I was forced into hospital and on to medication at 14

In 2010 I was put on a drug called risperdal for my high-functioning autism in an attempt to help it improve, after taking it I started sleeping heavily and felt that something was off. I started being unable to tell the difference from dream and reality, nothing felt real anymore and my emotions weren't as strong. I described all of these symptoms to my parents, my psychiatrist and I was taken off of the drug.

For about 6 months I still had these symptoms, however they went away after that. I felt better, I felt like I was back on Earth and everything felt normal again. I was fine, happy.

In 2011 me and my parents had a meeting with my psychiatrist, they wanted me back on the medication. I refused, so they put me in hospital again to bring me back on it. I was put back on a higher dose and was left on it for about 4 months, all of the symptoms came back instantly but they were even worse than before. My memory went bad, I've lost my ability to spell properly or make coherent sentences, I can no longer talk properly anymore, motor skills went bad, my mind becomes scrambled when I try to say stuff and I got OCD & intrusive thoughts. Keep in mind I was experiencing these symptoms along with the same symptoms I got when I was put on the medication for the first time. I was taken off of it around September, 2011.

It's now October, 2014 and I still have all of those symptoms I listed above. My OCD is extremely bad now, I now have delusions to keep thinking certain things while repeating certain actions 4-16 times in order not make the negative things I do not want to become real.

Nothing is real anymore, I have dreams which feel a bit more realistic than what "reality" feels like. I feel that when I wake up I am just entering another dream.

I can no longer talk properly, people often make fun of me for that (describing me as retarded). I now shake my legs a lot. People say it's because of my autism (which I'm not even sure I have), but I never had any of this until I took that drug. I now have sleeping issues, if I go to sleep a noise will wake me up (everyone says it's my sleeping pattern, but it's not). Nobody has taken me seriously about it.

I feel betrayed by my family members and psychs, I want them all to die. I've lashed out at my family members for many reasons, mainly this.

My parents never leave me alone when I'm trying to sleep, they try to aggravate me because they know keeping me awake does. I've told them this and they ignore what I say each time, they call me a liar and make snide remarks towards me (which is what triggers me to become angry).

I cannot see psych, I've seen so many therapists, psychiatrists in my life that it's driving me nuts. I cannot handle them anymore.

I have depression mainly because of certain things that have happened, but it's not as bad as this Hell which this drug has given me. There is no way out of this thing I have, because I'm now almost 18 and still have it.

Hi and welcome!

Im sorry this happened to you. Psychiatrists aren't always the best at understanding patients. This I know.

Anti-psychotics are powerful drugs and they do have side effects. Out of curiosity, did they ever say why you should be on them? Usually they are given for apparent psychosis.

Yes, to stablise my mood-- make me seem less swingy. I don't have psychosis, but at this point I won't be surprised if I end up having it due to the medication.

Johnson & Johnson busted pushing Risperdal off label.

Johnson & Johnson to Pay More Than $2.2 Billion to Resolve Criminal and Civil Investigations
http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/johnson-johnson-pay-more-22-billion-resolve-criminal-and-civil-investigations



These dirtbags even put Legos stamped Risperdal in pediatricians offices.

Un Information wrote:Yes, to stablise my mood-- make me seem less swingy. I don't have psychosis, but at this point I won't be surprised if I end up having it due to the medication.

I know the lawyers are looking for victims of Risperdal http://www.google.com/search?q=risperdal+lawyers

I was hurt real bad by Zyprexa, was sick for like 6 months with vomiting, nausea, anxiety attacks and psychosis I never have BEFORE that crap, but now years later I am alright.

Those people at pharma do not care one bit how many people they injure or kill in there pursuit of billions.

Un Information wrote:I feel betrayed by my family members and psychs, I want them all to die. I've lashed out at my family members for many reasons, mainly this.

I suggest channel that energy towards speaking out online or anywhere you can about psychiatry harming people.

I just found this http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+speaks+controversy

And I didn't like that website "autism speaks" pushing Risperdal when I googled: Autism Risperdal

http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/fda-approves-risperdal-treatment-symptoms-associated-autism

Maybe do the The 12 steps of Antipsychiatry

anti-psych/topic97104.html

Un Information wrote:Yes, to stablise my mood-- make me seem less swingy. I don't have psychosis, but at this point I won't be surprised if I end up having it due to the medication.

IMO a poor decision. Most of my psychiatrists have recommended it only for psychosis, and one even going as far as considering it as a potential sleep aid option but never for mood stabilization itself. He/she may have thought you were psychotic even through you weren't, but who knows what they were really thinking.

A common theme I see in psychiatry is try medication and see how it works. Its like a revolving door. If one medication isn't doing it others are tried in succession until something works.

Did you try other meds before and after the Risperdal the first time?

Anti-psychotics do have some powerful and nasty side effects, especially at higher dosages. This is why the bottles come with so many warning inserts because some people do get strong side effects.

I've taken valiun for anxiety, a medication to relax me I think when I was younger. Nothing else.