I'm still a free man-Razael's Thread

still listening to darkhorse on repeat...listened to the album on repeat the other night but not ready for that agian..just darkhorse....I like it.

That darkhorse song is trippy. If I was in a manic state I too could listen to that on repeat all night long! Hang in there Razael.

Copy_Cat, sorry to hear that you and your lady friend are having difficulties right now.

thanks cheze, glad yo like the song I trippin over.....my advocate got wind of the celebrity thing so hangin on in there a bit more, the injection I got hope doens't make a difference but its not as strong today..altho0ugh ppromising things in my sleep I felt like I was getting elivated into heavenly layers above the earth, felt really good! not sure where it stands with my lady freind, since the advocate got wind of it its been a bit $#%^ house actually..and since I said about it on facebook had to trip my facebook off the planet....my guides are prominent they might be blocking the celbrity thing abit, hope not, I still want her around but maybe its just getting that way that its dieing off a bit, not sure what is gonna happen...or I having second thoughts about it, $#%^ house really, why would I be second guessing this $#%^....

-- Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:20 pm --

why would I be second guessing with her when she is the one that made me treaatment resisitant to still have an inner world of fantasy? I like what she has done and should be thankfull and keep her in my life, but I not sure what is gonna happen since opening up about it on facebook especially and to the advocate. In trouble with my VCAT hearing coz this stuff came up right at the wrong time.

As I said in my dreams or when I laying in bed I was being elivated to really feel what its like in the heavenly layers above the earth, I wanna go there and leave this world behind.....

I am worried she gonna get blocked out of my life :/ wonder what I should do, I can't imagine her not being their she been with me for a while, longer then any other time before the psych $#%^ came into it...glad I di9dn't ruin darkhorse for anyone, so what I thought it about me but had this other song in my head ghost when she says I wrote a text, but at that time I don't think I did unless she means on twitter, my theory falls apart on that song but it sounds like her expperience Of me going into psych treatment except the focus on thi9s sending of a text. maybe that song in my head is a reminder that its not about me but something she actually experiece with someone unless she got a mysterious text from someone tryna ruin us and she just thought it was me and thats why it got all ###$ up to the point of seeing eachother on the other side rest in peace kinda $#%^ that just sounds like what would happen when going through psych treatments so I not appear to her like before and my heart gets more like an echo but not there anymore. regardless I still hearing that one as it might be about some physical realtionship and not some dream third eye $#%^, at least I have some fun with the idea and knowledge of out history to think darkhorse is a sign, but then again she wrote ET and the album is in the same vain about lovers not on the physical but some other $#%^ going on, at least thats all I heard from the album never did they actually meet, we should be legendary lovers and she sore it through her third eye...but yeah the song ghost kinda ruins my theory....I did write a text to her once she said it woould work and gave me a number but I had doubts when I wrote the text and sent it.......wonder about her email I got telep0athically in hosppital,, read something I wrote already and though I lost my chance I sound like $#%^ so I sent another one and sent it to another idea that it might be a hotmail address went through no return email saying it didnt work but I doubt the hotmail idea now nevermind just thinking just incase I should make sure I only send quality material, might be ######6 up and not as good I gotta remember from psych treaTMENT.

thinking this is a dream and nothing gonna come of it, not sure if I want anything anyway if you get my drift but if it really was in the palm of my hand I would be saying maybe for sure. dunno why I so scared. oh yeah she might address that in unconditionally again I don't like thinking that song is about me, not sure if its disresppecting her or noot but I have hesitations over that song, maybe the acceptance ppart that made me cry when first hearing it, it doens't make me cry anymore but just dunno about that song sorry, i feel bad though that I reject unconditionally, when I on a darkhorse trip I like bragging anbout it, or I did and learnt my lesson by explaining to the psychiatrist that this song explains a lot, dunno whether they miss that I had this happening in my original hospi9tal admission and kept it a secret, hence thinking this song is a sign.....won't talkk about it anymore, or I shouldn't and if facebook even loaded I would be avooiding that place too after the neurosis that their noo coming out of but getting angry at a mino9rity that read it and think #######4 and try to drag me down and get worried or some $#%^ can't stand it..

think its from being so open about it but this thing with the celbrity is dieing, I still see her but there isn't anything there the drugs have blocked my feelings and now I think I should be thinking it is sick and move on from her, my feelings not their because of the antipsychotic and getting tired of trying to keep connected plus she got a boyfriend. Or I got caught up in rationalising it according perhaps to reflecting it of other peoples conceptions of normal or bizzarre about it something that was private and should never have opened up about...not sure what gonna happen unless its the injection , I am compelled to do breathing excercises but hardly do it properly since my last injection trying to push thata $#%^ out of my body using breath work, I should do it more, it opens up to medtation but sometimes i just cant be bothered with it and try to go into a kind of sleep instead and forget the breathing.....

I lost vision of say the girl in the big dress although I can still see her face when I look for her...I guess its from talking about it, or the injection got to me, but I think the talking about it spoilt it for me.....even though I not with her so much she still came to me last night and my appartment is a mess and she really picked up on it, I no good thatas all I am admitting to mysellf, as if I have a chance, dunno what it is this thing I have with her, it went pretty deep at times, or maybe I should remember the times we had more then anything before I spoilt it talking on places like facebook about it.....down and out about it, and the album now doesn't work for me though I still listen to darkhorse from time to time, maybe its just a phase I going through and will be sweet once it dies down, whatever it is that has me moving on, maybe its in my best interests....focusing on the extradimentional beings was good for me, to transfprm myself into one, thats moving on but she has got me doing more tripping and travelling so all good that I can be treatemtn resistant because of her, and I doubt the extradimentional being did thata much as easy to forget about them, not so easy to forget about a massive crush I had on a celbrity, tired of not feeling it on the antipsychotic, gotta get off this $#%^ to be truly free...now I just got weird feelings about it all, it was personal detail I don't like the idea of people knowing about it now, now I already opened up about it...spoilt it...or the ongoing drugging did.

now she says"I got news for you mr" but then couldn't understand a wordd she said otherwise. can't keep focus on it and my head clear enough to be truly receptive

she was certainly a distraction from thinking about psychiatry...

now today I sleep a lot but trying to remember deep diaphram breathing belly protrusion on the inbreath and contract out all the $#%^ by cotracting the stomach muscle to push out the air on the end of the out breath,

sorry I made a mess of my tread going on about this celbrity thing..ashamed I spoke up so much about it. embarrassed...or I could be suffereing at the hands of the psychiatric establishment, and their thoughts on the subject, opened up in hospital too maybe I shoulda left it there.

Thats my trip with darkhorse anyway. not sure if the trips about her visitations have anything to do with it...but I like when she does that, just not sure what the weed contributes to tripping out like I spoken of we'll see tonight maybe, maybe not but I was hopefull for something interesting, not getting any weed and hope not to for a while, gotta save money.

the KP thing is old a tired now, so it took me to get stoned to realise why its fallen to $#%^...let me think about before I went to hospital when things were sweet, now I am not so good but hopefull to truly get back into the swing of things...the extradimentional beings who I might just call ET's, I was convinced I could turn this psychiatry thing upside down by employing ET's to do the labour of dealing with the hierache of pscyhiatry, in hospital it proved useless and I was reduced to something feeble. I had power I know it, before hospital since doing some voyage I was invincible and imposed fear in people from the astral from earths climate, they stood in awe of my accomplishment of dealing with these ET's.....some tried to bring down the clinic and deal with the head psychiatrists and aswell as a holyer then though image I sore as the head of psychiatry on earth, still haven't brought him down, thing is that there is a power structure I just didn't identify what it is to bring it down, they work off history and their education, its hard to budge that, but I think my time in hospital might ha\ve opened up their perceptions to higher places and my ability to get in their heads now, if only I could be all I was before hospital, so not exactly treatment resistant, so I think the celebrity fall out is something to do with the \treatemtn, see I am not all I can be and surely making a mess of things with the kind of mater\iall I put to her, I am ###$. we could have been freinds if not for the psych treatment, like after I got their still sleeping well with help of ET guide...

so what should I do to get it back and have all that is going on in real life, my real life o the astral and emp\loying ET's and evolving thannks to ET to be superior and well respected in earths astral climate, people feared me if you get what I saying and the celebrity might have respected me more, now since treatment I am not worthy of this celebrity attention, and as I said if she does get my email I am just as likely to be put in the junk box with the kind of $#%^ I send, its not quality materi\al and what I capablle of

did I mention it took getting stoned to realise how much I actually deteriorated since going to hospital and here I was des\perately clinging to a delusion that a celebrity interested in me even if she did magically appear in the park one day and maybe my last chance to meet with her and yeah she did visit me astrally quite a bit , but I am useless now, I had a lot more going for me when I was off treatment and getting back into things, regret now not visiting hear to share my ideas about ET
s....it was good...I thought I would blow you all away and I be famous for bringing down pscyhiatry! didn't want to blow anyones mind but maybe I should have blown some minds, maybe nobody would listen and as the psychiatrists did say was a delusion, and my memory of being robbed by my aunt was in the foreground coz I tried to contact my old university with news of the front heading for psychiatry and the ET's I was employing , wanted to share news for visionar\ies because I was realising the ego complex and maybe fear of fame for performing magic. like I should have a fear anybody knows about my celebrity thing, hospital made me stupid and I forgot its a secret or maybe I just want to share it with everybody, anyway....I gotta get back to being worthy of her attention it must be boring for her, I did visit the other day when experimenting with different forms and an ET black feathured creature was a prominant form something she well tollerated compared to general consnsus of this form appearing to them, kinda startling anyway. I also manifest as a being \of light in angelic form and I can do some pretty cool $#%^, went to hospital like this too to show them I could do good work as well as freaking them out appearing as an ET...so thats one thing I should be more carefull and don't "appear" to the celebrity much, but it was better as the angelic being form I take on..hope speaking about it doesn]'t jinx my forms 0f \appearance on the astral. and its hard to say ET's when I am talking about lifeforms you wouldn't conveve possible from a stance that humans are highly evolved we are surely not highly evolved for the standards of lifeforms in the known universe, we are dealing with giants and the wisest of creatures and wanting them to get involved with bringing down psychiatry or at\ least available for anyone having crisis of visionary kind I tried to s[[peak of earlier when mentioning sending emails to my old university, I didn't explain it that well it was much clearer when I was experienceing visionary states and realising myself as a special bread with an agenda for mankkind, just not enough visionaries tackle psychiatry power structure or get sucked into thinking they have a mental illness and buying the psuedoscience of [psychiatry, I sore too many people in hospital thinking the psychiatrsits know what they are on about, they don't know.....

hope my posts are improving with trying to improve myself, maybe remembering the visionary mix will help, and remembering the power I had before being nabbed by the psychiatrists, so I not treatment resistant really, I remember now, just I was still having visions of this celebrity to make me think she still interested in what we have, now we have nothing and I am a mess but I doubt she understands and might just put me in her junk box coz I said nothing remotely cool or interesting to her, I am just a mess now...thanks to psychiatry....so maybe I be more interesting if I get into psychiatry again maybe this vision of employing ET's to do some of the hard yards with people, problem is they don't know how to cause harm its not in their nature and they would direct us to a peacefull resolution to highest karmic good of individuals concerned, unless this is important and they can inflict suffering onto those keeping the psychiatry wheel in motion, this is people with mental illness aswell as they are some of the biggest factors in getting new patients and convincing their neighbours to seek help and they are sick and pushing what they learnt in how they were treated and recreating it for everyone around them in the right cirbumstances. I know I feel very uncomfortable like I am sick looking when a freind visited , she has her own issues but ended up they all projected at me and uncomfortable noisy silences projecting this idea that I am mentally unwell coz i am in a psychward and it was just sick, how sick people make \people sick, concepts of sanity I guess and they try to see it in others when the timing is right. families keep it going, society is educated to keep psychiatry afloat and serving some purpose that draws good natured people to a career because they think they are serving humanity with the highest of honors in treating people as mentally unwell and getting them drugged I am talking about the nurses, they play mind games when they think they are hearing something from a metnally ill person when real $#%^ was going down at the hospital, anyway..theses people need to learn and I was hoping my voyages to meeting the gods and taking this celebrity into heaven prior to hospital might make some good news on the front of forced psychiatric dealings but pprobably not, I am just some whako to her that thinks heer album is about him, I don't anymore just think darkhorse is or was about me.

I tried with my psychiatrist in hos\pital I had a clear vision of taking her to meet them ET's, and then choosing a horrible allternative for places for her and we chose the ET's of course, thing is they might actually improve in their delusions of integrity in their chosen art, and not really take on board the possabilities of consciousness to unicte with higher beings highly evolved species, they might need to be ushered into comprehending it, so maybe my best time is now to employ them, just which ones I met so many and ccan only really visualise the first species I came accross, still considerably more advanced then us puny humans, they are scary to \most people dunno why maybe they fear the unknown and power of them, thats why its hard to employ them becuase most run for cover to be anyhwhere near percieving them as real, they have to appear in other ways that they wouldn't be able to work their true power but more of a fairy like two dimentional outline in minaturised form, my belief is that their is some fairy species too that appear smaller to soften the blow of witnessing thier power, or something about relative size givingus comfort at the top of the food chain, yeah the ET's could make a mess but choose not to even appear to people because it might blow their minds or something, usually like to the celebrity I introduced a female of this species would appear through a window so no such direct contact but toned down in how close is comfortable to them...if you get my drift they not likely to make direct contact hell I only had a certain appreciation of what they can induce in evolutionary moments that I should keep focus on....not sure how I can when in this psychiatry bubble that needs to be burst to get my true nature back, to get off the antipsychotic should be my priority, but how....if only this celebrity and I made a bnetter impressing to get a celebrity into antipscyhiatry, but she hardly aware of the thing I have or had going on with her when I was at my best and most potential to score with someone, had all my magic bullets in the sack and love like no other. thats when it really counts and thats what I thought darkhorse was about when it was going well....its not going well now so not the same yet she still tryed, I don't see the point in her trying anymore coz I am a waste and a mess, not worthy of her attention, thats how it is so I gotta get right and start rememebering who i am.

-- Sat Dec 21, 2013 4:01 pm --

turns out that after taking my psychiatrist I was battling with trying to get a second opinion to the situation, she eventually no longer had me after having vivid visions of taking her pllaces she didn't like but survived. not sure if i changed her perceptions of me through her ecperience or whether my complaints I made about her weere really the reason she couldnt continue with me.

m0ore likely if I succeeded in ######6 them up they take that as motivation to get me treatment, but if I ###$ them up that is for a reason they have to learn,,, trying to transmute the situation... but as if that is gonna work, they might just think my delusions are dangerous or cant admit to themselves that I know what I am on about..pity that the celebrity although was helping, my willingness to talk about it got me in trouble, if I was only about ET's then I might have had a chance in really making a mess of this mental health facility, I guess they remember my gory details, might open them up if you get my drift. why I would want to address the celebrity I dunno but she has done some work on them too recently. but proving that would only be dangerous for my situation really....and besides she got no interest in me , she happy with her partner and I am like a dream, not even...not sure. maybe thats soething I will never figure out, coz its likely to fade into nothing and I continue my drug induced slumber of not having any sex life or love in my heart, and the possability of being appreciated for my attributes, I am nothing now in comparison to who I was a cou\ple of days into hospital, when I still had my energy and wings. funny thing is some of the nurses might actually appreciate you in the moment say when I woke up revved up and two nurses just laughing nicely at me coz I woke at about 3am so went back to bed, hard to explain but I had wings, I was becoming my ultimate of being and they ruined me, now my celebrity thing is ruined too inevitably.

had all sorts of attacks last night it wasn't pretty and some stuff was too big even for ET's to deal with and got sucked up, happens after this celbrity comes to me and I so lazy that it sticks out that I couldn't really have her over because I am a mess so after she coming to me for a while it opens up to trips and I get lousy at defending myself, the neighbour I think I draw him into the trips of him trying to have his way with my imaginary freind and trips over that but its like I just needed to switch something to get him out of the picture, didn't want to cause any harm either because he's a friend and a neighbour and even though he's being a prick and deserves to get shot down I can't do it for it puts me at risk next time I see him if he blames me for opening him up to this $#%^.if you get my drift so gotta take it easy on him and realize it might just be my tripping..not sure about the celbrity wanting to be around me, I feel worthless and she comes on so strong that I fail and then start tripping and being really dumb and not appropriate.

going home for christmas my ET's wanna meet my family but I accused an aunt that will be thier of robbing me in about 1999 while I was at uni I said something trippy to a professor on the street outside a bank and he wrote me a check for large sum of money and said dont worry I can afford it...anyway I was around at my aunts having a breakdown and my mum and dad didn't know what to do so I said something stupid to my aunt about interfering with my cousin at a young age and I felt like I was having guilt about it and I wrote a bank account number out of thin air and she realised it to be a bank account number got a shotgun under her jacket and proceeded to take me to the bank while saying the gun was pointing at me and closed my account and opened it in her name, the clinic at VCaT claimed she made a withdrawal but the details are more important, its been 7years so all records are destroyed and nothing I can do about it..so christmas I will have to be nice to her like it never happened and I am supposed to say its because I was unwell I come up with such a story, she set me up as a schizophrenic for interfering with her daughter at a young age, I was stupid idiot really but no harm ever came of her just stupid kids...thats the problem if I was gonna remind her what she did I have to admit to the indecency I did as a youngster with her, nothing too serious she never let me do anything she didn't like although it was a bit weird and maybe don''t kknow what she thinks of me to this day..I was just a youngster with too much sex $#%^ on my brain really didn't kow what to do with all that, I wanted sex at really young age and got myself into trouble with pedo's when trying to advance on a girl muc h my seniour but still like about 12 in a tent naked with a man in their and he did something to me when I went in, but I wanted the girl but I got the old man. enough about that, maybe this $#%^ is interesting more, I had memories of things happening to me and seeing $#%^ as a youngster but any time it ever come up I always got ###$ by the psychiatric system and my family thinking I was unwell, I would have vivid memories and they always deny'ed it and claimed I was sick and put me in loony bin, half thanks to involvement of this aunt making sure I was propersly set up as a metnal patient for life..wonder what to do about it.

I know the damage that men interfering with children can cause I had a cousin commit suicide and sisters messed up, what I did as a kid is nothing this girl is super awsome chick and guess no hard feelings for times I would get aroused by her and want to express it somehow....maybe I am still messed up by my childhood today certainly by admitting what I did to my aunt got me in big trouble she ###$ me up thinking I was a pedo, I thought I was a pedo I was still only young and had a lot of sorting those feelings out, I am super with kids now, I get into archangels and some of them that interested in have interest in developing people little people and to be really good and I want if anything to be memorable part of their life with good memories, as if I would be a pedo....even though worrying about led to curiosity and a habit of trying to find pictures and eventually vidios, this belongs in a different forum..the celbrity thing helps resolve some of those problems, I looked up some trash when with my EX grilfriend to give her b ad feelings about me doing something behind her back, didn't really like what I sore but it was the rush of doing something against the rules..then started feeling all ###$ up and discusting for what I did, could hardly face the outside world without feeling ###$ up and disgusting pedo and really hated that feeling, couldn't look at children as they associated to dirty feelings about looking $#%^ up online...do you think it stems from my childhood and wanting sex with little girls as a kid and never getting any, tried with my cousin but never did sex and only see her once maybe twice a year and no action with any girls, or would that make me worse as an adult if I really had good childhood and instead got molested myself and got really confused about sexuality....as I said the love interests in the real world make a difference to how I see kids, when their is a love interest, I ###$ up by using something like that to ###$ with my girlfriend who used to cheat on me and go behind my back leading a secret life...the celbrity caught wind of this problem in my life that I haven't got any $#%^ on me anymore but she caught onto it, had bad patch but usually I would be able to step in someone to explain it, I invoke the archangel metatron and some other higher vibrational beings to really know what childhood dev elopment is like I just witnessed some of the filth and what discusting perverts get into and want children in their life for discusting pleasures, I am not like that, as I said I want to make an impression on little ones and rather my impression be something good then discusting rape of innocence, and leading them into metnal illness as adults, I didn nothing of the sort to my cousin, but because I did that I needed to discover myslef and maybe ###$ up curiosity got me into looking this $#%^ up online, since psychiatric treeatments I don't know what to feel about it, I go through changes and evolutionary moments and psych ###$ it up to the point that I was bummed out and wanted dopamine fix and did something bad by getting my collection of material together, since deleted...

Is it ok to be open about this/ Maybe the truth does set us free...alll I can say is I am almost totally free of burden of thinkking I am a pedo even tho its not so long ago I was trying to build up a collection of what was destroyed in evolutionary moments that got ###$ by psychiatry...I remember metatron and think their is other goddess for children especilaly girls, I think I understand them fairly well and have met people that have pic ked up on my problem that say girls when that age are sexually curious and need a father to feel safe with, some weird $#%^ about how girls sometimes develop their mature sexuality from feelings about thier fathers sometimes I get feeling some girls around that age want me to be their dad??not sure but I could never harm a girl who was thinkking like that at such a delicate age, I want to leave a good impression on them. at least some of the girls I meet,that catch wind of it talkk about their sexuality as younger girls, I meet a lot that wree sexually abused in childhood that open up to me about it at least I used to once when meeting girls, I have been open about my confusion and habits looking up this $#%^ and never got in trouble its just something I needed to do, and getting older with it I been through all the pitfalls of picking up on that discusting vibe and not being able to be near children coz I feel so ###$ up and discgusting from it.....Oh yeah I guess I ###$ up when after my girlfreind broke up using a social site that has a lot of underagers claiming to be 18, and developing texting buddies with 16yearolds, I had fun and yeah mighta sent me some dirty $#%^ too. only met up with one messed up chick tured out she been raped and she wanted sex she said she 18 and her freind was 17 but maybe that was a lie, nothing much happened coz a old mate from back in the city called wanting me to room his friend to come down my side of town and he stayed over so ruined my fun I could have had with these girls..for a while I got away with hanging out with 18 year olds I should say when I about 28, no big deal now I am 32its a bit different and gone through psych treatemtn I no longer hot and don't get away with being an 18year old, I feel my age and don't go out....

HOpe its ok I touch on some touchy subjects, talking through them was good,

so wonder what I should do about the bank account, my autee got that but it means admitting to having a strange childhood whith my cousin to come clean about it, having second thoughts about going home for christmas now.....probably shouldn't have said about that $#%^, I hardly even think about it now, just the pedo $#%^ with my cousin brought it all out, maybe more likely my situation is just that I needed to deal with feelings of being a pedo when I first broke down and was guilty about it, I needed good therapy instead of being put on antipyschotics, and after my auntee had her way with my loot she hooked me up with a doctor to sort me out,...thing is she forgot what she did and keeps the secret about my wrongdoings as a teenager, so its hard for it to come out without bringing up stuff to do with going through stages of thinking I am a pedo for what I did to her, but then agian I didn't do anything sick and she's fine, great girl, I just worry too much about it and been on a journey of self discovery over it maybe. psych treatemtns are the lousyest of karmic $#%^ to ever happen in my life, really broke what were evolutionary moments of discovery and bad detour......I know I am not like any of my family memebers as a grandfather was a fully fledged pedo I am not like him at all..not like my Dad its like I changed my DNA and all the $#%^ of how I was brought up and memories that get me sent to the loony bin about being molested as a kid too, just knowing my grandfather probably ###$ with my head and got curious about that side of my sexuality from handed down $#%^ and finding out what he did to all my sisters and cousins really bad and they got ###$ in the head as adults over him so I know how bad that $#%^ is, maybe if he knew what a mess he would be causing he would have thought twice about getting twisted pleasures of little girls...dunno what got me looking that $#%^ up, or its just a trap of the net and people get angry about ever doing it or it was curiosity over my relationship to my grandfather, I was like a kid posessed by a pedo growing up or something, I used to like to get a peak under a grils skirt and try to remember about it masturbating while very young, dunno whata was wrong with me...I certainly got no place to talk about it, as if the clinic woud help me sort through this crap, they wouldn't help, but come to think of it its important for proving a motive for what my auntee did.......

Yeah the Celebrity knows about this trash I probably shouldn't have said here, but I wanted to show her when she was coming on strong, maybe a way to get rid of her or just wnating to share a dark corner of my life, it means very little to me now and she is all I really needed to catalyse a change in my life, transcendent opportunities and really sorting through my $#%^, not really happening too well at the moment from antipsychotics.....should have lost her with that but I didn't, she knows I am more then this or divine messengers got the message accross that this is all a mistake and psychiatry is actually to blame for me ######6 up in how my dealing with guilt about my cousin and grandfather manifested in my life, I have doubts about other family members around kids too and he was an influence when I broke up with the girl and got into it again...what a ###$ up period of time but I learnt my lesson and really needed to purge that $#%^ from my system, then it comes up agian and then becausee of psychiatry desensitised to it until I can get off antipsychotics and make a change in my life, that happened once and did actually get rid of that $#%^ from my life, went on evolutionary potentials and landed in hosptial again and out and back searching to replace it, I think they got on their file because my dad told them I had got into child-porn from when I got this magazine with a girl that looked 16 and had a fear trip over it. Maybe it would be good to talk about it more with them, at least see if I can get the point accross taht antipsychotics make for negative changes in karmic evolution and integrity, dunno how they are too ignorant to hear the truth.....

hope I don't go on about this, its really nothing to worry about and not the concern of anyone else, I just felt like being open about it.

Maybe I shouldn't have wrote about that here, or maybe its good to be open about it