I think something is wrong with me...

Hey,
so i don't know exactly how to post on here, seeing as how i've never been diagnosed with anything or been treated for any mental illnesses. As far as my family knows I'm completely normal. The past two or three years, I've come to realize that something is off in my head. And that it has always been a little off. I've never could put my finger on it, but I've always been extremely shy and outgoing at the same time, if that makes any sense. There would be moments when I would find it impossible to talk to the person next to me in school. Then, other moments when I could convince myself that I'm super confident and I can talk to anyone.

Sorry to be so random in jumping to another topic, but lately though, I've been holding on to thoughts that I know I shouldn't be. Something will pop into my head and it will be an outrageous thought and I'll dismiss it. Then I start to think 'well what if I can't get rid of that thought' and that fear will lead me to hang onto that thought. Then I start to think that maybe I'll never get rid of these thoughts because I'm thinking about thinking about forgetting about them......Ughh, this becomes a headache to me and I lose focus quickly, then I forget what I was thinking in the first place.

These are just a few tidbits of the inner-workings of my brain. I know I'm rambling a bit, but I've been reading on this forum and it seems like a safe place to post what I'm really like.

I'm 22 but I feel older than all the other 22-year-olds. I see family and friends getting married and hanging out and I just feel trapped. I hate to say this but seeing Demi Levato going to get treatment for whatever mental problems she has is kind of comforting to me. Just knowing there is someone else out there with problems similar to mine, I find solace in that. I'm not alone. This is my first time posting so I'm a little nervous. It's kind of like finally giving in and accepting the truth I've been trying to ignore.

Hey,

What you've mentioned here is not so alien/foreign to me. The thoughts that enter your head - which then begin to worry you - are akin to what is known as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). i'm sure that you've heard of this. Okay, it's not actually the thoughts themselves that are the signs of OCD - I mean, everyone gets fleeting thoughts like those in their head. However, it is your reaction to the thoughts that is related to OCD. Others would just dismiss/ignore the thoughts, but you react in an
unusual way, akin to OCD. As time goes by, if you do not take care of this, it might develop into a more serious form of OCD.

What I've just mentioned is actually related to the other stuff that you mentioned in your opening paragraph. The behaviour that you have (which you mention in that paragraph) is almost like the behaviour of a person with Asperger's Syndrome. They can be great in some areas of their lives, but abysmal in others. Then again, they can be both great and abysmal at the same thing too: If they are not prepared for it, they'll be abysmal; However, if they have prepared themselves, then they can be geniuses.

Let me know what you think. Do'nt be afraid to arrange an appointment with your local doctor.

Kevin

Hi and welcome to the forum.
So heres the way I see this. You could have some sort of disorder. The only was to know for sure is to go to a Psychiatrist. Even an appointment with your family doc is helpful. They can ask you more specific questions and make a referral to someone else if they feel it is appropriate.
OR you could be just a young person who has an active mind that needs to be stimulated. Highly intelligent people have minds that race, and are constantly referring to past knowledge with new experiences, to see connections. If you are not stimulating your mind with new info it has nothing to do but ruminate on old things. Try learning something challenging and new. See if it helps with the restless thinking.
You are right about being welcome here. Share as much as you like!
Best Wishes,
One

It sounds like you are wondering whether you should see a therapist or a psychiatrist. I would base my decision on whether or not you can accept how you feel and are okay with it. If you feel distressed about it or it distresses others, then consider looking for help. If not, then there isn't a problem and it is a non-distressing part of your personality. Most people have issues but they don't really cause real distress. But if your issues do, then they have crossed over into mental illness.