The centre cannot Hold: a memoir of my schizophrenia

Hi,
Has anyone read this memoir? The centre cannot hold: a memoir of my schizophrenia? It was a great read. I just finished it. Really good story. What bothers me about it is, the woman who wrote it had been on anti psychotics for years and years and developed breast cancer, continued taking, or changed to zyprexa, then developed ovarian cancer. Im not saying that it definitely did it, but if that were me, id be no where near anti psychotics after the first breast cancer diagnosis. She even mentions it has been linked with breast cancer in her book.
In my experience, getting amenhorea, having breast swelling,breast leakage and breast pains and a huge amount of low reproductive hormones, an out of the roof level of prolactin, from being on palperidone and resperidone, I think theres definitely something to that link b/w anti psychotics and breast cancer.
Does anyone else have any ideas?
Also, read this book, its really interesting.

I was reading an interview on time.come

You were put in a mental hospital against your will. What was that like?

It was horrifying. It's demeaning and debilitating to have choice taken away in general, to not be respected as an autonomous agent. To be put in a hospital is an extreme version of that. You're totally isolated from friends and family, and from your work. Freedom of locomotion is gone; freedom of choice is gone...It causes resentment and anger. I don't say that it's the case that nobody should be ever be hospitalized against their will, but I think that we should really study ways to help people seek the treatment that would be best for them. One of the things that forcibly hospitalizing people does is deter them from seeking help in the future.

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0 ... 92,00.html

I was stuck in a crooked psych hospital for weeks , they claimed I was suicidal and was I refusing a nasty medication for a condition I didn't have. My reaction to the mistreatment (forced injection threats- 'pharma-rape' *violence* ) was taken as a symptom of mental illness and used to justify more mistreatment at over $1,000 a day.

One of the worst things I saw and heard was people suffering first episodes and on the telephones with there families, "Please Please help me !" followed by a detailed description of what that nasty abusive psych-'pharma-rape'-prison called a hospital was like and then the desperation rising as misinformed families said things like "you have to stay and get help the you need" then the absolute despair as they continue pleading for help and are rejected. I saw this play out 100 times.

Too many people come in with what ever problem and leave with a new one, PTSD.

Yeah, I've been locked up about 5 times In total. My mother was abusive and liked to ring the mental health team and get me admitted, she'd always say i'd threatened self harm, so that they had to take me in (for a few days each time).
The first time I was there I really needed help. Id witnessed an assault. I was really traumatised. But what did they do? Hold me down and give me injections and put me on a cto so I had to take this awful medication that has destroyed my body.
My mother continued her crusade to lock me up as many times as she could and get me on ctos' and I actually started needing real help for what was going on . For what she was doing. But by then I was so scared of asking for any kind of help because of the treatment I had received. Even now to this day I still want to get some kind of therapy to deal with my mothers abuse, but im still scared to go to one and tell them, because im afraid they wont believe me, how could your own mother do that to u? I get nervous when I try to tell someone and I keep thinking they wont believe me cause that's whats ive been told by psychiatry and my abusive mother for so long.
Also that im traumatised, literally, my body is damaged from psychiatry, and I have PTSD from psychiatry and im scared of telling a therapist that as well, ive tried to see a few and theve just looked at me and im sure they think im mentally ill. None of them validated what I was saying, they just sorta condescended me and asked stuff like are u on meds?
Yeah, anyway so damaging. I've heard similar things in the psych ward, one old lady being taken away for ECT screaming her head off and crying, I don't want to go there please done do this to me. I mean she was like over 80 yrs old. Why does someone that age need to go thru something like ECT. Yes, its awful. I've been one of those ppl trying to ask my dad to get me out of there, he has agreed with me in the past that he dosnt agree with psychiatry and he thinks it dosnt help. But if my mother says I am going to be locked up he has to do what she says, and he always just says "im on mums side", as if its about sides.

Devilock wrote: My mother was abusive and liked to ring the mental health team and get me admitted, she'd always say i'd threatened self harm, so that they had to take me in (for a few days each time).

Have you seen this website ? You might get a laugh cause its so true.

""We at NamiDearest have been highly concerned about our wandering mentally ill loved ones as well as those groups who refer to themselves as “survivors of psychiatry”, particularly those from the “antipsychiatry” factions. True to our cause, we have developed a plan to curtail the unacceptable freedoms bestowed upon these people by the Bill of Rights in the United States Constitution.""

http://www.namidearest.com/

Devilock wrote:Also that im traumatised, literally, my body is damaged from psychiatry, and I have PTSD from psychiatry and im scared of telling a therapist that as well, ive tried to see a few and theve just looked at me and im sure they think im mentally ill. None of them validated what I was saying, they just sorta condescended me and asked stuff like are u on meds?

I also have PTSD , just the sight of someone wearing medical gloves gets my heart racing and into self preservation fight or flight mode, The sight of people wearing those gloves causes flashbacks to those abusive intakes into inpatient psychiatry when I was having panic attacks as a result of there medication and the treatment for that was "psychiatric arrest" taking my cigarettes, wallet, clothing and the naked strip search they call a "skin assessment" I had to go along with due to threats of violence, ie there tie down beds and neuroleptic needles (chemical rape) all behind a locked door.

I would have no problem telling a therapist about this PTSD , an I have. Any condescending talk starts with me pointing out a few things about psychiatry just to set the record straight and make it clear I know the truth.

Examples include statements like : There are no lab tests, brain scans, X-rays, DNA tests or chemical imbalance tests that can verify any mental disorder is a physical condition. This is not to say that people do not get depressed, or that people can’t experience emotional or mental duress, but psychiatry has repackaged these emotions and behaviors as “disease” in order to sell drugs.

Medication may make some people feel better but do not correct a medical problem and but by stating things like the above to a therapist I believe it makes it clear I want therapy not just a disease label and medication management.

Devilock wrote:how could your own mother do that to u

My mother believed the marketing lies of biological psychiatry and believed as I did for a wile and that the nasty results of the medications I was given were symptoms of my psych label. I had these horrible resentments after the hospital cause she would not help get me out and felt like I was being called a lier when I said this is not help its nothing but abuse.

I made my mother watch "The Marketing Of Madness" This film exposes the real insanity in our psychiatric ‘health care’ system: profit-driven drug marketing at the expense of human rights. http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/marketin ... ll-insane/

Devilock wrote:one old lady being taken away for ECT

I saw the doctor that screwed me up and land me in the hospital give ECT to a teenage girl who seemed a little malajusted to me but so what, she was just focused on getting out of the hospital cause she stated over and over "I hate this place" and wanted to goto a friends birthday party. She came back from Ect like a zombie with a "perma-smile" on here face, ya psychiatrists can be and are butchers.

Ive sseen the namidearest website before and found it really funny! God, it is so true. Psychiatry is just a convenient way to get rid of or publicly discredit unwanted relatatives (especially in the case of abuse.) I've seen it In action, abusive psych nurses even after witnessing how horrible and angry my mother was with me, have agreed with her and they worked hand in hand to get me into observation.
Yeah my parents have seen a similar film about the mass marketing of psych drugs and how thers no test for so called mental illness, and my dad agrees (but not in the company of my mother) and my mother says she agrees, shes a naturopath, so she says she dosnt agree with psych medication. But she constantly contradicts herself, by forcing me onto the 3 ctos ive been on. She loves telling ppl my psych label and she says the medicatioin is needed in my case not because I have any symptoms of schizophrenia because I don't, but because im easier to get along with her when im on meds!!
Thanx for the advice about therapists, I think that's what i'll do. Make it really clear I need actual therapy not labeling and drugging. I find it hard to 'click' with most therapists (in my experience anyway), ive had one really good one who was really supportive but she changed jobs. I find the way they react to me a bit condescending. But maybe I need to do as u say, and make it clear I know about psychiatry and give it a bit longer to see if it works out.
Yeah, so many horror stories ive seen come out of psychiatry, but what also I've seen allot of ppl who don't realize their rights are being taken away. Ppl on ctos who believe its their own fault, and while not likeing to side affects, just not questioning whats going on, ;but I guess that's their priotirty and if it works for them, great.
I actually went to a day centre place, not a hospital but a place where allot of so called 'mi' ppl go every day just to hang out and play pool and go bowling and stuff. I tried to make friends, but found I couldn't really relate to them. I didn't meet one single person who was even a bit anti psych or even questioned anything, I asked one of the organisers have u seen many ppl recover from mental illness, as I believed I was in the process of recovery, and they said, no they've never seen anyone recover, but ppl have mangaged their illnesses and ppl that get symptoms still, but they don't really believe in recovery! It was so negative.

Devilock wrote:I tried to make friends, but found I couldn't really relate to them. I didn't meet one single person who was even a bit anti psych or even questioned anything,

I knew alot of people also who don't know the truth about psychiatry, I get a reaction by saying stuff like "ever notice no one ever gets any test for there serotonin levels ? " and "wouldn't it make sense do do a test before prescribing medication, so the right one can be prescribed ? "

When you deprogram people, you force them to think...But I keep them off balance and this forces them to begin questioning, to open their minds. When there mind gets to a certain point, they can see through all the lies that they've been programmed to believe. They realize that they've been duped and they come out of it. Their minds start working again.

Devilock wrote: Ppl on ctos who believe its their own fault, and while not liking side affects, just not questioning whats going on,

I think deprogramming can work for them also if they begin questioning, " why do people accused of crimes have more rights than people accused of mental illness ? " , "what exactly gives them the right to put drugs in your body without your consent ?" , " Why are cancer patients allowed to refuse treatment if they feel the treatment is worse than the cancer but psychiatric patients are treated like criminals with things like CTOs ? "

When there mind gets to a certain point, they can see through all the lies that they've been programmed to believe. They realize that they've been duped and they come out of it....