Whats wrong with me..:(

onebravegirl wrote:Therapy Hun. Thats your way out. Be pissed and use it to motivate you to find a Professional Therapist. Your depression is a cue that your hurting. Tend to the pain and the issues hurt so much less. Nothing worth lasting for life will be easily attained. It takes work, but look at it as a gift you give yourself.
Wishing you the very very best,
One

Oh One,
You are such a nice person to take your time to write...

Yeah, i hear they mention therapy.. But, im kind of stuck in between when it comes to that.. (if that makes sense..)
Continue to be unhappy, but then again be able to rejoin the military..
Or to get it on the paper that im a sick person, but then again get happy (if im that lucky, wich i highly doubt) and not being able to go back to the military.. Thats one of reasons i to this day hesitate to seek help.. And with the
attitude; ''Help wont make me any prettier anyways'', that doesnt really make it any better either..
I am so lost...
Everytime i get in a good mood and look brighter on life for a couple of days, the downfall again is so hard..
I envy so much, the girls that seems so happy in their own skin.. That looks so pretty.. And that can have a normal and inteligent conversation.. i cant even have an interesting/inteligent dialog with someone that can compensate for my bad looks.. Cause im to dumb to know what to say.. i am nothing! I used to be very smart and fun, but now i seem to have forgotten it all, cause i constantly think about how hideous i look..
And to be brutally honest, i cannot see how a life like this is worth living...

Even a soldier gets tired. You sound like you have some battle fatigue and need some help to be well again. You deserve peace. Depression won't just go away with out help. Even a talk to your family doc might be a help to start will. You have got to learn to give yourself permission to take proper care of your emotional health. I hope you feel better today, keep posting too OK?
I'm here, speak your heart if you like....
With care,
One

I very much appreciate you trying to help me, people..
But now, with yet another heavy depression period, i have decided that i cannot continue like this anymore. I have realized that i dont have a life. And i will never have a life, being as miserable as i am. I just wish i were like those other girls.. Oh how i wish.
But the pain will be over now.. At last..=)
So again thanks for your time everyone...
This is the last time you will be hearing from me, so please close the thread.
Thank you.

Bless you all

Sandra, if you can feel better for even a little while (you have felt more positive, at times), doesn't that show you that you can get better? It won't always be this bad. Remember what you wrote last month?

SandeeBlaze wrote:And waking up that morning, and feeling that great (God knows why), made me think.. What the heck were i thinking when i allmost ended this amazing life..? FOR LOOKS?!?! oh my.. And this was because of some simple words from a buddy of mine;
''Sandra... Have you given this a thought; that YOU are the only one that thinks you are ugly...? From that certain side of the face of yours? '' I dont know how to explain, but he made me look at it from a different perspective. If that makes sense.. And honestly i've never even thought about that. I never in a million years thought i'd ever say this, but i am happy with how i look.

But honestly, being unhappy with the way you look, really isnt worth committing suicide for.. you can ALLWAYS fix it, if it really bothers you that much, either its mentally or physically.

Please find a therapist. You can work on this depression. I know you don't want to mess anything up with the army, but isn't therapy worth a try? You're going to miss all of the good things that will happen in your future, if you give up You can have a life. I know it feels like this will just go on forever, but depression is treatable. You can get therapy for the BDD. Please try.

SandeeBlaze wrote:But the pain will be over now.. At last..=)
So again thanks for your time everyone...
This is the last time you will be hearing from me, so please close the thread.
Thank you.

Bless you all

I'm sorry, I'm a little slow today, but I wish you could elaborate on the context of what you wrote. What are you planning on doing to help yourself to ensure, as you suggest, it won't be as painful anymore? Are you referring to just not letting it eat at you or recieving help for it. As someone who appears to be suffering of similar issues as you [BDD for me, I'm not going to try to diagnose you, but it seems you are least have a distorted perception with an overly critical outlook], I would highly recommend that if your answer be the latter. Therapy, social groups, family get-togethers, etc. will all improve your self esteem and get you on the right path. And hopefully a psychiatrist can get meds and a treatment plan established. Hang in there, all of this will get better, you just have to put a little time and effort into it.

Good luck,
Michael

Things are okay. We'll be relating to the user in private. Thank you canolime.

Kevin