I'm still a free man-Razael's Thread

i don't hear voices like a halucination but more a whisper in my mind on the odd chance .

but I just heard the sweetest voice say "oh no" on concept of mental health acts and being sectioned, yet while I was in thought I started to make a coffee with my expresso pot without even thinking, I already feel a little bit anxious or raw from feeling real again and a coffee would be disasterous, I really should even give up....I wondered what or who the voice may be but I don't know, as long as its nothing to worry about right....it wasa guidance.

anyway big deal I heard a voice remarking on me having a coffee and had a schiz moment when I was on hold for about 20minutes had an insight that maybe they have a computer that puts the late payment request for extention at the end of the cue and the new customers come in first...was on hold for 45minutes and getting pains in my body so gave it a rest, was on a public phone and remembered how I used to be a bit awkward and sensitive to peoples energy maybe it is hypervigalence at times but its based on energetic a subtle instinctual factors, but I am of the warriorship school and use it to adjust the deficits in my posture, thats where the energy stuff gets cleareeer by practivcing eastern arts.

so I remember my sensitivity making me a highly sensitive person by definition.

I also had insight into telling the quacks that just because it is a symptoms it could mean anything, like just because someone is agitated it doesn;t mean illness, or just because someone is muddled in their words and situational problems with peoplle wanting to but in etc...meaning just because it i9s listed as a symptom of schizophrenia, true insight would reveal thta it means something else that should be considered...it is lazy to rely on diagnostics to interpret all of my behaviours. I might have an explanation that should blow rims of a quack, but they wont get it or just say its a delusion just like my sciz moment with the phonecalls to energy company and possibility about what is really going on beyond my means to percieve it, this cause me a little anxiety over madness and my conditioning to see these things as a sign of illness...what the hell I got a theory, and I have been taught not to trust myself.....FEAR IS TOXIC especially fear of sanity in as I say are transliminal moments and are sensitive to the self and the outside world beyond.

slight paranoia about a marijuana high but that just means these quacks that wanna talk to me at the moment, and imagining if they met me when I was high, but then I got into the warriorship and chi-gung posture and breat and relieved any form of concern in my ability to stay cool and not so flighty in my mind...shouldnt even be mentioning the pot, I really changed my perspective on it, doesn't usually make me paranoid either. put it aside last deal and lasted me much longer as only had one or two mindful puffs a day...same deal with this..had one putting it away gotta save money too.

awesome song radiohead pyramid song

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x118r_ ... song_music
love it, speaks to me--not literally quacks but I relate to it

no don;t write ddown I think the music is talking to me, or their are messages
of course their is a message in it its art! shows agitation thinks he knows what the quacks would think

So your doing better right....free and lower on meds, or med-free? Sorting out your lifestyle and your own approach?

If so, thats great news to hear! Congrats on your efforts....

Also love the pyramid song. Music is divine...

Stay balanced and they wont be able to force you to do anything - but they will harass and pressure and check up on your for awhile. However, so long as your squeeky clean when they see ya, its all your right to choose your own path. After a period of time, theyll stop checking...

I',m taking a sleeper dose of seraquil untill I readjust, i noticed the effecct of this dose but the quacks think its too low dose.

thanks recovered I am doing alright, good to have real feelings coming back, plus I didn't do the best job at staying cool last time i talked to them but I also revealed the problem that they are difficult to talk to and psychiatrist tend to be annoying by interrupting, if not directly but the guy I sore was actually making noises as I talked jumbled but his interruptions were making me jumbled like they weren't listening which they weren't....

feel bad that i called them names, and have a feeling I might have hurt their feelings that they actually took my blow, so left me feeling sad about it for some reason, perhaps totally normal and a good thing, I can't be agitated and horrible normally....maybe pi king up on their feelings or a kind of karma thing. i get instant karma usually or pretty instant, and thats a good thing....

lately they are annoying me by projecting into my private space and interrupting my mental clarity, wake up quacks kinda thing, I can sense them wanting me to be someone with a mental illness, but I'm above that. I just notice when a thought really isn't mine but the images of them come in with certain patterns of thought when it gets to the point that they want to see me as mentally ill......hard to describe not that I would tell them I can pick up on their intentions and mind over my life when they aren't actually there, but perhaps there in spirit and thought of their own

ha,,,,really did a poor job of explaining how I pick up on their minds in my private space, but I don't go into it or ride with their artificial and distorted thinking, if i go into that way of thinking they win and I start thinking like them and thinking I need their drugs, its unnatural and I pinpoint it as their influence......anyway. some psychic thing////its a survival thing, I have a very clean and clear relationsship with my mind and pick up on all different kinds of thought, some are my own and can sometimes given the right circumstances dealing with authority I hear them trying to mold me into identifying myself as mentally ill....they would rather I go along with them, but that is not going to help me at all.

-- Sat May 04, 2013 3:01 pm --

when I was compliant i still got the impressions from them and invasive thinking about me that made me feel suicidal...so not like I think I can read minds and the illness returning ...I in power position and can't be made to feel like that anymore.....

thought the suicide thing might be a reaction of my case manager who might find me difficult or invasive herself in the way I think about the situation and being anti-psychiatry, so she preserving the integrity of her mind in psychiatry and feeling like she needs to impact on me so I get with the program and see everyithing according to her, like she trying to stay on top from me making her feel small kinda thing, or I picked up on her own feelings and suicide might be part of her thinking....was actually really strange she madee me feel impulsed to go buy razor blade and slash my wrists it was really bad, I wasnt depressed or anything just felt like giving up being on another year of CTO treatment.

but now It is all different she cant affect me like that since I am not going along with them they have no power over me..

here's a link that inspired my thoughts, is jesus a schizophrenic? and what does this really mean...it may sound anti-christian but its just stupidity, they are putting their foot in it. I could only imagine that psychiatrist would say "well jesus was a schizophrenic so take your medication like a good girl[or boy]" if she claimed she was being bathed in the loving light of the lord or whatever and like it would do something with the stigma or just a way of degrading christianity????thats the funny one and is based on modern concepts of mental or spiritual suffering and rebirth is made out to be a medical illness is even valid.

http://www.bible.ca/psychiatry/psychiat ... hrenic.htm

Wanted to share this [I know its rather long, but hope its interesting] not that I have been persecuted by psychiatry for being a christian or pagan or aligned with any religion. I had an unfortunate response even to my interest in non-linear dynamics numerology and visions and insights into astrophysics and unifying theory or realisation that was overwhelming yet symptomatic of over enthusiasm in preoccupations and aligning with a spiritual path in my late teens and to the downfall of my higher education, I got accused of suffering a medical condition....

Does this link I provide actually make psychiatry the antichrist? a novel concept yet I know some people woulld object or they can't see it from a perspective of their beliefs..

its amazing what they got labels for to do with hyper-religiousity for naming all the people that have gone down in history as religiouos authority and even a label for keeping spiritual journals.... and the prophets. and interestingly a label for making a moral or religious statement out of assisted suicide!..shame I don't think the author included the guy who wrote revelations?

Society is engineered and schizophrenia has been invented for a particular evolutionary moment in industrial society and led by the APA and big Pharmaceutical empire in psychiatry turning itself into a form of medicine thus hypnotising the general population. They wanna treat the life-purpose of those that go against our society to be engineeered for the greed of industry, social controll in keeping us dumbed down, there is no place for the birth of new religious leaders or people that have revelations and the sensitives in a putrid world the elite are happy with their power over our reality...

Maybe some individuals evolve to overcome problems of the soul level if you consider these to be more experienced incarnations, perhaps born to overcome the boundaries of a previous life or on a karmic level or process of aligning with a path in the late teens. This might include rebelling against social order with perspective of a more pure and enlightened way of living>?salvation and adopting purity in life that can take on unusual evolutionary moments , maybe an inate familiarity with the situation of being persecuted for being a misfit, the reactions are treated as symptoms of a medical condition...

I suppose it could get complicated for an idea of what spirits accompany us as a birth rite and by potential to open up to other dimensions in existence. Also the possability of "walk-ins" when our birth-rite soul cannot tolerate existence in modern human world and industrial life, or a point in visions to the evolution of mankind? that perhaps a higher soul or ascended soul or guide will intervene so we can learn to get past a tumour in our world such as in being seen as having an illness for our spirituality and put on sections to receive "necessary" treatments.

I find psychiatry professional to be insightless. & Hypocrites & not willing to listen which creates communication barriers and agitation. Yet proposing to see them as a joke as I write from the heart in refusing treatment on a CTO. transforming by being gangsta and more like myself again

I know it sounds anti-psychiatry, but its about seeing things objectively and a perspective, an independent insight into the nature of the world psychiatry is a part of....some is based on personal philosophy or beliefs of the nature of existence and what is Schizophrenia really is, if we could have greater insight into it or speak from experience for the study of professional scientist if not for them being so set in their ways and distorted view of reality and human life to diagnose eccentricities as a medical illness. Its about ignorance, I'm not about ignorance since I would align with buddism or more taoist philosophy of life and living, that gives me a different perspective then what we are obliged to believe about the nature of the world including psychiatry.

I had a quick look at the link. I think the topic does not bear discussing. Its just ridiculous and i'm not even a christian.

true & neither am I

dunno if it was such a good idea to forward this to all the government departments and hospital consumer relations departments I could and request for it to be given to the chief psychiatrist in victoria australia.....

Whooops!. No really, they will just ignore it. Don't worry about it.

oh thanks dude now I feel terrific!! lol nah its too late and just sent a RE.

P.S. It is a shame Religious and Spiritual Problems[shamanism, evolutionalry moments in religious beliefs, changing beliefs, and maybe family situations that arise from ignorance of a good life without the deceptions and illusions of psychiatry] has been neglected for consideration of differential diagnosis. It deserves special consideration for the sake of the sanctity of human life and diversity in cultural and anthropological accounts [WHO studies etc is just a clue]

unfortunately it is my word [as you can imagine-being labeled] against theirs for the matter of evidence that I was suffereing ongoing spiritual delusions for presenting my case for differential diagnosis of Religious and Spirituall Problems according to the DSM IV at the end of my latest admission, in a short hospital stay that i largely regurgitated or refused medication before general decline in cognitive attributes and characteristics and integrity in speech to present my case any further once the fleupanthixol at the lowest dose destroyed my dreams and self-esteem etc that could be also environmental in dealing with a profession that by choice am refusing, even on a CTO.

Thanks again
Pls someone please forward all this to the Cheif Psychiatrist???Please I will be very gratefull and its good karma



lol

yeah tryna play on the personality factor to get them to send it to the authority that can get me off a CTO

-- Sat May 04, 2013 11:36 pm --

personality factor in the version I actually sent let them know I have multiple personality disorder, not schizophrenia...the personality was actually the chick inside me...I prescribe to the eastern philosophies and respect my feminine as part of the ultimate synchronicity of mind body and spirit