell her boss!)
I know from experience that even if someone is bound by confidentiality laws, it is only words on paper and nothing really prevents them from telling someone. That is because I have known a couple people who were in professions with confidentiality clauses, but they told me things they should not have. I kept it secret between me and them and have never nor will ever tell specific details about any of their clients I became privy to.
But that makes me wonder how many psychologists or doctors go home and tell their wife or husband about the "interesting" client they had today? Also, how many professionals take home files on clients so they can go over them at home? This is purely innocent, but if the file is left on the desk or the headboard of the bed for evaluation, and the doctor takes a shower, what is to prevent curious husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, or child from looking at the file? I am guilty! I have admitted I did look a couple times, but I never revealed any of the info in the file to anyone.
This has led me to ask pointed questions to counselors a few times in the past asking if they did this, and telling them it was wrong, and to please never take my file home.
These are some reasons I have been paranoid about counselors and meds sometimes. I think I have legitimate concerns.
I know some people go to extremes and think all psychologists work for the CIA, that medical files are sent to the government, the new world order (NWO) invented psychology to gather info on people, or the devil invented psychology to take away power from God, and the devil uses psychologists to get people out of church and put them on drugs! I don't believe that.
i do however feel that mental health issues are so hard to diagnose and deal with that we have become caught up in a form of passive experimentation, especially with medications.
With counselors (psychologists, psychiatrists, etc) I will share some of this with them. If they start to look like they are thinking I am paranoid and have serious problems, and try telling me its all in my head, I start closing up and backing away. But I found there are a few rare counselors who understand, and might even say i gave them food for thought, or explain why it happens this way, and be willing to work with me through everything. These are the kind of counselors I feel comfortable with.

Well, are far as medications go, I have had a bad experience with this one psychiatrist who would keep me in the waiting room for over an hour, talk to me for 10 minutes, and try to get me to take antidepressants that didn't have a generic form because she had some kind of alliance with a pharmeceutical company (I am convinced of this!!).

As far as counseling goes, there are A LOT of bad therapists out there. I also went to a therapist who just kept telling me that I was doing a good job and I'd be okay. I didn't get any direction or help even though I needed it. I left counseling and wound up with a new therapist a few years later. I have been going to him for 2 years and he challenges my thinking and is very eclectic in his practice; its a good match.

The mental health field is kinda weird; I think its important, but it has a lot of problems. Probably because the human mind is one of the "last frontiers", and enlightenment/consciousness is viewed in unique ways by every individual on the planet. It makes everything kinda difficult and confusing, but its also very beautiful. I think a good therapist sees it as a kind of art form.

Just my thoughts