let down and giving up hope

AArrghhhhhhhhhhh i really need help right now. im struggling so much and they just dont get it. they dont get how serious this is. they dont get how desperate i am. they dont understand the complete mental torture im going through.

i tried phoning them cuz i was going out of my mind. firstly, there was no answer the first time i phoned. secondly, when i did get through they made me feel pathetic - like i was just having a few stressful things to deal with, like i was just having a routine 'normal person' bad day - not that im trying to deal with a life destroying mental illness. a kind of 'there there' type talk it was. THATS NOT WHAT ITS LIKE. THATS NOT WHAT I NEEDED. then i lost signal so i phoned back. no response again. and they havent made any effort to contact me back.

i cant take it. oh and my antidepressants aren't helping at all. and neither did the last lot. whats the point. nothing they do for me ever works. if anything it just makes me feel worse. I HATE IT.

PLUS it took them like 3 months just to assess me (and that was when i was only telling them about the depression symptoms). dont they get it....im struggling to get through every f*@king hour...i cant deal with 3 months of waiting. longer now.

$#%^. im giving up. i dont want to but i dont have a choice any more. they're not gonna help me. they dont even understand. whats the point. arrghhhh.

Are you able to ask for a refferal to a different doctor?

sadly not. im in england and being treated on the nhs so u dont get much say over who u see.

sorry i was in a bad mood when i wrote that and didnt realise what i had written! ummm...i was talking about a professional helpline thats affiliated with the mental hospital. with that its random who u speak to (and ive never met them before).

as for not being satisfied some other aspects of my treatment I think im gonna tell my gp that im not happy the next time i see him.

oh ok i didnt know that, thanks steph

i'll give them one last chance tho - i dont really like to make too much fuss!

ifonly,

You are not alone. You are worth the fuss.
You have worth. You have value.

You deserve help, just as much as anyone else.

I too hope you are ok.

Red