is this a psychosis ?

Hello all.

I had a very unfortunate experience 3 years ago, which I believe may have been a psychosis.

Here is a very short story of what happened and what my head thought about it. Please, analyze how my head worked and tell me if it was indeed a psychosis.

I was a regular weed user back then (been clean for a long time now and have no plans on ever smoking pot again).

I met a girl in college who I began to like, we never dated, instead we played a power game, she was a BPD and has damaged me quite a lot. Our power game lasted for THREE years, and the rule was simple: who is gonna screw the opponents life more. An example of her behaviour: she came to my work and told my boss all she thought about me + all she knew about me in a way that I looked like a complete loser/jerk in the eyes of my boss.
Not going to tell more about the game but at the end I had to surrender and offered her peace which she accepted.

During the "game" with the girl I lost my job, my relationship, was drinking heavily, smoked pot and got addicted to gamling, all of that has been under control for 2 years now.

Here were the symptoms which lasted for half a year or so:

1° I was extremely depressed
2° I suffered from PTSD, no emotions at all, no sex drive, no desire to do ANYTHING, I felt nearly dead, people thought I was insane
3° I was able to keep my high profile job for a while but everyone saw I was ill and I was fired eventually
4° I became very paranoid about the next move by that girl who I for some reason had affection for, which was replaced by FEAR and HATRED later
5° there were NO halucinations in my head
6° sometimes I was awake for hours during night thinking about killing her



am I just a victim of a BPD girl who I happened to like and appreciate ? or do u think this could qualify as a psychosis ?

Hi Mracquis,
Well, I am not very much experienced with psychosis but the symptoms that you have reported are very similar to a symptom of a mental disorder called

Bipolar Mode Disorder

you need to fill a questionnaire to be able to reach an approximate estimation of whether you need to seek the help of a mental health professional or no.

I don't want to cross any rules of this forum that is why I am not sure whether I should give you the website where you can conduct such a test

I did go to a doctor, who appeared to be a NPD with a god complex (he admitted he was NPD), he did not detect any signs of bipolar disorder, he said I was abused by a BPD disordered person..

No, I don't see any symptoms listed there that would resemble psychosis. I think what you are experiencing is in fact PTSD. Psychosis usually involves either visual or auditory hallucinations accompanied by distorted beliefs.

Sounds like a dangerous game to play. I'm glad that you aren't playing it anymore.