fly from the inside

Not sure how to put this, only that I cannot stand to be banned anymore, that's my life story really. How can you call this place what it is, and dare have a home for all the outsiders....
Wich includes the: antisocial-narcissistic-histrionic-schizotypal-schizoids, because all of that is a huge part of me!
But nobody can accept that, I do have a very twisted and at times sadistic sennse of humor, but does that make me any less welcomed here? Excuse me if I cannot be a hippocrite and fake sympathy all the time, but I don't like weakness and ignorance.
As an artist I don't believe in censoring, and the moderators can be sooo exasperating, always threatening to ban me for the slighest little things, and that's with me watching what I say!
It is better than to be hated for who you really are than loved for something you're not, right?
Why do moderators have to exist anyways? Everything is not ok, but so what? We have to tough here.
If I were the webmaster I'd totally let everyone do whatever they want, that's what living is all about, feel like I have to walk on egg shells in this place, not allowed to say practically anything! Sick and tired of always being looked as a villain, and just because I'm the only who says the truth, I don't sugar coat stuff, tell it like it is.
You're probably all wanting to ask me "oh why can't you just leave then? nobody wants you, you're so evil, arrogant, and immature", but I could cry right now about how much I need love, friends, never really had any , but don't pity me! and don't tell me "probably because you push everyone away..."
I'm smart, know phychology/psychopathology, everything like the back of my hand.
Currently listening to "hate me" by: Blue October, lol how appropiate :p, ok, not funny.
But hey, seriously now, wtf am I?
I'm clairvoyant you know , and every second of my existence I know, that's my gift as well as curse, to always know.
I'll never be understood, and those few and rare people that will claim to like me, what of they? I don't believe....
Still afraid of the dark you know, damn night terrors (demonic attacks), what do I want? Always asking myself that. Do you like the song...nevermind. Ok, well catch you guys later, got to go play another horror movie, and have some snack, forget to remember to breathe here.
Btw isn't Rob Thomas hot! Hahahahaha, *not about to cry_not*
Ooooh and who likes the band "Saliva", cool quote:

"Language has invented the word solitude to express the glory of being alone, and the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone."

Damn schizoidness, damn phone for not letting me use the emoticons
Damn beauty and death
Damn my cat for being so adorable that she makes me want to keep fighting, we're not alone, can't be, and there is no such thing as 'crazy' we're all just the awake ones, in a word full of sleepers, and it sucks. Ever pondered the possibility that so called 'insanity' is nothing more than spiritual illness?
Ha! You know, society today only acknowledged demons as part of our inner psyche, and the devil's greates deceit is that he doesn't exist, the condemned, btw that book 'the condemned' as well as the movies was sooo ******* SWEET
Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah gonna go, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one at all to talk to, just the whispering winds, and oh yeah, my movie btw remind me to sue the Blockbuster: Total Access thingy, ciao!

I'm pissed, hate being ignored
The only kind of attention I've ever gotten is negative
I just went to my kickboxing class, kicked some serious ass, hehe, venting all the rage
Have any of you ever seen this show on the History chn. entitled
"Human Weapon"? It's really good.
Well, hmm...may go to Oktoberfest in San Diego this 13th, heard it's pretty cool, serves that I can wear this wicked goth costume I got (not really a cost but never dared wear it during normal days), yeah...it's too hot, hahaha.
You know; I don't know what....
Idk! but trust. Oh boy I need a life, lol. It's not that I've like given up on trying to have a life, friends, etc. because I have, countless times, enough to realize it could never be, I'm too different, and people are afraid of that, the mystery, intense darkness, everything!
*sigh* the invisible, that's me
Ok, since today is my free day...guess I should go do something fun, already sick of thrill parks though, and there's nothing good out in theatres right now, plus I hate people.
Been wondering what I'm goin to dress up my cat as this halloween, still have that cute dragonfly costume....

I was recently banned. Was a supermod on the site even. I do empathize with the i cant fake sympathy. And if i'm ###$ up well that's me and therefore i should see support for that considering the catagories we have here and that this place preaches tolerance, sympathy ect. Yet i understand some thing's are not allowed or tolerated and for those you can recieve negative attention. And if it was a free for all this site would be a majority of flame wars and arguments.

Consider that the mod's aswell as the admin have issues aswell. We ALL make mistakes. I know you've made some and yet your still here so that to me is tolerance on there part for your personality and behavior.

If you are diagnosed with those personality disorders then i suggest posting in those forums. And there you might get your attention.

OMFG is that all I get?!?!?
Figures....That's great, it really is, I could have never figured out that bymyself, gee what great adisor you are. I'm so appeased, not at all homicidal at all right now the agonizing despair fading, oh what is that...? Is that a light? Ohh I see it!
Eeeeek some dumb ***** is listening to friggin Enrique Iglesias! Yuck! Hate that kind of music. Excuse me while I go pluck my brain out though my nose and my ears finish bleeding out.

SoKat wrote:I was recently banned. Was a supermod on the site even. I do empathize with the i cant fake sympathy. And if i'm ###$ up well that's me and therefore i should see support for that considering the catagories we have here and that this place preaches tolerance, sympathy ect. Yet i understand some thing's are not allowed or tolerated and for those you can recieve negative attention. And if it was a free for all this site would be a majority of flame wars and arguments.

Consider that the mod's aswell as the admin have issues aswell. We ALL make mistakes. I know you've made some and yet your still here so that to me is tolerance on there part for your personality and behavior.

If you are diagnosed with those personality disorders then i suggest posting in those forums. And there you might get your attention.

I think the issue here is one of free speech and I do not think the mods should have the right or ability to censor or delete what people have said as this not only infringes the right to free speech it removes the option of posting a counter argument.
If someone says something that is deemed controversial or offensive a more appropriate response would be to challenge what was said not delete it or threaten someone with being banned but if a thread gets so far off topic that it's no longer relevent it should be closed.

I think people aren't replying to this thread is because they don't know how to react to it, or possibly they want to stay away from the negativity....

Why do you want to constantly swear etc?
Remember this is a support site, if you aren't looking for support why do you continue to post?

quiet-loner wrote:

SoKat wrote:I was recently banned. Was a supermod on the site even. I do empathize with the i cant fake sympathy. And if i'm ###$ up well that's me and therefore i should see support for that considering the catagories we have here and that this place preaches tolerance, sympathy ect. Yet i understand some thing's are not allowed or tolerated and for those you can recieve negative attention. And if it was a free for all this site would be a majority of flame wars and arguments.

Consider that the mod's aswell as the admin have issues aswell. We ALL make mistakes. I know you've made some and yet your still here so that to me is tolerance on there part for your personality and behavior.

If you are diagnosed with those personality disorders then i suggest posting in those forums. And there you might get your attention.

I think the issue here is one of free speech and I do not think the mods should have the right or ability to censor or delete what people have said as this not only infringes the right to free speech it removes the option of posting a counter argument.
If someone says something that is deemed controversial or offensive a more appropriate response would be to challenge what was said not delete it or threaten someone with being banned but if a thread gets so far off topic that it's no longer relevent it should be closed.

This issue of censorship and deletion is a tough call. In the case of the young person contemplating suicide, we thought she might actually do it, and it wouldn't take much to push someone in that mindset over the edge, even an immature posting in her thread. If one wants to argue the pros and cons, or other aspects of such things as suicide, one can start his own thread for free discussion, not go tacking on distructive comments to a thread started by a person in crisis. Some of the censored stuff was along the lines of yelling "Jump" at a person standing on a ledge.
This site is a little different than most forums; we get people here who are fragile and we just can't be as sarcastic or into black humor as in less serious sites when providing feedback to troubled souls.

I agree, Trust me i've always been on the side of freedom of speech. And fought for it alot in the admin forum when someone brought up a questionable post. But as you can see NW come's off like some spoiled kid having a dramatic tantrum. And s/he has been problematic in the past. This isnt something new with them, so the ban threat isnt suprising.

S/he was passing along an opinion which should be allowed yet keep in mind this is a company, And more spicifically a site for SUPPORT. And in the context of that thread and his post he wasnt doing that, therefore not following the guidelines of the site. And also derailing a thread off topic which is a violation of the rule's. So yes, They could justify a ban or warning dispite freedom of speech because it's violating set rules.

Actually she has been warned many times, but since her posts are bothersome to other's then sometimes mods and admin need to step in to such posts.

You weren't banned, I thought awhile back that you were, but it's impossible to ban someone anyways who has a dynamic IP.

What does 'IP' stand for?
I wish all of you could say that to my face, and if I had a min with 'ifonly...' I believe I could change her ways too, but nooo, everyone's taking the role of her protector. And still don't see how what I posted was so "off topic" it was right on, just a diff. take, you have to admit that.
Listening to the song, well forgot the name, one of Korn's, goes like this: "...why won't you ever back down, oh god these feelings I feel would get be thrown in a cage!" like? I have been in live situations where a roomful of people, others in a psychward, etc. started attacking me like this, and guess who won? ME, hahahaha, true! It was so funny.
But seriously now, I am too mature! Am already 19yrs old you know. Ok got to go have breakfast now, laterz!