Very Strong Believer in Anty-Psych.....but have some issues

DISCLAIMER: Btw way, this is a little "message self-defense booby trap", for any of you who respond saying "you have this disorder because of this...." automatically have their names "Mud", automatically will be referred to as "###$" and will have provided evidence of your weak, conceited, and depleted mind , and will be ignored! I've made this message "psychiatric proof"!

That said, I'd welcome the compassionate, clear, and encouraging souls who can relate with encouraging comments,


Okay, if there was something that I ever felt more passionate about, anti-psychiatry would be towards the top of the list. the method of finding psychiatric problems in people finds itself toward the top of the list of things that enrage me. The practice of pointing out disorders (without giving anything but western medicine toxin prescriptions as "solutions") sounds vile, cruel, and heartless.

Secondly, I've post a lot on this board about financial and parental issues. Those hopefully have been resolved (atleast are definitely in the process of gettin resolved)

Anyways, that said...here are some things that I've found to be troublesome but have been reluctant to share with people because of people labelling pointing out disorders, etc. Tha's what most of the dipshit morons in psychiatry or on psych board do -- point out problems, diagnose, and fabricate problems that people don't have, crippling and wounding their self-belief and life. I've been fortunate to meet the rare exception of people who just make you feel better, more clear, more confident -- the best healing possible!

Anways, I'm sure some dipshit ###$ will say I have bulemia, anorexia, schizophrenia, agoraphobia, social anxiety , and ptsd -- go right ahead -- I know those disorders only exist for the purpose of inferior hollow authority-seekers to feel fictitious "confidence" in denouncing others. NEvertheless, I just felt like posting this:

1. In college (and in highschool), I read and studied a lot of the times (sometimes watching entire dvd movies on my laptop) on the toilet because of a need for silence, clarity. I like bathrooms because their clean and uniform. Things never change in (decently well-kept bathrooms); there are little distractions and you can sincerely focus on material. Actually that's not a problem at all. That just sounds like I have a "laboratory-like interest" for focusing.

2. Whenever I go out (even to get groceries or somethign very "routine") I obsessively compulsively always feel like I need to run beforehand to build a "physiological wall". Then, (problematically) after running I feel as though I'm on a much clearer wavelength (very good), but then don't want to interact with people because of that. If I don't run, I feel like people's dirtiness, unintelligence, stupidity, problems (mainly their problems) "infect me". This is good because it encourages exercise, but I'd like to be able to mingle iwth people without feeling "infected". The derivation of this "infection feeling" most likely comes from being shifted like an object into a city in which I didn't plan to be out of obsequiousness. So I guess this problem is indirectly asking how to deactive subservience to people (namely parents) because it was subservience that put me in a city in which I feel "infected". Look out for the zombies!!!:) So there are few things going on: 1. I could feel this irrational 'infection fear" (i Know it's irrational to an extent; but some fear is good) everywhere, in which case it should be addressed
or
2. I could feel this irrational "infection fear" only in certain places and that fear is just my way fo telling myself that I don't like a place.

After all, what body signs do you experience when you don't like a place?/ It seems like "fear of being infected by people" is a pretty good sign of not liking a place. When I was in the jungle in Mexico, I did not have that fear. in places that possess a clarity and natural aliveness to them, I never feel "the infection fear". If person A doesn't like a place, they'll most likely leave, but if person A doesn't feel its within his capacity to leave, how will he cope? He may become disgusted with the place or form a quasi method of "semi-survival". What are the negative side effects of staying in an undesirable geographical place?

3. During a computer science class in college, I puked a lot. It was information that I didn't understand, the class was moving way too fast, and I think it was material I really wanted to learn, but I just remember sitting at the computer hours on end trying to figure this stuff out, and then forgetting to eat stuff, gorging on junk food, feeling sick, and then puking it up. Because labelling me with disorders (while the the tendency for weak-minded individuals) is out of the question, I don't know why I posted this because it's not a big problem now. I think about once per month, I feel like $#%^ (after eating poorly) and puke stuff up. This isn't gorging/purging bulemia; it's more like "not thinking about the future when eating junk food in the present".


Again....

DISCLAIMER: Btw way, this is a little "message self-defense booby trap", for any of you who respond saying "you have this disorder because of this...." automatically have their names "Mud", automatically will be referred to as "###$" and will have provided evidence of your weak, conceited, and depleted mind, and will be ignored! I've made this message "psychiatric proof"!

That said, I'd welcome the compassionate, clear, and encouraging souls who can relate with encouraging comments,

Kooz,

You seem to have done a great deal of self-analysis and soul searching to come to your conclusions. The greatest knowledge of all is self-knowledge.

I hope that you continue to be able to take care of your needs in the way that makes the most sense to you. I don't think that labeling necessarily makes the problem easier to understand or correct.

Good wishes to you...

N.

Hi, Kooz,
Some thoughts on "infection" by other people:
1. Shaky or weak sense of self. Must defend against being overwhelmed.
2. Fear of being absorbed and disappearing. Losing one's status as a separate entity.
3. Actually catching some mental contagion from others. Cultural ambivalence.
Go live amongst people you find acceptable. When you find yourself mimicking them ( a common thing to do; like adopting the accent of the local population) you will be happy, not repulsed.
Develop a stronger sense of self so that you don't have to feel so threatened when in unfavorable environments. Going for a run pumps endorphins, which make one feel strong and confident, more able to deal with the world. So that makes perfect sense.
Hurling after eating junk food; well, if you don't know its bad your body does.
Bathrooms are quiet bastions of privacy. Good places to go hide with one's laptop, especially if one has WIFI.
Are you still an angry porcupine today? ( Not a psychiatric label. )

Kooz -- do you experience sensory overload at all? I do exercise in part to lower this level of "anxiety" that is also connected (for me) to sensory overload, and sometimes avoid places because they make me more ... shaky. Like not necessarily anxious, but just more overloaded. The bathroom thing made me think of this -- a place where things are "clean" and "stable", not a lot of shifting stimulation.

I don't like psychiatrists at all, and I hope I don't sound like I'm offering diagnoses. Just curious about what you experience is all.

Other than that, curious what you identify as problems you have, undesirable things, and what thoughts you have about what might help.

so you're a little odd - and yes, I'm sure your grocery shopping experience would be a LOT more streamlined if you didn't feel the need to establish your physical/psychic space.

the two questions are:

1) are you functional?

2) do you need a place to whine in peace about your oddness?

1) most people (yours truly included) have succumbed to the psych paradigm at one point or another because the $#%^ just got too tough, man... give me a little sedation for the chance to stop having to deal with the goddamn elephant or whatever it is. Studies show that 1 in 10 people 'hear voices', but only 1 in 100 of those feel so distressed by them that they go to the shrink. Such a vast reservoir of subjects suffering aural hallucinations, yet only a tenth of those are upset enough to buy into the thing...

So... if all this stuff is actually causing you distress, then trying to DO sthg about it is not so awful. Shaman, shrink, Bible, whatever it ends up being... it's all good. Each of these have a prescribed paradigm, pertinent labels for the 'patients', and a flawed course of relief. (what's better, 'you're possesed by demons' or 'you have Vomitive Perspectuative Disorder Du Jour'? Once again, only relevant if you're really needing the fix...)

2) needing a place to whine about your oddness/spookiness/the way you scare others and yourself is poss. the next most compelling reason people 'seek help' and labels. Once again, I confess, moi.

why this need to announce to the world "I like to read in toilets and I approach the grocery store like a spiritual warrior of some far-off epic"? Maybe it's like what Moderator said earlier - you just got to find people more like you. Certainly that applies to 100% ALL OF US. Misery loves company and all that. But who the hell do you find to commiserate with about weird, scary, funny, neurotic, poss. psychotic things? You talk to just about anyone, even close friends, and they immediately point you towards the shrink anyway. So most just cut to the chase and EMBRACE THE SHRINK PARADIGM. (Or those loving friends and relatives do it for them... gotta love those loving friends...)

The difficulty with this is by buying into the paradigm, you end up labeling yourself and using it as a crutch. The other (worst problem) is when the system turns the tables on you when you stop playing by the rules. Everything's misconstrued as a sign of 'non-compliance' and further dissent lands you in the hospital (once again, confessionary mode seems the word of the day for me). The mildest complaint of a spooky problem, followed by 'but I'm really OK, just need a little time out' has them call the clinic in a new york second.

possibly if you're odd-functional and you can't resist the urge to whine (IE, share experiences, rail against the system, get a daily fix of 'poor you' or 'yeah me too!!') then the only solution is to keep a low profile, keep your nose clean, and use forums such as this in order to rant a bit.

just as you did - most admirably, I might add..