Halidol nightmare *triggers*

Do you(copy Cat) feel like you can enjoy things now(the museum etc.)? Does it feel the same or similar to before the drugs ?
It seems like I've also lost the ability to enjoy reading. It seems like a mixture of anhedonia and also some kind of specific brain damage from halidol. I suppose because halidol is a drug for schizophrenia(which I was labelled for a week based on fabrications from my "Dr") and halidol is supposed to stop "voices." Reading is all about hearing the "voice" of the author and using your imagination to "see things." It seems like the "cure" this drug wanted for me is complete mental blankness at all times.

Iwanttorecover1 wrote:Do you(copy Cat) feel like you can enjoy things now(the museum etc.)? Does it feel the same or similar to before the drugs ?
It seems like I've also lost the ability to enjoy reading. It seems like a mixture of anhedonia and also some kind of specific brain damage from halidol. I suppose because halidol is a drug for schizophrenia(which I was labelled for a week based on fabrications from my "Dr") and halidol is supposed to stop "voices." Reading is all about hearing the "voice" of the author and using your imagination to "see things." It seems like the "cure" this drug wanted for me is complete mental blankness at all times.

I can enjoy things now and seem to have recovered from the drugs.

You are way ahead of the game, I didn't discover anti psychiatry (the truth) until I was years into it.

Anti psychiatry saved me so I pay it forward by spreading the word of it online to others.

One mistake I think people make when dealing with these "doctors" is to claim they are not "sick" hoping to get out of the hospital or just to be left alone.

I think its better sometimes to say or yes I am "ill" sure what ever but your treatments for my so called illness are worse than the illness itself. That way they can't claim you "lack insight" and all that trash. Honesty is not something they use very often but its worth trying.

Psychiatry is so full of $#%^ anyway, no one refuses treatments that actually do make them feel better.

There treatments and drugs suck so bad they need lies and coercion and violence to get people to take them , LOL what a pathetic profession.

Iwanttorecover1 wrote:It seems like a mixture of anhedonia and also some kind of specific brain damage from halidol.

You might just have an like an emotional hangover after all that stress.

The first post sounded like a horrific experience.

I wouldn't worry about Haldol brain damage.

Iwanttorecover1 wrote:A nurse comes in with a security guard and tells me I need to take a drug called halidol. I do not want to take this drug but I'm told I'll be injected with it if I refuse so I do.

How did I forget to post on THAT ? The first post was triggering.


In 1979, the United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit established in Rogers v. Okin that a competent patient committed to a psychiatric hospital has the right to refuse treatment in non-emergency situations. The case of Rennie v. Klein established that an involuntarily committed individual has a constitutional right to refuse psychotropic medication without a court order. Rogers v. Okin established the patient's right to make treatment decisions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_treatment


Oh sure that can bring a security guard to intimidate and say you "need" to take the drug and YOU can tell them to come back with a court order.

Notice they didn't say "must take."

You say - I know my rights, I will sue and win if you inject me with no court order.

They do that bull $#%^ injection threat to everyone who tries to refuse their effing pill lobotomy. Its bull $#%^ and now you know it too.

They WONT say the truth: THEY NEED A COURT ORDER TO MAKE YOU TAKE THAT CRAP.

I wrote about the time I refused the pills and got the injection threat here several times, it scared me severly and pissed me off at the same time but I continued to refuse the pills and no injection came AND of course no one told me about my rights and court orders and my right to speak in court and have defense counsel.

It was my inpatient nightmare that caused me to start writing here.

My mom told me to meet her at a "brown building" where she's having an empath meeting. My halidol damaged brain goes up to a random brown house and tries to open the door. Suddenly I realize what I've done and walk away in horror. The man living in the house comes out and threatens to call the police and screams at me to get the f away from his house. I tell my mom about this "That could happen to anyone" I tell my therapist and she says it could be "stress" or "depression."
Today I left my computer at a restaurant.
All of this happened off the lorazapam(I'm tired of looking up the spellings for these stupid drugs) so maybe it was even "helping" with memory.
I am so tired. There has not been one day when I haven't thought of suicide. I can't stand to look at people anymore. I am tired of being looked at like I'm a monster.

Iwanttorecover1 wrote:All of this happened off the lorazapam(I'm tired of looking up the spellings for these stupid drugs) so maybe it was even "helping" with memory.

Lorazepam (Ativan) ain't that bad, the only thing that sucks is if you take it for a wile then don't have it the withdrawals can cause some pretty wicked anxiety. Then if your unlucky they call that anxiety "mania" and start with the zombify pills or just anxiety and start SSRI nightmare like Paxil that also can make you sick when you try and quit taking it.

I guess you saw the other thread I started about refusing stuff like Haldol inpatient.

Iwanttorecover1 wrote: I can't stand to look at people anymore. I am tired of being looked at like I'm a monster.

I disagree, I think people are so self centered they don't have time to look at you like a monster, most of them are so caught up in themselves and worrying about things like if their stupid lawn is greener than the neighbors and trying to impress people with their boring generic by the book lives.


Sorry but I think so called "normal" people suck.

I forgot to put in my story that the "Dr." from the hospital put in my file that I tried to kill my mother. This really is a bizarre stretch of the truth since what happened is I slapped her on the back and said I wish you were dead as I was leaving the house. I can only imagine that she invented this fabrication because she wanted to have a logical justification for giving me halidol since misdiagnosing me with schizophrenia made her look incompetent.
My mother has called the hospital at least 5 times complaining about this and says the police report will also show that never happened.
They still won't get rid of it though and that's the file that shows up every time I see a Dr. That's what the neurologist I'm going to speak to will see.
The ruminations about the hospital are endless and nonstop. I wish I could stop thinking about it but it seems my brain wants to go over it every day all day.
I am also having bizarrely vivid memories/flashbacks to my childhood that are almost 3D. It actually just depresses me because it feels like I'm back but I'm actually stuck here in hell.

A couple days ago I started having tremors in my mouth and now it moves around by itself from time to time. I don't know if this is permanent.
I feel a sense of anxiety every time it happens.
I am thinking of letting the psychiatrist proscribe me zoloft for a while because they say it can increase dopamine but am obviously skeptical about psychiatric meds after my experience. Did anyone try this after getting off of anti psychotics?

Iwanttorecover1 wrote:A couple days ago I started having tremors in my mouth and now it moves around by itself from time to time. I don't know if this is permanent.
I feel a sense of anxiety every time it happens.
I am thinking of letting the psychiatrist proscribe me zoloft for a while because they say it can increase dopamine but am obviously skeptical about psychiatric meds after my experience. Did anyone try this after getting off of anti psychotics?

Have you ever heard that nursery rhyme "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly" ?


The song tells the story of an old woman who swallowed increasingly large animals, each to catch the previously swallowed animal.


Fly – "But I don't know why She swallowed a fly Perhaps she'll die."
Spider – "That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her."
Bird – "How absurd."
Cat – "Imagine that."
Dog – "What a hog."
Goat – "She just opened her throat."
Cow – "I don't know how."
Horse – "She's dead, of course."


I know an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird
How absurd to swallow a bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she'll die

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat
Imagine that. She swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die ...


I know a young man who swallowed some Haldol...

He swallowed some Zoloft for the side effects of Haldol but the Zoloft gave him anxiety and "mania" so he swallowed some Lorazapam and some bipolar drugs now to catch the Zoloft... But the Lorazapam was addictive and the bipolar drugs made him feel like a zombie... So he swallowed what ever they gave him next...


Dude they will never stop with the drugs till you say enough no more.

And its total bull sh^t that increasing dopamine with Zoloft is a treatment for anti psychotic induced movement disorders if thats what you even have. . And that doctor is an A hole for trying to treat your anxiety with that crap given that it often causes more anxiety and 'mania' that of course they will blame on your 'illness' and push more drugs if that happens.

Its your choice, you can keep at it with the pills as long as you want. Have fun.

I learned my lesson. Hurt me once shame on you , hurt me twice shame on me.

My question is did this doctor ever apologize for the inpatient Haldol nightmare inflicted on you by him or his fellow doctors ?


Psychiatrists are like snakes or the profession is.


Girl and the Snake

A young girl walking along a mountain path to her grandmother's house heard a rustle at her feet. Looking down, she saw a snake, but before she could react, the snake spoke to her.

"I am about to die," he said. "It's too cold for me up here, and I am freezing. There is no food in these mountains, and I am starving. Please put me under your coat and take me with you."

"No," the girl replied. "I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. And if I pick you up, you will bite me and your bite is poisonous."

"No, no," the snake said. "If you help me, you will be my best friend. I will treat you differently."

[ SORRY FOR THE HALDOL NIGHTMARE , I WILL TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY ]

The young girl sat down on a rock for a moment to rest and think things over. She looked at the beautiful markings on the snake and she had to admit he was the most beautiful snake she had ever seen.

Suddenly, she said, "I believe you. I will save you. All living things deserve to be treated with kindness."

She then reached over, put the snake gently under her coat and continued toward her grandmother's house.

Within a moment, she felt a sharp pain in her side. The snake had bitten her!

"How could you do this to me?" she cried. "You promised that you would not bite me, and I trusted you!"

"You knew I was a snake when you picked me up," he hissed as he slithered away.