My body dysmorphia is really bad...

Hi. I'm the one who said I loathed my mother. I didn't know what loathe meant (to have contempt). Sorry, I'm sure I seemed really evil. Let's just say I have a lot of pent-up anger.

So I Think I have body dysmorphia.( I'm posting in the anti-psych part of the forum because it feels safer.) I say body dysmorphia(as opposed BDD) to side-step whether I'm ugly or not. That's irrelevant. I feel like my face and body are not mine. When I look in the mirror, it's like I'm seeing a ghost or a stranger. It almost feels like I have no face, I have a Surreal feeling when I look in the mirror. It's a horrible feeling. The same with my body. It's almost like walking hurts. Not physically but psychologically. Do you Think it could be depersonalization? I used to Think it was, now I Think it's body dysmorphia. It got worse after botched plastic surgeries though, so I don't know what that means.

Mirrors !

This post reminds me of the time I was staying at my moms apartment years ago for a few weeks and she had a mirror at the end of the hallway leading to the bedroom I was using. I could smoke in there cause when you opened the window the air always flowed from inside to outside and took the smoke with it. So like most smokers I puffed one about every 45 minutes. A pack a day average.

Finally I just got sick of checking myself out in the mirror every single time I went down the hall to the bedroom so I grabbed a towel and just covered it. My mom was like why did you do that, why did you put towel over the mirror ? Not that big a deal but I just don't want to check and see if my hair is out of place or does this shirt look cool ect ect 15 times a day . I Just don't feel like doing a mirror check every time I go down the hallway to the bedroom. It was impossible to avoid with that mirror at the end of the hallway.

I don't really have any problem with the way I look but I never liked having mirrors in my living space. The mirrors in the gym are cool I like to check out the pump I get from the weights but again mirrors at home in my living space no thanks !

I would suggest if you have mirrors in your home just take them down or cover them if they cause you distress.