I'm still a free man-Razael's Thread

Cheze2 wrote:Razael, I really think you need to stop listening to that song...and perhaps stop doing drugs while listening to that song as well

dunno why this makes me laugh, about how hooked I am listening to DArk Horse at least 2wice a day or make that 4times a day co I would repeat it, its really sick, I know I should stop with it...I know I should stop with Katy Perry, I am trying to get with the heaven lady she Identified herself to me as Claudia, I am thinking about her now so don't kknow if I draw back Katy Perry beccause its a habit or I think every astral I deal with is her unless they are male...thing is it hardly ever was her thinking of it, I just poorly identified the lovers I was dealing with...

so now I trying to get lost this Katy Perry thing and dream instead of claudia from heaven on the other side of the universe, I think she likes me and we would be in love if not that I was on antipsychotic.

Yeah cheeze its probably the drugs in combination with Darkhorse that had me tripping, I am doing my best to get more healthy so she not disturb me again, I rather be disturbed by Claudia just that if she comes to me I might think its Katy perry and get lots confused.

-- Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:49 pm --

I think that Katy Perry scares me more now, or at least I now realise it, I she were to teleport again I think this freaks me out and I don't really want to meet her.

sleeping all the time and to keep this interesting maybe I should talk about stupid quacks, I been thinking since my last appointment hw ######6 annoying it is that they disagree with everything plain and simple facts...Its hard to go into...but since I am a dumb ###$ I wasnted to share this darkhorse thing again with the clinic, so ###$ my chances of getter her to see the point that antipscyhjotics are barrier to recovery and to look after myself, I am sleeping all the time in bed so much but they just say thats my lifestyle coz i not doing anything, I doubt this but hard to answer to it, I am more likely to be doing stuff if I was not sedated, get the picture...I am sure people here would understand but the shrinks no they are too dumb ###$.

Razael wrote: I am sleeping all the time in bed so much but they just say thats my lifestyle coz i not doing anything, I doubt this but hard to answer to it, I am more likely to be doing stuff if I was not sedated

Have you tried to get up and to some things? I know I have been on medications in the past where they made me SUPER sedated and it was really hard to get up do anything. I found however that the more I pushed myself to actually get up and move around the easier it became. Perhaps while you don't have a choice necessarily to adjust your medications at this time you could try that? Also, I know in the past you talked about how some natural remedies were helpful. Are there any you could try? You're very knowledgeable about those things.

heres what I wr5ote In schiophrenia forum I edited to put her name in can't be bothered if you get my drift...I came on here to give you an update

yeah cheze I was gonna write in my thread about the good news about the girl I am dealing with now instead of katy perry, although katy appears and now she is my enemy but I don't want to make her my enemy..she had a spell on me big time.

I went to the dragon in the universe and to the god adjacent and then shown a pplace higher in the universe to go to where we are coded and identified and taken from our initial landing point to vast areas of the terrain to meet with gods..I found my new love here and she visits me.....although still stirps got heavy handed last night and made a mess of this place so instead the psychiatrists all clapped at me ######6 up...its back together now, just i got too powerfulll on this world and made a mess from attachmetn to scenarios in trips and it playing out like daydream but these daydreams had power...scary situation, not want this power to make a mess for the amusement of the psychiatrists..thats what I mean when I talk about triping, some of the $#%^ I deal with on the erth plane needs to go there but I fuel their power to ###$ this place up, for a while I thought ev erything I dealt with goes for coding on this place but not sure it works like that, my family wnet to the same place as all the psychiatrists to learn something.

I shouldn't even bother when I start talking about this $#%^, its useless

seems like its getting closer to getting that issue resolved with psychiatry through this journey of the universe and introduction them to other gods that deal with their kind.

I'm smoking a joint and feeling inspired to talk on this thing...about mainly how Katy Perry is out of the picture with a new lover more highly evolved and from the other side of the universe, although she not coming on all that stron wqas appearing to me and I made Katy my enemy, but its like she has a spell on me at least thatas how it seemed the other night..no sign of her, this more highly evolved lady I met from journey of the unverese and god got excited for me that I met beyond the dragon who gurard space flight from beyond the land of the gods...so this god ligned me up with a place to eventually find this lover...you'll know the palce by the carriages they use to cart you off to different part of the terrain, the psychiatrist I take the most interest in here unfortunately because I could be focusing on connecting to the lover, she not c ome on too easy so I know I am into a good thing....and I see a fantasy that she could materialise here on earth for me to see her, feel safer then when that was going on with Katy perry, even though I guess she appeared in the carpark but I never went over to truly say that it was her, maybe just as well she probalby would have wanted me not to tell anyone about it, like she always did when first appearing to me...anyway she is old news now but I still think about her, but not enough to desire her to come at me like she used to...I am over it and found something really good with this chick on the other side of the universe....how sad is this my lover is really slim chance I ever meet her...or how she exists or where we go, do we stay in this part of the universe forever even after I die here on earth...before I die at least I would like to be able to live and detach from living on earth and go on to leave my phsyicval body or some radical ascention that woulsd alow me to materialaise my body in other parts of the unvierse..it might mean something cool like I auto0mataivcally be acklymatised or not need to breath anymore aned exist as spirit I guess...I am willoing to dedicate my life to being able to do this, not sure how..just writing it made me loose sense of hope with it...its not a big fixation but one I am willing to work on some more, just connection to other place isn't as strong as I would like...the girl came on strong ad now bfcked off and I am supposed to court her or something, maybe I done something wrong and she not as into me but I felt transformed the other night with her in my life pure and like whata I talkingabout karmic equilibrium and feeling that reality and authenticness to my life, it felt really good like I was being loved from a higher part of the universe...ove exceeds all boundaries...cant' really feel anythign anymore, and maybe thats all she did, temporarily made me feel again even on antipscyhotics.


I tried to talk about what happening to the psychiatrists here, I am just trying to identify the name of the palce I want to take all earths psychiatrists, I think its my best hope yet for real change...they are talking with a god and I am hoping that this makes it possible for transforming the psychiatarists to be able to see astral entities..thats my dream anyway, not sure if its working....its wous serve them right anyway, I bet they wouldn't want to take antipsychoaics though I bet even though they pout them....I hope they don't this place is there treatmetn and they need to get wrapped up in this world...I think its called "lamda"

Ok. I have a lot to ammend and where $#%^ whent at over since i writing this.
I doubt anyone read or take too seriously...but important to note what i have fully realised since making tgese pseudo confessions ??? But real story '-where to begin?

I wont go to my post on paraphilias yet but pls pass along if at all problem...unlike others i am still honest.
Rah rah..
Ok
So.

In late 2015 ?? No. Not sure but story goes i picking up some weed a d start talking about my alien encounters and my freind in stitches. It is funny... thinking i write a book ...then found link to word of a prize for search for intelligent life in tge universe and million dollars -breakthrough listen or something. Legit. I beleive i left ine or two positive voiclce messages before rthat about writing a book!to clinic. I was voluntary patient and Big no no...i mean too much counting on keeping me quiet and noboxy pay attention to.

But to the most of important sht. I made mistake of calling "parents" and told tgem of tge prize. Big mistake tge face now i see screwed up with that triangular lip paralysis.
My "dad" had trouble i explaine million dollar prize..search for extra tetrestrials...he said "like rockets at schools" quietly i confirmed...and tgese freaks called shots on supposed "treatment" i tgen recalled the facts.

But point to add tgat it may sound rediculous but most recently re alled that tge man jumped in on a hypnosis. The sick animal freak! To support him in everything. I dont know everything yet but he made suggestions and i stayed hypnotised all mh life..for him to be able to pause me barging in and raping my girlfriend i was 16 she 15 but i could never hear anything at time she said and was in denial rememvering or anyone rell me i defend tge sick @@@@@@@.
Firsti jnstance perhaps was or did i already say? I three years older tgen a girl who come over to play with me on slippery dip. I went to fool around with her. I say ?11? She 8..my "dad " barved in and brutally raled her and it was horrible the man basically incented mental illness and after told me i sick in the head. And cant remember..he try to clean blood off her swim suit.
Other instances that "like rickets at schools" he is a violent pedophile and my brother too.
In adult life i saved my neice him cutting a hole in bix over head she histerical.tofmenting her saying she robot. He had just done something to her 2014? 2012-13 ok so helped her out. She told me "uncle m-'' told me if i told anyone what he did to me hed kill my mummy" she also explained he introduced himself saying his name was my name" which also found out at a family wedding in seperate occasion. Which strangly may confuse people....
O
I could hear him when helped my neice say my bame and luje my sister her mum come out but she just stare at me sobbing. I reassured her but that family is sick!

So like i said some things here confessing that actually i last person to physically approach a child...wont go into it. My sexual preferences a tually i not sexually ATTRACTED to childeren but i keep the reality private.

Later one afmission after like back to course of events 2015. My case manager aftet sayingabout the old man said "thats normal" for your dad to rape your girlfreind...they locked me up the next week lieing to vover up that she claimed a lie i wasnt making sense..
Anyway later hospital reports got shut screwed up. I didnt read my reports and the convenient deliberate lies they enjoy so much never clarifued with me.
Then suspect the facility endevour to start rumours. Or my behaviour hear being too honest about girls leaked out?? Not sure.
But i not a pedophile i was over reacting. The truth is voming out
. I actually brought up by pedophile family heratige and remorse deeply greivef my behaviour as preteen early teen and hadbreakdowns overi it...

I am more safe to trust with chikderen tgen any "man" itsnot sexual but childeren girls are endearing.

Thanks.
Not related to that family.
Fully realised starseed ..
Which is more interesting.

But tgat $#%^. Tge community somehoe got hold of it and glee over accusing me being pedophile? But that be supporting the $#%^. Or joy and pride using the MH establishment gossip thinking they would know!! Bull.
But pretty much passed that now. Lot has changed...

Yeah lot has changed but for some time instead of being hit on on the astral plane by crlebrities or girls too young freaking me out. I was getting molested by my case manager. Lije i wad getting watched taking drug at clinic every day and my cadr manager strutting up sensing some $#%^ on my groin she putting on show to claim innocence. I knew not to complain about it. The ghastly paradite wreched whore.
So no like katy perry. That fizzled but apparently it would be ok if a ghastly 60yr old woman cut in.

Old news.
Yuck.

But i did exclaim i missed the days bding seiged by hundered thousands of aliens compared to constant visions of smiling laughing "garble garble" crap whore clinicians. But never mentioned how it made my skinanc distress of those paradites molesting me.

All good now
Definately used have more going on in persuit of justice. Now justice will be done however.