Lost it with Anti-psych philosophies

As I said, I lost my anti-psych repetoir and rants, stuff I used to be able to think about, I have suffered from medication increases and it has effectively shut me up, although working on a complaint letter struggling with rtrying to write about my experience in the drugged out state and what I have lost from treatmetn that I wasnt to get back into the letter endedd up 23pages long ...I wanna get back into taoism but its stupid to even consider when On antipsychotic blocking all the normal stuff.

As I said, I had med increases that led me to refusing and a rehospitalisation and I was really dumb about what I told the psychiatrists and end up with a bad situation from opening up about certain things that were a secret for a long while and involves friends I have in my head when I am off antipsychotic, one of mine was a celebrity and she released a song on the radio and I was excited about it and sore it as a sign.

Nothing much interesting happening.....thought I wouldn't write in my old thread because there is stuff I wanna leave behind from that, I was stupid and opened up about secrets, its bad for my image I loose freinds over my crazy $#%^ I should be opening up about it like a fool. it become a hbit now I talk all about it in my complaint letters, maybe some of it could be good $#%^, but I am being blocked from going their like the meeting Extraterrestrials and going on interdimentional journey, worst wass opening up about clebrity crush she used to appear to me, I ###$ up mostly coz I told pscyc hiatrists about it, and they think its psychotic, but I am cool with it, I like it. antipscyhoatic block all my friends on the astral, like usually I am friends with the archangels, they actually provided me with some of my most meaning ful of experiencces.

NOt sure where my life is going, I am dead on these treatmetns, not astral projecting into heaven and accrosss the cosmos....nobody believes me, an old friend that I had a text arguement with said I am a loser and only travel in my head, she doesn't like my gifts for discovering life in the universe, everyone thinks I am crazy.....what has psychiatry done? its ruined my image and what I have going for me, now I am just about inner worlds that entertain me and psychiatry ruling my life to get less enjoyment from inner worlds.

I can't even beging to describe it. the 100mg of haliperidole a fortnight make sure I can't use my head and think about the situation.....can't even describe being held captive. duh won't even try to describe it.......my head is ###$ and I just wanted to say that I lost my edge when it comes to antipsychiatry....maybe I never that good at it, and hardly made any sense but at least I tried to talk a bout my experiencce.

My psychiatrist thinks I am a liar. she told me wonder what that means, she ignores everything I say and talks to my case manager instead of me in the appointment..........when she debriefs herself I pick up on it and feel suicidal together with the ongoing effects of a life on antipsychoatic and telepthic $#%^ with the treatmetn providor athat has it all wrong....funny though that I end up with suicidal imagery when dealing with her in my head just after the appointment, she has made me crazy in the past and I just went with it, psychiatrist and case managers and nurses dealing with you in the community can make you sick in the head to fulfill their pride with their jobs over treating you as an individual,, they treat you as sick and in thier heads they project sickness and schizophrenia and $#%^ like I found when I refused treatmetn recently after conversation with a nurse trying to get me to come in for injjection, had him on my mind like I know what is going on and started feeling sick, or maybe its the treat of the pscyhiatric ward, but I knew it was a false kinda sick it wasn't me it was them trying to make me realise taht I am schizophrenic and need the treatmetn, through their will they made my head sick.....lucky its not always like that, I hate the psychiatrist she is a cow ignorant to the brim and doesn't ev en talk to me, she thinks she knows me but I think I need to change psycchiatrists, she makes me feel suicidal, I changed my case manager who had that effect on me.

that $#%^ about feeling the $#%^ from the treatmetn providors that would have me ###$ in the head, I sense it but it never really takes hold but sometimes their projections get me onto something I can work with......last time the psychiatrist made me suicidal I relied on bringing her attention to the place in the interdimentional journeying I did, I was introduced to a place where the psychiatrists would be evaluated and meet witha god, I traveled beyond to interdimentional god that has them all in cages and dose something trippy and puts them all on a screen, so when she making me suicidal I bringing her attention up heare and her image in the sccreen shcnged and she began to project out of it, but she's a mess and crippled....not sure what this really represents...I since lost some connection to this place but will rely on it next debreifing session she does. now a few of the psychiatrists in theis world seem to be going through stag3s of becoming aware of their presence here.

I did some research on astral lovers and was even thinking of sharing it with the head psychiatrist, plenty of normal people havve astral lovers...energetic bliss that they might even not want physical relationship ever again and they aren't having to deal with psychiatry...look up "Astral lover" on google to see how common it is

I talked about the clebrity thing in my past thread RAziels thread , just it went places that I regret and want to leave it behind....I hae since had another lover appear to me when I wanted to see her in my visions but I just think she is the celbrity coz I was used to it always being about her she looks the same from limited perception of her...a goddess appeared to me a being of great lighht and another potential lover....

I am all about lovers now and has me listening to the KKaty Perry album some good songs like legendary lovers where she talks about seeing a lover with her third eye...I lost it with her now officially speaking just wanting to remember the good times when I was functioning astrally, however that is spelt

I want to have astral visitors but ends up heaps of other $#%^ arives to destroy me or I ###$ myslef up, its disturbing, but I would like it if just the astral lovers try to fix me up and help me out of this astral coma, I suppose that could be uncomfortable coming out of it.

Hardly anybody reads my posts but I wanted to share anyway

I put this here because I thought starting a new thread about astral lovers would be wrong.

Half the reason I lost it with my complaints I am trying to formulate to get a break from psychiatry, I talk about these experiences with a bit more grace...I am slooppy these days hey cheze.

so listening to the album which involves darkhorse like indulgence trying to feel some goodness with my memories of a fantastic astral love affair, can hardly remember it but I remember several lovers arriving at the same time thriving off sharing of intense sexual energy...I am blocked of this edge now so nothing to offer an astral lover these days, am blocked of good visions on antipsychotic just sometimes stuff is triggered to see heaps of visitors all at once when I smoke weed.

I am a mess..feel like starting a new topic about my marijuana addiction....I just in bed so much and can haaradly write anymore, its really difficult...not maing sense or its something to do with writing on psych forum....it has become boring for me i hardly read anything just come on and tyoe sometimes.....

You make a lot of sense and do write well. I get your not in a good place, and I get that psychiatrists aren't helping you. Respect from my part. Dont prosecute your self of what you told them. They can get a person to say anything they wish, and punish a person any way they deem possible. When your walking into a mental health facility your walking into a bee hive. They are the ones worth of question not yourself. I don't see any problem with you having friends inside your head. Its ok if you do, and you were just speaking your mind which is necessary in psychotherapy that heals.

To me it sounds like your treatment is toxic. Im sorry you are going through this. Those treating you have all the wrong attitudes. If they only knew how much pain, fear, and frustration you are in they would be a lot more supportive. Its unfortunate they are not, which isnt helping you. I don't believe you are defective, but they are treating you as so which is wrong. "they project sickness and schizophrenia", I agree with that 100%. I know this so well. Its this that's setting you back, and Im sorry your going through this. I really am. Nobody gets better being treated as though they will never get better.

I hope you find a way to heal and get better. I think this forum is helping you with that. I really think you should find anther psychiatrist. There are good ones out in those world that do help genuinely acknowledging the patient. I think respect moves mountains for people, respect heals. I do believe that with the right psychiatrist you will make huge progress. So far your threads are well structured asking to be heard. I think its this gift that will help. Its to bad your current psychiatrist is harassing you for that.

Keep sharing what you need to.

Good luck, hope my input helps.

I have the same problem

thanks for the sentiment riccola, thanks for understanding.

while I was on the bus I could think sex with astral, so not completely ruined makes me want more of it but I not much good on antipsychotic, maybe I am a bit awkward with it.

-- Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:06 pm --

wachiturro wrote:I have the same problem

did you have med increases because antipsychotiatry is a symptom of schizophrenia to them.

hurts to be blunted like this.

-- Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:08 pm --

you don'tm mean the astral lovers as the problem..

I thought more people on psych forums would know what I am talking about, astral sex rocks

[quote="Razael":#######1]thanks for the sentiment riccola, thanks for understanding.

while I was on the bus I could think sex with astral, so not completely ruined makes me want more of it but I not much good on antipsychotic, maybe I am a bit awkward with it.

-- Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:06 pm --

[quote="wachiturro":#######1]I have the same problem[/quote:#######1]

did you have med increases because antipsychotiatry is a symptom of schizophrenia to them.

hurts to be blunted like this.

-- Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:08 pm --

you don'tm mean the astral lovers as the problem..

I thought more people on psych forums would know what I am talking about, astral sex rocks[/quote:#######1]


Welcome!

Sounds like the anti psychotics aren't helping you with that part. They are powerful drugs no doubt.

I get the sense you that when they blunt you, you begin living in your head more. Obviously they are doing the opposite of what they say they are. Do you see it that way too?

BTW, Ive never tried Astral sex, but I will read up on it. Im always willing to try new stuff.

It's good to hear from you Razael. I'm sorry things are so difficult for you and that your medication is causing you difficulties in the astral projection that I know means a lot to you. ((hugs))

hey cheez all I listen too now every day like a religion is Katy Perry Prism, I get off on it even though it might be why she started coming back but transformed into a mostor I cant discribe too gruesome but I havve been learning from a book not to fear and then when she was the monstor she actually looked cute and hit a soft spot It was supposedly her true form ut I think she playing a trick on me, I had it with my head that she would try to eat me even after this she still looked cute when this way, she simultaneaously showed me that she is still like normal too..same think with the fishheaded goddess who wanted me as a lover when she appeared in my bed I was still drawn to how cute these gruesome creatures were...the fishead goddeass the other night actually tried to let me know taht she can appear as a human too , so I was fooled not getting into it. pity...dunno why she appealed to me when I sore all the goddess's I had interested in me back in 2012 they didn't kknow how to help me was failing fast from sleep deprivation and not able to sleep in mmy bed.

nOt really sure what else to talk about, having difficulty sharing with you the events of the other night after reading an amazing book about this guys ascending journey through the galaxy very driven by love....mine was more of an expansions of consciousness...... Its totally worth joining his facebook page to download the book. http://keystoimmortality.com/e-books/fr ... ant-world/ I think it would help anyone overcome chaos astrally and to not fear the astral like I do when I am on antipsychotic...it explains how maybe I am limited to 4th dimetional astral realm on ant9iipsychotic and am victim to the bad $#%^ that hasn't ascentded in higher vibrations...I still get really good stuff visit me...

but more to the point I had a really good message to share but the browser crashed and I lost it....these star beings he talks about in his book I think healed my DNA from what the antipscyhotic has done for my path to immortality...he talks about ascension where you get so high that you emit rainbows and vanish to explaore the unvierse or galaxy

I gathered from this book that the life I met was from our own galaxy and I got closer to the central sun maybbe in our own galaxy, i not sure.

I know I haven't done this book justice for what it could do to read it....I talked in my lost one about meeting him astrally I met the guy who wrote the book, he showed me some things and I showed him what he identified as hyperspace from my journey above the earth...infact he tried to help teleport me for my lover I have here, would be lover anyway she got me into a bbed the first time I ever sore her and told me I was the first mortal to have gotten so far..it was very tranformational being here..pity my journey had it that I didn't just stay with her from the first time I ever encountered hyperspace I went too high and got into trouble and never really focused on what was on offer to truly live in hyperspace, maybe I couldn't handle not living in 3D anymore.

hope it was worth reading...i struggled to make up for what I did the first time

My fault I had 900+tabs open