i need help please

For the past 7 years I feel like there is something wrong with my brain. I've been diagnosed as OCD, Bipolar, Depression, ADHD, prodromal psychosis in the past but the only one that stuck now is OCD and depression. I know for sure I have OCD and I did have depression but I feel like I can be happy at any instant. I can't focus on anything, I have racing thoughts, I can't have meaningful conversations. and I feel like I can't see the colour in the world. My mind feels blocked. I realized this when smoking pot because smoking pot seemed to open my mind to what actually is around me and experience the details of life. Everything feels rigid, false, and the same in my mind. Im always restless, i feel like i have cognitive impairment, i can't control what i say or do a lot. Even as I write this paragraph, my mind when high would make changes based on rational thoughts of writing structure and whatever so it portrays what I'm actually feeling. i feel like my full mental potential is blocked. I'm never consistent in anything like the achievements in my life feel random. i can't experience or be in the present moment around me. I'm always tired. too lazy to follow writing etiquette. lack of eye contact in conversations can't understand what people are saying to me so i just smile and nod or always agree with them. can't pick up social ettiqute cues when I'm high i can notice them. i stare blankly a lot and disassociate from whats around me. i have no personality or common sense. please I'm hopeless.

What meds do you take?

oblivousboy wrote:For the past 7 years I feel like there is something wrong with my brain. I've been diagnosed as OCD, Bipolar, Depression, ADHD, prodromal psychosis in the past but the only one that stuck now is OCD and depression. I know for sure I have OCD and I did have depression but I feel like I can be happy at any instant. I can't focus on anything, I have racing thoughts, I can't have meaningful conversations. and I feel like I can't see the colour in the world. My mind feels blocked. I realized this when smoking pot because smoking pot seemed to open my mind to what actually is around me and experience the details of life. Everything feels rigid, false, and the same in my mind. Im always restless, i feel like i have cognitive impairment, i can't control what i say or do a lot. Even as I write this paragraph, my mind when high would make changes based on rational thoughts of writing structure and whatever so it portrays what I'm actually feeling. i feel like my full mental potential is blocked. I'm never consistent in anything like the achievements in my life feel random. i can't experience or be in the present moment around me. I'm always tired. too lazy to follow writing etiquette. lack of eye contact in conversations can't understand what people are saying to me so i just smile and nod or always agree with them. can't pick up social ettiqute cues when I'm high i can notice them. i stare blankly a lot and disassociate from whats around me. i have no personality or common sense. please I'm hopeless.

I am no doctor, but this doesn't sound like OCD at all. At all.

It does sound like you are struggling at the moment. Perhaps exploring more why using marijuana seems to help with these symptoms and talking to your doctor about them. It may be that this information can be helpful to your doctor in understanding what is going on for you if they are able to look at the chemical changes that occur whenusing marijuana. Could it be perhaps that using marijuana reduces you anxiety which allows you to do these things (like make eye contact)?

I'm taking olanzapine, effexor, trazodone and zoloft… im at the 5th week mark and they don't seem to have helped at all. i feel like I've gotten worse actually…

cheze this is a good suggestion.

i feel like what bothers me the most is some sort of cognitive decline (memory, thinking speed, rational thinking related) and this inability to be aware of what i do or say, and the things around me, details, the colour of life. i was thinking maybe its brain fog. i feel like i have this automatic tendency to go in my head.

also are there tics relating to thinking?

i just blurt out every thought that comes to my head and can't rationalize what the proper thing to say or do.

-- Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:50 am --

I'm taking olanzapine, effexor, trazodone and zoloft… im at the 5th week mark and they don't seem to have helped at all. i feel like I've gotten worse actually…

cheze this is a good suggestion.

i feel like what bothers me the most is some sort of cognitive decline (memory, thinking speed, rational thinking related) and this inability to be aware of what i do or say, and the things around me, details, the colour of life. i was thinking maybe its brain fog. i feel like i have this automatic tendency to go in my head.

also are there tics relating to thinking?

i just blurt out every thought that comes to my head and can't rationalize what the proper thing to say or do.

also the eye contact isn't just because of anxiety but its like my brain can't input the info and output it with proper eye contact creativity and understanding. i don't pick up any info at all from the speaker other than segments of wat they say

oblivousboy wrote:also the eye contact isn't just because of anxiety but its like my brain can't input the info and output it with proper eye contact creativity and understanding. i don't pick up any info at all from the speaker other than segments of wat they say

Have you tried meditating? Sounds like you are under a lot of emotional stress.
Meditation just might help, it calms the mind and emotions.
as for not making eye contact, you might be judging the person you are looking at, it makes you uncomfortable and keeps you from hearing what the person is saying, all you are aware of is yourself.

There is a stress disc on amazon, called" how your mind can make you well" it is a meditation,. Give it a try. I really wish you luck. I have once been in your shoes. Your stress comes from childhood experiences and you may need to forgive those experiences before you can overcome your problem.
Louise

oblivousboy wrote:I'm taking olanzapine

I hate that drug. I was impossible to feel any pleasure from life on that crap then the withdrawal reactions were a trip to hell. The world would be a better place if olanzapine - zyprexa was banned .

oblivousboy wrote:I'm taking olanzapine, effexor, trazodone and zoloft… im at the 5th week mark and they don't seem to have helped at all. i feel like I've gotten worse actually…

Zyprexa and 3 different anti depressants, your stepping on the gas and break at the same time.

From the limited information I think your doctor is reckless, clueless and dangerous.

How long have you been messing with psychiatry ?

Actually that combination of medications works well for many people, and there is nothing about them that is biochemically or in any other way, putting on brakes and gas at the same time. You might need to go back and review what those medications actually do.

The key with that combo is that each one addresses different symptoms.

If it's not working optimally for (the person who mentioned it) then some adjusting or changes may be needed - tell your doc if you are having any issues with it. Some stuff just goes away on its own as a person's body gets used to the medication (a couple weeks, usually) and others you actually have to make some adjustments for.

I can go into detail in a bit, right now I have to catch a llama.

smithywise wrote:Actually that combination of medications works well for many people, and there is nothing about them that is biochemically or in any other way, putting on brakes and gas at the same time. You might need to go back and review what those medications actually do.

The key with that combo is that each one addresses different symptoms.

If it's not working optimally for (the person who mentioned it) then some adjusting or changes may be needed - tell your doc if you are having any issues with it. Some stuff just goes away on its own as a person's body gets used to the medication (a couple weeks, usually) and others you actually have to make some adjustments for.

I can go into detail in a bit, right now I have to catch a llama.

Ohh another believer.
Copy Cat is right, SSRIs tend to have an upper effect while olanzapine is a downer.
Hence the gas and brake analogy.
I agree his doctor is a nincompoop