I'm still a free man-Razael's Thread

so she came back with all the commotion over some stuff to do with her filmclip and I have transformed and no looking back, at least partially transformed for the better ...so all going out to her for making that possible..feeling real

Oh

tho maybe its because of the email I wrote to the head psychiatrist at the clinic so having a relapse thatnks to him...transformation making me drool over this situation in all its juicyness...i took a insanity herb bnecause I thought I try it again to see if it works, and hell yeah it works and still feeling good..promising news for transformation she awokened a dead part of myself that had been killed on their drugs, so awoken that and angels took me to a special place and some other trips that I didn't kknow what happening, now she only has positive influence though still not around me much since insanity herb ..all is good though feel like I am bit relapsing a bit even on the drugs like haliperidole with a fix of cannabis ...I still think that writing the email about the upfcoming filmclip might have shook this relapse ito place like explaining what my trips wree about to them, the have me experience t again and its only \positive this time..I hope it keeps up.

still insicure how this thread is too revealing, but it coming up in searches, or whether anyone be bothered reading it all, I should quit about what I did to my cousin, I cn't remember me doing anything bad but like giving her a hug and groping her butt cheek, I liked her arse thats all that got me addicted to her, but I would forget about it after my auntee took me with the shotgun to the bank to transfer the account into her name, the one I wrote out of thin air after confessing crimes and guilt, she took advantage of my vulnerability, and I forgot about it.

Thanks cheze for following this, don't like to hear what people think of this.

traansforamtion regarding the unlived kkarma for deviant sexual activities, thaat I shouldn't be possess'ed by what ever lower form it is and live my godlyness in peace with whatever beings I want in my visions...seems her visit was positive this time..hope I can get over the consequences of writing to VCAT about it, about saying I molested my cousin, pretty ino\cent at the age I was but I really liked her but she just thought I was being mean, I remember a card whe wrote me asking that I not b e mean to her this visit, only ever see her christmas...so thats pretty cute looking back..

not exactly sure but some positive reminders of who I am deep down inside on a soul level, feeling more like a man then psychiatry has intended me to be feeling again and like a distant reminder now who I m really..not sure what possessed my crimes further to the childhood fantasy to be wanting to get in bed with my cousin, looking back I can hardly remember what I did, nothing really but still It was the guilt of this crime that led me first to this place or reaching karmic equilibrium...perhaps I am getting the message that I overcompensted for this i9n me that I get so heavy into spirituality and worship goddess's of truth and justice..Ma'at, did I talk about the babies, I told the shrink today that I had the cover photo on facebook this goddess, we made babies once and I seen them again when I was refusing fluepanthixol recently that I hardly talked abbout..having a terrific night anyway remembering who I am despite how antipsychpotics have destoryed my spiritual purity and karmic goodness, feeling the balancing scales of this truth and justice in my rightfull place of who I truly am...worried though I am relying on the celbrity for this reassurement and how she rememgbered me and I just flashing bac k to good trips with her and how am am normally, not sure...but Ifeel normal..

so excited I had to share

been transforming
no life of living boring
flashbacks to what this all means

with dreams
of when I was moruning
my beautiful cousin who committed suicide Kelly was a victim of pedophilia
what rhyms with what god should be torching
and launching into fulll blown psychosis
wants a trophy and to boast this.

karmic deeds and triumph or does it seem like a bluff
i tought for trips about the law, and crawl paranoid and folk lore

I think she took a detour, the celebrity

maybe nobody was gonna read this
some twit thinks Katy perry wrote a song about him
and things were looking grim
if there is a side to a story that has ever been

Now I see it really clear of how I lived my cousins life the one that died and I should rise with my tribe

wherever that \tribe may be
maybe waiting for me to be free

free from what?
the drugs dragging me down
trips make me frown, drown loose my crown
upside down

I still suck but at least I tried to get a meaningfull point accross poetically..I used to be good at writing like that, now I am twat, flop no appeal, just something to keell over like a drover.

I suck.

I used to be more poetic

but they give you drugs to forget this
my family freaked when I was feeling bliss

Not even any trips yet
family just wanted me like a pet

something to win or lose
those fools
I thought I be given an oportunity to proove
I could move away from the fray even to this day

but psycchiatry make this
dim wit who maybe could choose right for his life and think twice, at what price to take his life and potential wife...she thinks its cake, but htere should be a wake for a love that once was placed in mud and thud in trips that should be bliss...

meaning I gonna try to rhyme for a while
ITs just a trial, no need to smile
everything I say this is rhyme or maybe its just me that would smile, didn't want to drown...or maybe I frown when I edit this. I am going for bliss no tricks but fair enough can give my poems a miss.

can't remember what I gonna say
in this play , on words
who gives a turd
or is it absurd to say that one day there will be peace and love golore or you think now she is a whore?
by no means any disp\respect to katy
when I came at her she blocked me
and so maybe I should say I lost this
but still I needed the thrill and relived it through voicing this state to the mass's and nobody come to harrass this...there must be a twist or it is an infliction of stigmatic crap and words to blurr the lines that confine the truth or what ever mess that is truth and realtiy , I was never charged with battery and rape, infact its what I hate to this tdate,,.it claimed the life of a sensitive cousin I want their power to plummet, who was this.. when I think to myself despite of the bliss at my own abuse and want to call a truce maybe to one day forget about it just makes it agreeable to get away with crime and should be a chime from thine attempts to blurt out two random lines at twice to ensure that maybe this will never make any sense . should be entreched




--------------------------------------
and I say twice to hesitate to say this, take a whizz dismiss-able and trapable fool with lassoos to frooz and abuse and misuse of made up word

Meaning to say I edited this
before a piss and some extra water to quench my thinrst insteade of cola drinks as I used to ...maybee that contribute to mute the mule , the tool that should be using lines and dashes and thrashing in his unarmed suit as proof of limited capacity to find words instead of turds and prood aloof to bruise the muse is abuse...lines and dashes meaning brackets and apostrophies and so forth they call it grammar, I don't bother with this spanner as much as I should or would but made into pudding for wooding over teenagers and afraid of this but it was like possession and should be a lesson to talk about what matters in artestry , not tartistry of underage girls, who told to whirl in ways they wouldn't usually if not for abusive minorities that exploid and abuse, makkes me whoose of what I subjected myself to , that can't be put in two words or three, untill I am free of the burder and wouldn't want this path to learn this except for tricks and things I coujld be learning with out the disgrace of mistaken face.

Meant to b e saying earlier I should be using commas, or pretty umbrellas to embellish the lines and ryhms that go in chime for repeat use of words that I have already said absurd>

don't kfnow why I bother, this should all bne abolished, it only damages my resonance and an unpleasant lassoo on my rectum to disrespect my oath to privacy I breach it everyday

sorry this is all over the place and keep complaining about repeat use of miss rymbed inbred words for times I should try to talkm about something new.

I am through with this ryming
I am dieing

someone make me stop, its not a frock that should lock tight. quite a fright to be locked in lay rhyming when none of them are good and the best one was ones I payed a bit more aatatention to and tryed a bit harder, now its getting darker and I not yet any smarter to rhyme when I talking about slime ..

I should be talking about the sublime
the great divide between sanity and normal magic not widgets, or didgets your holding up behind my head and object to scientific scrutiny, science that the astral exists and the astral is the minstral mimwitted -shral impromprtue mess of the dis-respect I get probably not thaat I would wawnt to probably find out, what its about is something that might have escaped or scaped by without trial, youj must think I am vile. yet I can still smile, not with delight but more fright, I am white with fear its clear when trips aren't going so well but all is swell now so can't complain or be maimed..maybe to this day I don't know this, when you thinking of the word fix, and it almwost rhyms with tricks..maybe thats why I am such a bad poet with limited capacity.

http://youtu.be/vwqiKh1twTM so she came to me as Katy-Patra last night to see what I would think of her new look, funny but she revived me so I am lucky, still feeling it a bit so good....check out the preveiw to the new music video, I thought she pulled the idea from my facebook page with picture of Ma'at egyptian goddess, and when talking to her I claimed to be able to make her into a goddess..so maybe I helped inspire this? not sure..hope john mayer not in the video to win her heart....

http://youtu.be/SWq9A0wU1cU **Caution Trigger Warning**also check out this video unofficial release of video for darkhorse, its disturbing

i already put the links up but just wanted to make sure you get it, it got lost with my other posts and trying to rhyme.

that video that has a trigger warning is now up on http://youtu.be/yLdb4clyDl4 it got removed ans I left a stupid comment and thought it might have actually been her come to think of it.

The official video came out http://youtu.be/0KSOMA3QBU0 but I sti9ll not sure what to think of it, got me thinking of time when I talking to her facebookk and about saying I was gonna transform her into a goddess and she might transform as part of my visions, depicted near the end where she gets her wings...I musta sounded crazzzzzzzzzzy on her facebook come to think of it.....but the rest makes no sense to me, but she has interesting video to watch if anyone interesteed. I keep going bac kk to watch it, that must be good sign,

can't believe all the hype now about her being illuminate and her satanic ritual of a grammy performance that I thiink is cool but yeahh kinda disturbed by it. maybe this is trigger warning too, I like the voice at the start http://youtu.be/ZSaxGesjybA

P0ci wrote:Razeal you did a lot of psychedelics in the past huh? I can tell

What did the shrinks diagnose you with? lol I still cant understand what your posts are about

I trip when I use marijuana, together with power katy perry lol I done DMT and little bit of magic mushrooms, the times I did acid I couldn't tell if had done anything or not, I guess not I already a tripper

sorry only just got your message, maybe better that my posts don't make sense, less embarrassing.

they diagnose me with schizophrenia unfortunately, but that could mean anything

teleporting trips were on again last night, all I could see really was Katy-Patra and her images on the video when she weraing different colour wigs and looks completely different, anyway...I went backk to place in the universe I thought was the real heaven overlooked by a god, but I made a mess of the place, the girls their wanted me to teleport and they treid to abduct me to go to this place in the universe, but it didn't work so still on earth and no teleportation...be alright if the girls from heaven would visit me like katy perry does, but no kinda relying on her for all this to happen...Katy patra was wrathfull when I woke to have cigarrettes, she trying to keep me go to bed but I couldn't so kept waking up for cigarrettes....ashamed of this thread too and the pedophilia thing, the other day she revived me and felt the justice balance of a relapse of rawness and feeling real, I haven't tossed since, good I don't want to waste my seed and vital energy.

how could I communicate this teleportation thing? my trips...so she doesn't any longer not officially visit me, but I had a smoke and she came at me in full force, often changing her mind about teleporting to be with me, I thought she doesn't want me to be thinking about her....katy patra tried to annihilate me at one point but I came back, I shouldn't been able to see her after that...

NOt sure what it means, but maybe I should stick to trying not to think about her or this darkhorse business, maybe she doens't want me to trip about her, not sure.

http://youtu.be/0KSOMA3QBU0 this is the official filmclip, and the source of trips , so it succeeded in tripping me out technically although was dissappointed how many signs I read from it, except for the transforming her into a goddess and some trippy things I told her on facebook before I got blocked. Trips were so good about it, I thought maybe it was real, the filmclip that is...I officially met KKaty-patra and all good she didnt reduce me to a peice of jewelery or anything. although once she did but I recovered...pity though I can't control stupid actions in my trips, like the same thing I do and its bad and I suffer more bad trips because I can't control anything, thats the antipsychotic making this trip land so stupid and dangerous, if I could stand up for myslef and act appropriately then I be better, but need to get off antipsychotics to do that....I am sure the quacks won't understand but I going with the message that she no longer trips me and rauwolfia serpentina is more effective then anything to ward bad trips off and get some sleep.

-- Sun Feb 23, 2014 4:13 pm --

the goddess's of heaven asked me to save my seed and not wankk till we get to teleport to another part of the universe to be with them, I am over earth and think I would be at home in some far away land, it is a long way away, maybe some other galaxy...so how can Iget myself to go their...like everytime I tried to visualise my teleportation I would loop back around and land in my bedroom again, nothing shifting me to go to another part of the universe, this made trips bad looking back and a cow tried to stop me going, the cow was her and katy patra-got her karma and got turned into a cow, pretty unfair, I didn't like seeing her as a cow not sure why that happened b ut the attempt of my friend the god of heaven trying to abduct me failed and I stay on earth to dissappoint the goddess's of heaven, they would be super highlly evolved too not sure if they are giants or I transport to official size when I get their, they like me even if this thread makes me seem unlikable.

Did I mention trips last night that involved teleportation to heaven on distant part of the universe and would be greeted by so many beautiful women that are beyond our comprehention of gorgeous and higher beings...once when a god tried to teleport me a cow jumped on to hold me back, not sure if it was gonna workk but the cow shook me up and indeed it was KKkaty-patra, katy-patra's head and a cows body but couldn't have that thing walking around and really felt for her in distress like this, although its karma for what she does in mer clip and m0rphs a dog with a mans head..so I desperately tried to morph her backk again, maybe a mistake she deserves it? although I was disturbed by it, seems I am disturbed when tripping that higher beings she disrepsecets and then ends up in trouble and I try to stop them, maybe I should just let it slide and ignore her and stop caring so much about her.....and all the while she was making this teleportation thing again, even though it was distressing being stolen by unknown beings to snatch me from my sleeping twisted mess,...seems she doesn't really want me although interrupting my teleportation to higher places to teleport to alternate dimention to be with her or katy patra as it seemed last night, she was quite prominent. not sure what else I had to say

just for laughs about turning her into a cow last night. not sure what it meant for katy perry but Katy patra was in trouble.

-- Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:01 pm --

almost like the film clip is a living reality for me, she appears in her forms with different styles and has a different persona astrally.

Razael, I really think you need to stop listening to that song...and perhaps stop doing drugs while listening to that song as well

It sounded like what I had when I am dreaming.