Forced Psychiatric Treatment or Care

cursed wrote:ok, i havn't read thoroughly all the postings in this thread. just skimmed briefly over them and cought a few lines and words and expressions. i will THOROUGHLY agree being sent against one's will to the insane asylum is WORSE than going to jail. i'll go over my experience.

i have a seizure problem. (ECT without the machine. my brain does it to itself) the next thing i know, i wake up on the floor, my head is spinning, the floor is moving. i tell my friends at the time. they freak out and pounce on me to go to the er. i finally give in as i know there is really nothing the er can do AFTER i wake up from a seizure.

in the er, i give them my problems etc. next thing i know, they are taking blood and pee samples and send a guard over to my room. i'm confused as hell and have no clue why or whats happening? after the test results come back, everything is 'normal'. but why the hell is there a guard there, and all the nurses with that paranoid face?!?!

finally, a 'counselor' is at my bedside. she talks to me and asks me about my life and etc. she manages to manipulate me into explaining how years and years BEFORE that night, i had tried suicide in how many different ways. that was years ago. nothing in referance to that night and me having seizures that weren't very fun and royally f'd me up.

next thing i know, she tells me, this is all very urgent and out of my authority, i need to call my boss the shrink and discuss matters with him. a few minutes laters, she comes back and tells me i have to be taken to the insane asylum (mental hospital as she called it) and be evaluated and kept under watch.

for me personally, being admitted to the insane asylum was my biggest fear...and look what was happening. my fear, coming to pass.

i was royally ass mother ######6 pissed off with serring anger and fumes exiting my ears....everything that COULD go wrong in the insane asylum, did. i was admitted on a thursday night. the next four days were pure misery. for me, i was even MORE mentally traumatized than 'helped' and made my fear of hospitals and medical practicioners, worse.

- the shrink that was 'assigned' to me friday, didn't work weekends. the weekend shrink who has 'authority' to dismiss patients, wasn't as high ranking and his authority was only if he were 200% sure. he flat out told me, he's not sure and wanted to keep me there longer for 'observation'.

- everyday one did have to see their assigned shrink. except, it should be noted, that you only see your shrink for 5-10 minutes max. the shrink meetings is really only to communicate to you they communicated to the on-site psycho-therapist if its 'ok' or not.

- to be discharged, i had to litterally 'kiss up' to their asses. make a complete bull $#%^ 'positive thinking' approach list and essay. list people and numbers to call, and what to do whenever what happens. basically appearing as the remorseful, repentful, fully redeemed soul who has a passion for life and practically having to become almost charasmatic to their faces.

- all one's civil human rights are removed. and i am serious about this one. when you are first admited, they strip you head to toe. they examine all your clothes and note any body abnormalities. you have to remove all you're jewelry even regardless of religious preferance. any other wardrobe items are removed if thought to be 'threatening'. if your pants don't have a zipper and instead are 'zipped' with a string weave tie, that string is removed. if your shirt has metal loose decoration, it will be cut off your shirt. and so on. so everyone walks in socks, no shoes. belts are removed. and girls, you're not allowed to wear a bra. yeah, a bra is life threatening deadly weapon, better tell the airports that so women can't wear bras anymore when traveling. its a deadly weapon you know. you're contact with ANYONE 'outside' the insane asylum is cut off. you are not allowed to contact ANYONE for ANY REASON WITHOUT 'permission'. so you need to fill out forms who you want to contact and who is 'ok' for you to contact. they watch and monitor your EVERY action....including....WHEN you go to the bathroom...and, what you passed. you're not allowed to flush the toilet. they got 'concerned' over my digestive problem of not passing ANY bowel movements. umm hello? i have seizures? $#%^ shuts down in my bod sometimes??? not to mention, being in that place and scared (litterally) shitless, i lost my appitite and didn't eat more than a small handfull of food a day. i was too scared and upset to go near the shower. i was harped on that too. that i was 'untidy'. heh, razors are of course, banned, so men nor women were allowed to shave. and, deoderant is banned too. when one DID take a shower, you were monitored and watched and only small soap bars were given. no shampoo, no conditionor. poisonois huh? cameras were everywhere. the cafeteria food, was worse than the dorms. sugar was banned. seasonings were banned. bland was an understatement. more like barfy.

- i wear contacts. you'd think....you'd think...with how many various anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and other pharmaceuticals they have on hand readily available on call in any and all forms that drug exists in, they'd have contact lense solution????? how hard is that?!?!?!?! the closest they could do was regular saline solution. salt water. it almost dried out my contacts.

- women. tampons and maxi pads are banned. you on your period? suffer.

- they have to take you're blood pressure at 4:30/5am in the morning. i was still recovering from a mega gran mal from several days ago. that was stress #1. stress #2, hell if i was gona be able to 'rest' myself at that ######6 place and sleep with ease. the most sleep i ever got in a night was on average 2-3 hours at MOST. those ###$ heads need to learn and understand, peeps with seizures, need sleep and have their sleep schedule undisturbed. i was getting closer and closer to almost collapsing there. and even if i did, i can assure you, they don't know enough about the neurology of the brain and what are the possibilities that occur before, during and after a seizure and how a person appears 'insane' when they're going thru one!!!!! waking me up every morning was not a good idea.

- that COMBINED with the beginings of assumptions i can be put on meds like everyone else. i was put on two meds. lamictol and trazadone. the trazadone did very weird ass $#%^ to me. when i asked my neurologist wtf was with the $#%^, he told me it was a more mild form of seizure. i stay 'concious' in apperance while other abnormalities occur. mother ######6 dick $#%^ heads.

- the beds they provided there made the floor look a lot more comfortable and softer to sleep on. my back and hips were hurting badly. i couldn't find a position i could sleep in without pain. (oh by the way, you MUST sleep on your back. sleeping on your side or stomach is not allowed and you are woken up and told to roll over). i told the shrink at the 5 min meeting. they said they would order one of those rollable cushions to add to the bed top. it NEVER showed up. my futon felt like heaven when i got home.

- with how much money that places makes off of everyone who 'treated' there, you'd think they'd at least be able to have a FEW things 'up-to-date'. their computorial database is non-existant. its still on paper. the computers they do have upfront at the desk, don't know what the 'internet' is. they can't access you're medical records from the 'regular' main hospital intown. my files they 'needed' on me to gain a better understanding of my medical condition, didn't arrive till the day before i left. drug allergies at the time were only anti-biotics and i couldn't remember them, but its in my files. hell if i can explain how my brain was damaged a year or so before, and they didn't believe me of what little i said. schmucks.

- they chewed me out for being extremely high alert and 'defensive' as they thought. always verbally responding with a philosophical argument to try and make a point they were wrong in perception in how many things. they thought i was threatening them. no life threats were EVER made nor mentioned. somehow i had put the fear in them.

- i TRIED to legally file a dispute to a judge that the idiots had me incarcerated under a great misconception them thinking my seizures were actually suicide attempts. i got the paperwork back and a 'decision' was made before it ever reached the judge. i couldn't even reach legal authorities.



so yeah, my life was put through hell and misery. boy did i ever feel physically and mentally violated. and by violated, i equivalate it to being raped, molested, assaulted, harassed. what did i 'learn' from being in the insane asylum? how to avoid ever going back. make sure one repeats clear as possible over and over again, to any and ALL 'legal' authorities if you're in a situation they think you might go 'psycho' on them, you're NOT trying to kill yourself. you DON'T want to die. drill it as hard into their skulls as you can as often as you need to. the one very single moment or split second one tiny little single DOUBT enters their mind? even if its only a .1% chance (LESS than a single percent) they'll argue they have all the right to lock you up in the insane asylum.

i want revenge. i want ALL the #####& who locked me up and put me through hell, to live in my life of misery and see what its like to wear my shoes. and why i was paranoid to begin with when admited, and made even MORE distrustful of the medical society upon leaving. let their 'bubble' be popped and broken and take a taste of their own medicine...for the rest of their life. sometimes i think being in jail is more 'lighter'...at least you can go outside for the 30-60 min of 'recreation' and have personal items in your cell.