Brain damage?

Hello, I am posting here (i am not sure where to put this!).

So, I have a question involving medication and 'brain damage' and maybe if anyone else has experienced this. Here's the story:

About 4 years ago, I saw a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. We talked and she came to conclusion that on top of depression/anxiety, I was also ADHD (which I didn't fully agree with, but I figured she was the professional, so I went with it). So, I was prescribed 20mg Adderall and I think 200 Zoloft. Zoloft made me sleep all the time, so she switched to Paxil, and upped my adderall to 2 20mg a day. Over the course of about 2 and a half years, I was on 10 different meds at different times with some being taken at the same time, usually a mood stabilizer coupled with an anti anxiety/depression pill. The only constant was the adderall, 2 20mg a day (I think at one point it was 2 30mg a day, but not for long). By the end of my medication roulette I was on Effexor 150mg and still the adderall. I moved back to my home town because I got fired from my job and flunked out of college (I had no idea how out of it I was, kinda sad, in retrospect). Near the end, I would talk to myself in a field and was convinced I could feel 'Mother Earth' guiding me. I can't believe I am telling this story.

So, I pretty much got off all the meds cold turkey, went through some insane withdrawals. It's been about a year and a half since I have been off of them. I basically became (and still am) a hermit, although I have always been an 'alone time' kind of person. The first few months I was petrified of leaving the house, basically have to interact with people, be seen by people. Thankfully, that is dwindling, I got a job about 6 months ago and still working there. The thing I am concerned about is my memory and my basic functioning in society. My social skills have been reduced to that of a shy 4th grader. I seem to have lost the ability and even the drive (out of sheer frustration) to socialize at all. This could be chalked up to depression, though, and overall apathy. i have always been shy/introverted, but this is ridiculous. I Forget things all the time. It is hard to focus on people when they are speaking to me, and I can be staring right at them and not hear a word they say. At work (I have no idea why they haven't fired me), I forget the simplest things, the basic duties. I have been there doing the same things for 6 months, why do I still forget these things? I daydream constantly, uncontrollably. If you have ever read or watched 'A Scanner Darkly,' any of those 'split brain' people is how I am feeling (without the drugs). I basically feel like I regressed back to a 9 year old, mentally and developmentally.

So I guess I was wondering if anyone else had experienced anything similar with getting off meds. Or, maybe if anyone knows anything about the effect of being 'mis-treated' with psychiatric drugs. I think my brain blew a gasket.

Thank you

I felt great and alive when I got off meds.
It takes time for the brain to adjust from the chemical imbalance they produce.

Its funny, a shrink will tell you that your problem is a chemical imbalance when the truth is the drugs they give you is what produces a chemical imbalance.

Yeah, I think for the most part I am feeling better. I think I have always been sort of bad at working with money, so that explains the job situation. My brain just needs some exercise, especially socially. AAHH, brain, I am sorry for doubting you for so long

I have blown gaskets in my brain numerous times. I am actually surprised I can fully pass myself off as normal during a conversation and I am not like Ozzy Osbourne.

Only advice I can give you is fish oil, meditation and exercise.

Great... I must have REALLY damaged my brain then. Do you have any physical symptoms?

I forget things, too, but I'm still drinking quite a bit of alcohol which causes temporary and permanent brain damage.

I hope you're doing better. That's great you found a job. I find it really difficult to get up the motivation to do almost anything...

When you look at someone and not hear a word they say, is that not a sign of ADHD? That's what I read... I do that sometimes. That is part of the reason I took ADHD meds to begin with. I just couldn't pay attention in conversations.

Did you take yours as prescribed? Your medications? I didn't...