the mental health systems crap and your selfish

SO i went to the hospital for drinking peroxide imagine how much of a fool i felt for not realizing peroxide doesnt kill you my cousin told me this laughing all the way anyway during the emergency visit which i walked to myself since we live right across the street the security gaurds where very cruel. There was a lady there talking to herself obviously not all there and the security gaurd told her when she got out of bed im going to beat you down if you get out of bed and there were more mean comments your dirty your ugly thats why nobody wants you i could hear all this from my other room and well at one point i became psychotic and began kicking the walls at first the security guard said if the nurses didnt care me doing it why should they so i continued kicking the wall till i got restraint. Now my mom had told the people in the er several times before im not to be given haldol because it causes something in me called tartika diskeniysa its like twitches and im pretty sure i didnt spell that right. Anyway they gave it to me anyway. I was not checked except once the nurse a white nurse said ill let you out in a couple hours. As i was in restraints my toes began to curl inward very painfully. i tried to bare the pain but it was to much. I had already been in restraints a long time i asked the security gaurd to get the nurse cause when i tried pressing the nurse call button it didnt work . He said wait for the nurse. Ten minutes pass by im in so much pain i ask again can you please get the nurse after a lot of begging he gets up ask me whats wrong and i told him i was in a lot of pain he said thats from kicking the wall. I knew that wasnt true but i wasnt in a position to disagree so i said yes but im still in a lot of pain so he gets the nurse she lets me out of restraints mind you its a diffrent nurse. She lets me out but my pains still there in my back and in my toes she asked whats wrong i told her i was in pain she asked me what it feels like i said shaky so she comes back with benadryl and my mom arrives she tries everything trying diffrent positions to lay in trying to walk but nothing helps and the security gaurd is like its because she kicked the wall that prick. Excuse my language. But my mom expalained i was having an alergic reaction. They bout me some food and tried something called cogentin. The lady next to us was hungry but they said she couldnt have any food and my mom ledt for a second they said if you get back up to the lady were going to tape your mouth shut. MEanwhile the medicine wasnt kicking in so my mom talked to the nurse who said shed ask the doctor what else they could give me cause i was in pain. FInally they gave me a high dose of ativan that helped a lot even though i fell asleep but when i woke up felt much better talked to the couselor got to go home its been almost two days i bought myself some asprin intent on taking the whole bottle but load and behold the good great god almighty caused my aunt to have a hear attack. What the hell does he think that im going to suddenly never be suicidal again because he made someone else almost die or possibly dying. I dont even know this aunty ironically the last itme i saw her was at a funeral. If anything god if your listening you sent the wrong message cause this just makes me want to kill myself even more and you can say im selfish or whatever for thinking this way but people are selfish to for having me endure this hell by bringing me back everytime i want to leave

why do you want to leave?

Passion, why have you written this here? Are you looking for someone to HEAR you? If so, I am here. I have been where you are, and there are other ways to see life. There are plenty of new perspectives and ways of thinking. Why not give yourself permission to explore new mays of thinking? The old way, the way you are using right now isnt very productive for you is it?
So let go of it Passion. Swallow a bit of pride and try a new way. A healthier way of thinking. I had too. It took work but it was a heck of a lot better than sitting int he mud I had been for so long. Talk to us, OK? Plenty of people will offer you support here....
With Hope,
One

passionfruit3,

I hope that you are feeling better. I just noticed this post that you made.

It sounds like those people in the hospital weren't very professional (especially the guard). What happened to the lady that was in there with you? Your cousin sounds like he needs to find some empathy too. You seem like a nice person who cares about other people who are suffering.

I hope that you don't take that aspirin. Is there anything you want to talk about right now? There are lots of people on this forum who have been through all kinds of things and are compassionate if you want to talk.

Nowheregirl

I wanted too say. When im really messed up and suicidal I can't remember how good things can be, and become conviced I dont want to live because everything is so medioca... But actually, when you get better and things are clearer. Everything feels so much better than you remember.. Life is worth living... You don' no whats round the corner things can suddenly change..
Do you remember a time when things were good? What was good then? How did it feel?
You can have that back!

I say all of this knowing that when ive been suicidal I wont really let myself hear advice or raationality, I hope you let some of it through though.


X

Hey, i didn't know there was an Anti Psych Forum on this site. Excellent.

So we can say 'Szasz' here and get away with it.

Let's face it folks, Psychiatry does not have a good track record. What with attempting to cure homosexuality, hysteria in women (only happens in women - funny that) , the wonders of ECT and the miracle of the lobotomy , it's just surprising that Psychiatry itself isn't considered a mental disorder, and psychiatrists sectioned as suitable cases for treatment.

With psychopharmalogicals, arguably, causing more long and short problems than they actually solve, could the whole of psychiatry be said to be a bad case of the blind preaching to the deaf?

As the saying goes: It's not the mad you have to worry about, it's the one's who think they aren't.

MacBuddhaBurger wrote: Psychiatry does not have a good track record. What with attempting to cure homosexuality[...]

And don't forget, runaway slaves... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drapetomania

In-Some-Niak wrote:MacBuddhaBurger wrote: Psychiatry does not have a good track record. What with attempting to cure homosexuality[...] And don't forget, runaway slaves... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drapetomania

Drapetomania. Nice one In-Some-Niak. Thanks for the link.

Mac B