I am concerned.

I recently received a diagnosis of "bipolar type II" disorder...yeah that one that catch all "disorder" that everyone seems to get nowadays. Anyways, I'm not denying that bipolar does indeed exist. I just, like most of the intelligent people on this site, have noticed how it doesn't seem like there is any real criteria, its bunk. Or that they could fit anyone into this "disorder". Any rational intelligent human being can see this, or at least a red flag goes up.

Now I have a case manager who's helping me set up with a counselor/psychologist - who I've met with once, already. And I have 9 more sessions scheduled. And a gung ho "all too eager to prescribe the next med" psychiatrist whom I see about...every month and a half.


I mean this whole thing is a terrible joke and like you all, I'm caught in the middle of it trying to navigate it as best I can.

I needed to come here to ask some questions. To sane people. To people who don't have a conflict of interest - that is. How terrible. And yet I've been on this train my whole life, basically. I feel so angry, so confused at how incompetent the whole system is, so confused and mad at myself for allowing this to happen for years and years and not learning.
But it's still confusing. You HAVE to go through these systems to a degree. It's so hard when you are already shaky and vulnerable - you have people telling you this and that, and forcing an authoritarian relationship, where the "patient" doesn't know anything, anything at all - and is supposed to listen to the all knowing doctor or counselor, who, half the time doesn't know anything at all but are grasping at straws and the patient is on the losing end.

I'm so frustrated I could scream.

Where do I go from here? I know, I suspect I have manic reactions to ssri's, which I just figured out recently - after YEARS of use on them, somehow I didn't make the connection. And anyway, I'm tired of being on meds. I don't want it anymore. And I'm sick of being pressured, leveraged and cooed with the graveness of it all when I go into talk with these people.

And when you speak up, stick up for yourselves, you're labeled defensive and argumentative. Often times the provider will take any real concerns you state out and convictions or observations and invalidate them, and you're supposed to go along with what they say you should think - how it is. If you do not or disagree, it's often an ego challenge - and the provider/psychiatrist or counselor will give the message "its my way or the highway" and say something to the effect of "well I'm not going to argue. I'm the professional here, and you're challenging me." As if to bring you down to a level of idiot and step on your ego (which is exactly what they are doing) so as to minimize conflict.

I'm not even sure I want to see these people ever again. I will be very, Very cautious. At least.
I can see now that the med roller coaster of getting on, withdrawing and having bad effects - prompts the psychiatrist to action to prescribe yet another med, or several in reaction to confuse and complicate the picture even more. I don't have to expound, this has been written about extensively already on accounts such as MadinAmerica, and here. It happens all the time.

I'm sick of the pressure to conform, the mind wrenching, leveraging ....its psychological assault. It exactly is.


I don't know if I'm bipolar or not, I know I suspect definitely I have a manic reaction to many meds. And want to stay off of prescribed sri's for the indefinite future. I know I will get flack when I state my desires to a doctor, or counselor, and then I know the whole power Ego-defense structure will activate ... and I will know nothing, how dare I say any thing at all. It will be reduced most likely to an argument where either I conform or the doctor threatens, pressures and forces me to leave because I'm "challenging them". I'm tired of stating what I want and what I think is best for myself deep down, to have it challenged at my most vulnerable and weak moment. I'm sick of arguing, of how I'm often made to feel and believe I don't know anything at all - and that I SHOULD listen to them. It's brainwashing. I don't want to be made to feel like I'm arguing, when I'm not. How can such a system so flawed be allowed to operate. How can these "professionals" not see these issues, and if they do remain willfully blind to them.

Any suggestions? Should I continue to see these people, however cautiously? I'm firmly convicted to stand by myself this time and from here forward in my quest to get better.

I know I'm on a soap box here. But I think I deserve this, its been a long time coming and its only from a natural course of events.

I think I replied to another one of your posts in another section. Anyways, regarding what you said here...unfortunately, an aspect of bipolar can be thinking you don't have it. It's certainly a double edge sword and if you haven't excepted the diagnosis fully it can be a struggle that is on going. Of course, there are people who stop seeing their pdocs and stop their meds (I don't recommend that), but usually they need to go back to them when they get in a crisis, which is usually just a matter of time.

I understand that, and that's a valid point. I really do not think or feel that I am bipolar at this point, though.

Granted, I've said that i do notice a more than likely "manic reaction" from the sri's, or at least the latest one i've been on - but there have been more. ...

I've never had - as far as I know - any problems or issues with mania or what you'd think of as "the typical bipolar characteristics" in my life apart from the meds. Like, left on my own. I'm fine. Just a lot of anxiety and depression and the normal travails of life I suppose.

I mean I could be mistaken, and this is all a process. That's where I stand now. I'm open to the possibility of bipolar ii diagnosis if that's indeed what it is. I think the point of my posting was also expounding on the point that I take these diagnoses "with a grain of salt" so to speak, as I realize the way the APA does not base it on science but rather - vote in disorders to existance - , so any person in touch with reality has to realize this, and take it into an account.

Thanks!

EricBlue wrote: That's where I stand now. I'm open to the possibility of bipolar ii diagnosis if that's indeed what it is.

"What it is"

I understand that if a doctor says that I am bipolar or that I have a psychiatric illness or disease, he or she is just using a figure of speech and cannot establish, with any test or procedure known to medical science that I in fact "have" the "illness" implied by the diagnostic label.

There is no medical evidence "it" even exists. X-ray , scan , blood test ...


This link is a good one, explains how this bipolar catch all diagnosis got so big.

The Latest Mania: Selling Bipolar Disorder http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.0030185

Can't you just tell them you decided to quit being a mental patient and walk away or just stop showing up ? Thanks alot but I decided I don't like and don't believe in psychiatry, have a nice day. Buy now.

Sometimes it's just easier to throw down your weapons and simply walk off the battlefield.

This is not sinking in. I wish it would. If I hear someone - a professional or doctor in a medical setting. tell me I have one of these stupid "disorders" or "diseases" (which they shouldn't be going around in the first place saying to ANYbody), it is just really hard for me to let that bounce off.

Even though its crap. It's just hearing somebody say "you have this disease" it makes you cringe. It doesn't matter how much I'm used to it, heard it, it still gets to me.

I'm trying to picture myself saying what you said. I know internally I'd still feel it got me. That's what I don't like. You're right. These people need to f*cking stop saying this $#%^ like its nothing. It's really bad and its really wrong.

Let me come at this from a different perspective. I accept my psychiatric diagnosis, but for one reason. My life is highly affected a great deal by the exact things that are described in the DSM. Unfortunately this horrible book is all that we have to go on at this time. I know how difficult it can be to accept and understand a psychiatric label, and I also agree that they are given out too freely now a days for kickbacks from the pharmaceutical companies. For me it's less about the label, and more about how it affects my life. I personally don't like spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a whim which leaves me unable to live independently. I don't like that I will do dangerous things when not in the right mindset. I don't like when all my friends and family abandon me due to my negative reactions and behaviors. etc. THAT's what I work on. I don't focus on the label too much, but I accept it because for me, it really does portray some of the difficulties that I have.

I hope this makes sense? That you can still accept a psychiatric diagnosis and have an anti-psych mindset at the same time.

It does. Thank you!! I will try harder to adapt this mindset.

In my 20's I jumped off a 2nd story balcony and stumbled down two flights of stairs (I could've broke my neck!) and in my 30's overdosed on all the medication I could get my hands on (and was in a coma on life support for 5 days). Now, at least knowing I'm Bipolar gives me some answers as to why the hell I did what I did. Also, now I'm on the appropriate medication to hopefully prevent that kind of behavior and actions in the future.

In my 20's I jumped off a 2nd story balcony and tumbled down two flights of stairs (I could've broke my neck!) and in my 30's overdosed on all the medication I could get my hands on (and was in a coma on life support for 5 days). Now, at least knowing I'm Bipolar gives me some answers as to why the hell I did what I did. Also, now I'm on the appropriate medication to hopefully prevent that kind of behavior and actions in the future.