Want to end treatment

How do I convince my T and pdoc that I am no longer depressed?

I have come to the conclusion that seeking mental health treatment was ill advised for me and no longer wish to participate. However, walking away would be complicated by the fact that they consider me to be dangerously depressed. There opinion is going to be a factor in an upcoming hearing so I want to do this with as little collateral damage as possible.

Is it really so simple as to go in there with a smile on my face and go down the depression checklist and talk about how everything has changed? i.e. Instead of having lost interest in things that I use to enjoy, talk about how, "I found a new friend that I'm playing chess with lately. Gosh, I used to really enjoy chess but ... I think I just lost interest as I became increasingly depressed."

Also, how do I insure that they conclude that they can wean me off the anti-depressants et al? I'd hate for them to determine that the only reason that I'm doing so darn well is because of them.

Any help will be appreciated.

For clarification, do you believe you won't benefit from any mental health treatment, or simply their treatment?

cntbelivit wrote:For clarification, do you believe you won't benefit from any mental health treatment, or simply their treatment?

I am not suffering from any mental health issues that would be served by attending therapy and my physical health is sufficiently precarious to make every visit to the therapist and PDoc a significant sacrifice.

I was suffering from depression. I did not realize it for some time and as a result, it got quite severe. Not having been depressed before, at least not to my knowledge and certainly nothing this severe, I contacted a therapist immediately upon realizing my condition. Turns out, I had resources to address the depression that I was not aware of. The depression has completely lifted. My last visit to the PDoc consisted of him bewildered at my improvement and his subsequent determination that I must be faking it. He's directed me to speak to my therapist about a non-issue because "I won't get better until I do".

I understand why he believes this to still be an issue, but he is incorrect. I don't have a lot of time left (to live) because of my physical condition. I do not wish to spend my final two years (my primary care physicians best guess) playing psychotropic wheel of fortune. Too, every hour spent in his office is one more hour away from my wife.

In anticipation of another possible question: No, he did not say that he thought I was faking it. However, I am an author. My last published book had a section on body language and I have been asked to give presentations for both the American Psychiatric Association and the FBI on the subject. He clearly thought I was trying to misrepresent my condition.

Why it is important to me that I leave on good terms: I have applied for social security disability. If I fail to cooperate, it may reflect poorly on my case and while I won't be here to spend it - the back pay once approved will be important for my wife. With it, we'll be able to buy a small home and I know she'll always have a place to live. It'll make dying less stressful to know that her material needs are provided for.

Hey Sonseerae. First off, I wanted to apologize for my delayed response. You've been so forthcoming while I just dally around your thread!

I read your open letter, and my heart goes out to you and your wife. I don't know if I can be of any help; feel free to disregard any of this:

Sonseearae wrote:My last visit to the PDoc consisted of him bewildered at my improvement and his subsequent determination that I must be faking it. He's directed me to speak to my therapist about a non-issue because "I won't get better until I do".

Because he knows how you feel better than you do...? Yeah. sorry. That just makes me angry. So, how do you deal with it? I don't know if this is the "right" way, but I'd try:

1) To give him one more go. Maybe he needs a little time to believe it, see the results and what have you. At your next check up (assuming it's no more than three months away) reaffirm you're still doing great. I think, at the very least, he'd recommend you cut down on visits.

2) If you know that won't work/don't have the time to try, just lie. I don't think you need some master scheme as long as you keep life talk generally positive. Include you using the "coping skills" you 've learned through them. I.e. 'I didn't want to get out of bed the other day, but I remembered that you suggested I set my alarm clock across the room... it rang and I got out!'

Just whatever, man, whatever. I don't think it'll be as hard as it seems.

3) For the meds I'd buy and toss them; tell the doc they're working just great.

I don't know that you can completely dim the situation to ZERO doctor visits, but surely they can be reduced.

Sonseearae wrote:In anticipation of another possible question: No, he did not say that he thought I was faking it. However, I am an author. My last published book had a section on body language and I have been asked to give presentations for both the American Psychiatric Association and the FBI on the subject. He clearly thought I was trying to misrepresent my condition.

I don't know if I quite understand how he inferred that from your occupation? That ou're more likely to brush off treatment due to your slight association with the psychology field? What?

Sonseearae wrote:Why it is important to me that I leave on good terms: I have applied for social security disability. If I fail to cooperate, it may reflect poorly on my case and while I won't be here to spend it - the back pay once approved will be important for my wife. With it, we'll be able to buy a small home and I know she'll always have a place to live. It'll make dying less stressful to know that her material needs are provided for.

Yeah that's really tough. All this aside, your wife has managed by herself before you and shall continue to without. It will hurt, but she can take care of herself.

cntbelivit wrote:Hey Sonseerae. First off, I wanted to apologize for my delayed response. You've been so forthcoming while I just dally around your thread!

No worries at all, and thank you very much for the response. You didn't have to come back at all. I may not be so clear this go... I just spent 30 hours talking a friend down who suffers from combat related PTSD; haven't slept for much longer than should be possible for me, but I wanted to respond before I went to sleep.

cntbelivit wrote:1) To give him one more go. Maybe he needs a little time to believe it, see the results and what have you. At your next check up (assuming it's no more than three months away) reaffirm you're still doing great. I think, at the very least, he'd recommend you cut down on visits.

2) If you know that won't work/don't have the time to try, just lie. I don't think you need some master scheme as long as you keep life talk generally positive. Include you using the "coping skills" you 've learned through them. I.e. 'I didn't want to get out of bed the other day, but I remembered that you suggested I set my alarm clock across the room... it rang and I got out!'
Just whatever, man, whatever. I don't think it'll be as hard as it seems.

3) For the meds I'd buy and toss them; tell the doc they're working just great.

You confirmed what I suspected and I'm grateful for that. I can proceed with more confidence now.

Sonseearae wrote:In anticipation of another possible question: No, he did not say that he thought I was faking it. However, I am an author. My last published book had a section on body language and I have been asked to give presentations for both the American Psychiatric Association and the FBI on the subject. He clearly thought I was trying to misrepresent my condition.

cntbelivit wrote:3) For the meds I'd buy and toss them; tell the doc they're working just great. I don't know if I quite understand how he inferred that from your occupation? That ou're more likely to brush off treatment due to your slight association with the psychology field? What?

Right, I was terribly unclear. No, I was suggesting that my interpretation of his body language said that he did not believe me. My explanation was just to assure you that I was not just 'guessing' because I read an article on body language on Yahoo once. I actually wrote the article.

Sonseearae wrote:Why it is important to me that I leave on good terms: I have applied for social security disability. If I fail to cooperate, it may reflect poorly on my case and while I won't be here to spend it - the back pay once approved will be important for my wife. With it, we'll be able to buy a small home and I know she'll always have a place to live. It'll make dying less stressful to know that her material needs are provided for.

cntbelivit wrote:Yeah that's really tough. All this aside, your wife has managed by herself before you and shall continue to without. It will hurt, but she can take care of herself.

Yeah...no. She actually has never managed by herself before me. I'm fifty years old; my wife and I have been together since she was fourteen. She was kidnapped a year later and sold into the sex trade. Nine months after her disappearance an opportunity to escape arose but she had to kill someone to do so. She did. They turned out to be innocent and she did twenty-four years in prison beginning when she was fifteen years old. We talked six times a day every day and I visited four times a week during that time. I visited once, four hours after heart surgery cause I knew she'd be worried. Unhooked myself out of every ICU contraption they had me plugged into and walked out. I have over 10,000 cards and letters...every one she ever wrote me. She came home to me at 39 years old. As you might imagine, it's a long road back.

Thank you so much for responding, I am grateful.

You may not recognize it now, but will definitely later: You are being controlled in this situation, whether you are allowing it or not.

greenpurple wrote:You may not recognize it now, but will definitely later: You are being controlled in this situation, whether you are allowing it or not.

I think he realizes and is no bystander, hence the topic.

Sonseearae wrote: No worries at all, and thank you very much for the response. You didn't have to come back at all. I may not be so clear this go... I just spent 30 hours talking a friend down who suffers from combat related PTSD; haven't slept for much longer than should be possible for me, but I wanted to respond before I went to sleep.

Thanks for your response. Even on sleep depravation it wasn't muddy at all (a mighty fret).

Hope your friend is doing better. May I ask what war he was in?

Sonseearae wrote:No, I was suggesting that my interpretation of his body language said that he did not believe me. My explanation was just to assure you that I was not just 'guessing' because I read an article on body language on Yahoo once. I actually wrote the article.

Ah okay I see. Caught in the act, wasn't he?

Sonseearae wrote:Yeah...no. She actually has never managed by herself before me. I'm fifty years old; my wife and I have been together since she was fourteen. She was kidnapped a year later and sold into the sex trade. Nine months after her disappearance an opportunity to escape arose but she had to kill someone to do so. She did. They turned out to be innocent and she did twenty-four years in prison beginning when she was fifteen years old. We talked six times a day every day and I visited four times a week during that time. I visited once, four hours after heart surgery cause I knew she'd be worried. Unhooked myself out of every ICU contraption they had me plugged into and walked out. I have over 10,000 cards and letters...every one she ever wrote me. She came home to me at 39 years old. As you might imagine, it's a long road back.

That's AWFUL. Clearly the judicial and medical systems leave much to be desired--just little things like basic human rights. I don't have the words to describe how ###$ up that is.

Erm, not trying to be unpleasant but I still disagree. Your wife is obviously an extraordinary woman to have lived through all that she has. It may be difficult, yes, especially after prison conditioning and other traumas, but she can still survive this. Life will change but go on.

Besides, possessions like a house are really just big band aids aren't they? It's easier to take care of a place than it is yourself. You're attempting to do everything you can for your wife but I beg to ask do you truly believe it's a house she needs? Your actual concern seems to be much more than that: "She actually has never managed by herself before me."

If I may be so bold as to go on, have you spoken with her about all this (apologizes if that's rude to ask I don't want to assume either way)? Does she know your fears and do you know hers? What is it that she'd prefer when you're gone? This is *really* what's important, that you two are working together and know where each other's at.

cntbelivit wrote:
Hope your friend is doing better. May I ask what war he was in?

Hi! We just stopped in to get some clothes and the dog and heading over to our friends house to babysit his dog and clean up for him a bit and expect to stay the night. I'm going to try and log in on his computer but in the event that doesn't work out - didn't want to leave you hanging. He was in the Vietnam War. Hope I can add more later tonight.

Sonseearae wrote:Hi! We just stopped in to get some clothes and the dog and heading over to our friends house to babysit his dog and clean up for him a bit and expect to stay the night. I'm going to try and log in on his computer but in the event that doesn't work out - didn't want to leave you hanging. He was in the Vietnam War. Hope I can add more later tonight.

Oh dear, looks like the ball's in my court now (and I failed! failed, failed...).

Don't worry about it, clearly I'm on and off myself. Feel free to PM me too if you'd prefer. Glad to hear you're out and about.