Med-Free Fail

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 when I was 13. As a child my parents argued and slept seperately, but, I can't say I had a bad childhood. At age 9 my best friend died, which is the only tramatic experience I can think of. I do have a theory that switching from catholic school to public school may have caused this disease.

Anyways, I'm currently 22 and was recently med-free for about 5 months. I had really reconstructed my daily routine and I was finally feeling like a Real person again. I fealt sharper and my interests were coming back to me. School was becoming easier. I was actually waking up with energy. Life was becomng meaningful again.. Until, I went away from my daily-routine. The stress became overwhelming, and I became Manic ending up in the psych ward for 10 days..

I am currently depressed and recieving "treatment", also seeing new doctors. My new doctor/therapist really seem to care somewhat, however, I feel as though they just do not understand.

Can there be a way to figure out the cause of these mental disorders through psychoanalysis?
Are lifestyle changes, outlook, and will power actual ways to overcome these devastating illnesses?

- blame society

you're probably just not used to having normal brain without the drugs..... it can be overwhelming I guess........ maybe next time you'll learn something to help deal with the mania, I can only suggest learning mindfullness, I personally learnt a lot about taoism even though its made out to be a delusion since they label me schizophrenic so that everything about me proves the label and thats all the quacks are on about and then blame me for not being able to have a conversation....

try some herbal stuff, Its about the place, you might find ayurvedic herbs are good for moods/.. like ashwagandha gotu kola brahmi .... I had a dream that I gave my angry sister i think it was vacha and she said it helped but that was just a dream I know......I just ranting

I dont think its a complete failure. Stress may have gotten the better of you and crossed your wires a bit.
I think its important to remember to take it easy, take care of your body the best you can with nutritious diet and exersise and avoid stress which can cause an episode. Even with meds the relapse rate is high, but some people only have a couple of episodes in a lifetime, these can be handled with intermittent supportive therapy, for example there are certain protocalls involving the use of standard sedatives (rather than psych drugs) to help the patient sleep as the lack of sleep during a manic episode can be the trigger causing the person to go completly off the rails. (this is observed as a side effect even in "normal" individuals who go on stimulant binges)
When the patient resumes normal functioning they can go back to their regular life, med free.

I think you need to feel it out, it can take a while for your brain to get used to being without meds. But you know yourself. Listen to your instincts. No one knows you better than you.

I had an old friend who had serious epileptic siezures. He was on drugs for a while, but they destroyed his quality of life. Since he only had the siezures 2 to 3 times a year he made the judgement to stop meds and tolerate the siezures and have them treated as they came, rather than being medicated constantly to prevent them. He was frankly happier doing this.

As HaxX stated, It's not a failure. Things happen. There is nothing wrong with choosing to be on medication. A person can still have an anti-psych stance and be on medication. It's about choosing what is best for you at the time. I currently choose to take psychiatric medication. There have been times in my life when this wasn't the case.

ManicDepressedKid13 wrote:Can there be a way to figure out the cause of these mental disorders through psychoanalysis?
Are lifestyle changes, outlook, and will power actual ways to overcome these devastating illnesses?

I personally don't see finding the cause helpful. For many people there doesn't seem to be a direct cause or link. It just happens. I see it more helpful to look at things like, "Ok, this is what I'm dealing with, what am I going to do about it?"

Lifestyle changes, outlook, and will power are some ways to help overcome the effects of mental illness. I don't want anyone to get the idea that they can just overcome emotional distress/mental illness through sheer will power. Everyone must figure out what works for them. For some people, they choose herbal remedies, others may choose chiropractic care, or hypnosis, some may choose drastic diet changes. As Haxx pointed out, some may choose a sleep aid or other psychiatric drugs to treat only specific instances. Others, may choose psychiatric medication for a shorter duration vs lifetime use. Everyone is different. It's about finding what works for you.

ManicDepressedKid13 wrote:I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 when I was 13

"You are better off having a “psychotic” episode in outer Mongolia than in the U.S. Why? Because third-world countries have much better recovery rates for so-called “bipolar” than the United States and other industrialized nations that keep their psychiatric patients “maintained” on the drugs. In the United States, just one “psychotic” episode will almost always land you in psychiatric wasteland for the rest of your life. It is psychiatry itself that created the “chronicity” in so-called “mental illness”. "

ManicDepressedKid13 wrote:The stress became overwhelming, and I became Manic ending up in the psych ward for 10 days..

Brief reactive psychosis, referred to in the DSM IV-TR as "brief psychotic disorder with marked stressor(s)", is the psychiatric term for psychosis which can be triggered by an extremely stressful event in the life of an individual.

Typically such brief psychoses last from a day to a month only, with the delusions, speech disorders and hallucinations then a return to full normal functioning.

http://www.google.com/search?q=brief%20reactive%20psychosis

Cheze2 wrote:A person can still have an anti-psych stance and be on medication.

I agree.

Also check out the mind freedom truth flyer, In this flyer you will find a grid comparing commonly distributed psychiatric misinformation with the more accurate and hopeful picture that corresponds with scientific knowledge.

http://www.mindfreedom.org/truth/truth-flyer-text


I will take something as needed (seroquel) only when needed in the smallest possible dose, 12.5 mg half a pill to sleep. For me the 24/7 maintenance and prevention drugging only lead to withdrawal reactions that looked like the so called bipolar itself when I grew tired of feeling like a zombie all the time and tried to quit.

One more useful link to whats behind maintenance medication. Its called The Latest Mania: Selling Bipolar Disorder

http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pmed.0030185

Thanks for the feeback everyone and interesting reads Copy Cat.

I often wonder how my life would be different If I came out of my first hospitalization without any medication. There has to be better treatment then these horrible places that drug you up and treat you like dirt(not all of them). Imagine being rushed in an ambulance at 13 and having no idea what the hells going on. Being restrained and locked in a padded room was the absolute Worst experience in my Entire Life. They thought I had taken acid or was on some kind of drugs. When we had group counseling we had to say why we were there and when I said idk everybody thought I was lying, including the counseler.

I truly believe that my visions/hallucinations meant something, but the doctors are not interested in helping these problems. This happened because I could Not Sleep. Mania occurs when you can't sleep. To prevent mania I believe I should be managing my moods with a sleeping pill as needed. But, sadly the psychiatrists won't go for this.

Before the meds I was happy, athletic, funny, a bit hyper, and had plenty of friends. I didn't freaking over-think absolutely everything. I feel like these "mood stabalizers" and anti-psychotics I am taking simply just Dumb Me Down, and that's the best way to put it. I second guess myself way too much. I don't think the pills have completely taken my personality, but I do believe they have Changed who I am. I don't know what my True self is anymore..

I try not to dwell on the past and Believe there's always hope. For now I am sticking with the medication until I can make out a better plan. My last episode caused my family too much suffering and I can't financially afford another breakdown. Hopefully, my new pychiatrist will actually work with me unlike the last one..

- faith is what you make it

I was reading the topic on psychiatrists and atheism. Every experience I have had meant something to my faith and connection with God. I start to see signs and it all seems to have meaning. During these mystic experiences I feel like I can travel through the past and visualize the future. The present feels so Real and everything looks so clear. Is really craazy to think this just might be some kind of religious experience or spiritual awakening? While at the CMC they had me stuck in a room for over 7 hrs before getting rushed to the psych ward. It wasn't until I flipped out and they stuck a needle in me that I ended up in the nut house.

Now that I am back on meds my faith is just deteriorating. I now feel like being a religious person will set me off and could have set me off in the beginning, so it's better to just live life and not worry about that stuff.
Believing in an evil does put fear into a person, which can trigger a pychotic episode. So.. maybe it's simply better to believe in nothing.

I'm speculating mania is basically the underlying cause of all mental disorders, to varying degrees. I think schizophrenia and bipolar are more of the trauma induced illnesses. But it's hard to say because often it comes on suddenly, or a person bottles it up and doesn't manage to cope until the delusions surface as a way to release their bottled up torment. Or it could be merely a chemical thing, but I think it's all inter-related. You can't have one part of the equation without the other.

I went off my medication for Bipolar with the approval of my psychiatrist since I was pregnant. It's been about a month, no ADD or Bipolar medication, and I feel fine. There is a new sense of clarity and my vision is sharper, plus I am re-evaluating a lot of my decision making. I lack the imagination to even come up with any kind of grandiose delusion, but I really wish I could be creative because I'm feeling so bored and disillusioned. I feel more a part of reality, and that can be difficult to handle.

If you feel yourself becoming manic in the future, please try the best you can to force yourself to sleep this can be the difference between functioning and being locked up. [mod edit]
In regards to religion the auras experienced by epileptics and the visions of the insane have long shaped human understanding of spirituality. Joan D'Ark and Martin Luther are examples from history. I dont think you are in bad company there.
In our clinical, modern idea of the human expierience of these kind of visions are trivialised, even though they may have huge importance for the party concerned.