Letter to the head psychiatrist

Razael wrote:the service leaves me stuck with my current quack unfortunately, don't know if any of them willl get it, tried to get appointemtn with on psychiatrist but the report from the clinic scared him off, maybe I should try another one just financially I am not in good situatioon so that limits what doctors I can see the good ones need to pay up to see them.

Id love to see a voucher program, where everyone can pay a psych they choose. Eliminates the draconian monopoly over everyone.

here's another letter, this is $#%^ I been trying to say the whole time and nobody listening.

The point is that these things really happen that I talk about in the original email, they led to hospiatl admissions and nearly dieing from accuphase, this is horrible for me to have this stuff ignored, it is very important, and they try to make me sound crazy by saying a mere rope was put around my neck by friend in the totally wrong hospital admisison, this isn't good enough....so what maybe nobody would believe me, why not? its possible but the damn shrink can't get out of her head that I was unwell around the time, these things led to sleep deprivation and problems with family worrying about my sleep willing me to become unwell, and since I forgot about the incidents the hospitals around the time were treaating me very inhumanly when I just needed space from my family, things could have turned out a lot different for me if I was taken somwhere and treaated with respect, I had a lot to offer, maybe I would have got back into university, my family at one point in the crisis besides being stunned that I could read their minds when they were worried about me and talking about me, they even considered something like MENSA for me, I had a lot to offer, my breakdowns were merelyaligning me to higher powers then myself, much potential to evolve and become better but seriously failed me sending me to the shrinks once my slleep deprivation got out of hand.....isn't it obvious, the psychaitrists are blind, sleep deprivation can send people to bad places I know it for a fact thats all I need to do to stay well is look after my sleeping...so I have a compplaint that this has been disagreed with for over 3years and ignored, its more then a symptom if you quacks were so clever.


Subject: RE: FAlse memories? of accuphase reaction. This is important to clarify.
Date: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 14:35:45 +1000

and I heard you can appear euthymic whilst still being anhedonia...the anhedonia is from the psych drugs I have so much joy with having a mind that works when refusing treatmetns a while back, it was a really good feeling, I like to rediscover some good feelings with a massive reduction in dose, on basically nothing there is not a chance in hell that I would become unwell, that rely's on sleep deprivation anyway and over excitemetn with ahving dopamine again could lead me to stay up late with happy feelings agian, but I will know tommorrow be even better if I not stay up too late, plus my girlfreind stays with me in my sleep and its good feeling to sleep, my guides are all for good sleeping its well known fact.



Dear Sean

I am copying this email to the complaints commissioner. I was very upset in reading last night that accuphase is not listed as an allergy in my "Treatment summary" It upsets me to to bring up the traumatic memores that are being denied as false memores or delusions or something, its horrible I know my memories are real but you just think because I was apparently unwell for times I just needed some sleep and space from family I was living with, a lot has changed. It is also upsetting me that you probablly pay no attention to this email or project onto it some idea about a schizophrenic you knew once. Its not good for me this situation of being gravely misunderstood, It is obvious that this incident with accupase or maxelon given to me deliberately in hospital by rapists and so forth I reembered in 2012, the ECT given to me when waking up from the tongue down the windpipe business where they had to cut my shirt off perhaps to use paddles, the nurse could detect a weak pulse which hbrought me back from an out of body experience...they gave me ECT or one of them did I remember the mouthgurard why else would someone put a mouthguard in...my abiltiy to remember these times extends to when I was drugged an in coma but I wonder actually whetheer I was awake when recieving the ECT but passed out from brain damage...I forgot about this and other memories it hurts that nobody believes me.... I talked abbout it in a post to a forum I occupy I will just copy and past as can't be bothered going into the incidents again. I guess the hospital admission is the first one in 2004 I think, Lucinda got records for the admission I think it was from but never got back to me but is not listing accuphase as an allergy, very serious allergy that caused my PTSD of psych wards that I suffered in the ED and when the ambulence suggested I go to hospital for my "paranoia".

but before I do I will comment on how talking about these memories is likely that I would go on topic jumps and tangents to other stuff related to it, or probably the psychiatrist is in denial about it and disagrees and isn't really listening just preoccupied with symptoms and making out that all these memories from times I was admitted to hospital for family reactions to the troubles state of being hung in a nNOOSE and a very dangerous man was involved with it and went to jail for soething else, I found out in the bar by a girl thart approached me as she knew I had met her ex boyfriend and she was too scared to tell me what he did to go to jail and I had forgotten about the hanging incident but felllt paranoid tahat someone was after me and had somatic hallucinations that I felt like I knew what it was like to be hung in a noose that I had a problem rellating it to trauma of my cousins suicide that left me in a bad state. and the clinic has ignored me and put this reference to someone "putting a rope around my neck" against the totally worng hosptail admission, yeah I had problems with people I considered to be freinds but this fears was about something else maybe it should be obbvious then work on it..besisdes I kknow how to deal with this stuff if I get my act right, pity getting my act right with taoism and chigung was too late once the police came around coz the disgusting paramedics wanted me to get psych evaluation and I didnt want to go back to hopstiall they scared me and thats the only reason I accepted two of the four benzo's given to me or you think I am still preoccupied with the benzo's given to me in the ED like migual seemed to think..If you read my compalint letter you'd see that these drugs really disturbed my balance and are not good to wake up after passing out with paradoxical agitation about my deficited state, my bbrain didn't work properly anymore and led to all the symptoms migual thought to put me into hospital. Of course I would appear paranoid those memories of my accuphase reaction were still fresh

So get my drift taht the accuphase allergy is real, same thing happens when I take maxellon and its wrong that you not see taht the hosptiall covered up the whole thing to cover up the rapists probably, not good that rapists get off the hook and you think its made up becuase I can remember what was happening even though the drugs had me pass out, I was never fully out but anyway I have woken from being passed out from drugs and rproved it in 2011 so why is it not considered that this ###$ me up its seriously wrong of you and this complaint hasn't been resolved yet even though I have brought up as much information to the psychiatrist in appointmetn its too easy for them to be cruel and say I am disorgansied when trying to get their attention to all my compllaints and explain things from a very difficult perspective drugged out I better to be able to work through my issues by myslef without burdened of my evolution throuugh life, and doubt your open to hearing anything about it have already tried and you just think its a sign of schizophrenia.

Here is what I wrote in the forum about the whole accuphase thing, and get my drift your thinking it is false memories is disturbing me so I not as good maybe with writing at the moment.

.........about my allergy to accuphase not being metnioned on my treatmetn summary, I have shared before about it my tongue contorted down my windpipe and needed to be ressucitated, the hopietal didn't record any of it, i had out of body experience even, but the psychiatrist thinks I am making it up just because the dodgy hosptal staff didn't record it, they also gave me ECT when waking up from it dodgy bastards....

.....thats pretty dodgy and that happened in australia, they think I am making $#%^ up or hallucinated it because I was unwellat the time.

what should I write to the head psychiatrist? its a problem for me made me feel unhappy and unsettled thinking that they think this $#%^ is made up, it upsets me.

I had other memories that were real too like being hung in a noose I got myslef out and treated it like a joke and it lead to crissis in family I forgot about it and thought somatic hallucinations that I felt what its like to be hung in noose...one of the guys involved whent to jail I found out visiting the pub a girl approached me claiming to be his ex and reckons that I met her ex that went to jail for something she didn't even wanna tell me about but said I am ok now, he was after me I reckon I picked up on it thought someone out to kill me, maybe covering up the hanging incident...that $#%^ really happened but these quacks pay no attention to it, it led to hosptial admission

car accident too that led into hapsit al admission and i blanked out from shock forgot about it untill I started remembering in 2011 that led to sleep deprivatioon and trouble with intrusive thoughts about the acccidednts...passing a carivan drunk driver I was in the front checking the speedo trying to pass with a truck coming tried to get him to pull out of passing his car didn't have enough power abbout to hit the truck he let go of the steering wheel like a punce about to die so I grabbed the wheel and avoided the near head on collisison that cut off the carivan or they slammed on the brakes equally dumb and jacknifed hit the truck and killed a family...we drove home at about 70kmph to alert authorities of what happened but our involvement was covered up, and not ever spoken of, pretty twisteed to be involved in when we did the wrong thing and should be brought to justice

It hurts me taht these things are ignored but these memories were about my only problem that led to more slleep deprivation and problems with sleep and waking with panic thinking I was dieing, drowning sensations and panic attacks not good I wanted help but instead they sore I was desluded for my knowledge of superiour recovery if left to get some sleep...benzo's ###$ me up and they sent me to psych ward. Its even hard to discuss this stuff to a shrink without being disorganised and topic jumping, cold hearted basteards this stuff really happened but as if I am going to pro9ve it, they are doing a lot of damage to me by failing to listen to this stuff..nobody listens everyone thinks all these slices with death is some kind of fantasy or something I know this $#%^ really happened spent a lot of time remembering details around that time.like they knew where they were going to bury me and how the driver of the truck thought the car went through the truck...funny thing is with the accident a book appeared in the back that nobody knew who it belongeed to, it contained some other symbolic lettering from another part of the world, dunno where it ended up I regret deeply not keeping hold of it and showing more interest, but was in shock from the accident and served as a remider...interesting that this stuff led to hosptial admissions when my family got worried and triggered more problems then I needed, just needed space from them but the hanging led me to nearly dieing in psych ward and that too was covered up, and easily made out to be delusions or something and reason to increase my medication if I was worreid and upset about how the service is treatieng me about very real stuff, my memory of my life is very good and there is spiritaul reason for these memoreis like soul retreival and necessary for finding my higher slef and fully adress my life and existance, just I got into trouble with it and probably needed to be treated decently when getting sleep deprived and ###$ up on benzo'z given to me when I too scared of hapitals to think i needed to be compliant or suffer the acuphase treatmetn that might kill me so I accept the benzo's so stupidly, but I sure as hell wantied informed consent when I realised these druggs were gonna ###$ me up and I was right, I have lost so much since 2011 and subsequent CTO I was put under ###$ my life up thats what it did.
Sincerely

Razael

PS Migual said my tongue might get swollen from a drug, then the service took it seriously years later now its taken off my treatmetn summary under allergies, but you mention prolactin that is about the same problem I have with all antipsychotic, I am allergic to all antipsychotics my prolactin I would guarantee would be highon the current dose and I would like a bit more sex drive, maybe my girlfirend will make me feel better about these memories you are forcing me to talk about over and over again.

It feels like $#%^ that they continue to ignroe stuff like that, I copied in the complaints commissioner, they are interested in helping me out...this stuff was what I wanted justice for before I even wound up in psychiatry again, but nobody believes me...this stuff really happened I wasn't sick and hallucinating it, thats not possible I never hallucinated anything, didn't dream them either, I know they happened so why is it so hard to believe? does it sound far fetched or something...hope the complaints commissioner gets my email and can help with that aspect of things, at least they can read and aren't too busy thinking its some schizophrenic thing that I have written, i think I know what they do to my emails.