Permanent brain damage from antipsychotics?

I tried posting something similar on another psychiatry website and ended up getting banned. I assume that it was because it was a pro-med website. This forum seems a bit more open-minded.

About 8 months ago, I was forcefully detained by a Mental Hospital against my will for a completely non-violent incident, and diagnosed with 'schizoaffective disorder'. I was put on an OTO and forced to take Haldol via injection for about four months. I switched to Invega during the last month I was on the outpatient treatment order, and then moved out of state for a month in order to cancel the OTO. I have been off of all medications for a little over 3 months, but I am still experiencing many negative effects of the antipsychotics, including, but not limited to:

Complete lack of emotion (I can still express false emotion to some degree to suit how I used to act, but I cannot feel anything personally)
Stunted intelligence (I am no longer able to experience deep thought or strong logic like I used to, and am stuck clinging to what I used to know instead of being able to formulate new ideas. My IQ used to be over 200, now it has sunk to around 100)
Complete lack of creativity (I used to make a living off of music and painting, now I cannot create anything unique to save my life)
Lack of social ability (Even typing this message out takes ten times longer than it used to. I used to enjoy having arguments and discussions, but I now find that a practical impossibility, because my opinions are no longer dynamic or worth fighting for)
Lack of empathy (I used to be able to 'feel' other people's emotions and respond accordingly; now I simply must guess based on their facial expressions alone, which impedes my interpersonal relationships significantly)
Lack of motivation and sense of accomplishment (Some of this may have to do with the realizations that led to my first 'manic' state, but not all of it)
Slowed metabolism
No sex drive
Distortion of true sensory perception
Etc.

To anyone that has gotten off of antipsychotic medications: Does this ever go away, or is it permanent? If it is not permanent, is there anything at all I can do to speed up the process of renewal? I no longer trust psychiatry whatsoever, so prescription medications are out of the question. I have tried stimulants and marijuana rather liberally, and though they do provide some temporary (if not complete) relief, they ultimately do nothing to truly fix the problem

I seek to return to the true state of humanity so that I may enlighten my brothers and sisters, but that is an impossibility in my current state.

Note that if you wish to blame my 'illness' for my current mental state, you may as well leave the thread. That is pure ignorance and bull**** pedaled by psychiatrists to justify forcing their destructive chemicals upon innocent human beings.

It can take a while and can be chronic. I'd stay away from other drugs while your body heals.

Hey Chrysaor,

I don't know if the medication you took has damaged the nervous tissue of your brain or if the changes you are describing have resulted from prolonged stress and disturbances in mood. However, our brains are not fixed structures that set the limits on our cognitive and emotional functions. Practice doing certain tasks that use certain neuronal and biochemical pathways can induce changes to those pathways increasing their function. If you're interested you can read about neuroplasticity, Hebbian synapses and long term potentiation. All are known processes that show that we can change the structure and function of our brain.

So there is hope. Just try to stay consistent doing a little bit each day, talking to people, working on your art, reading, writing and so on. Assuming you've really lost your intelligence, creativity and insight, it'll come back.

However, just as doing certain things can induce changes to your brain so too can stress and psychosis. If you're getting overwhelmed with things or you start to become psychotic get help.

Hope you feel better. Sorry to hear you went through so much. Take care.

I can definitely attest that this is the result of medication. No amount of stress or disturbance can cause this. In fact, I find it impossible to feel 'stress' in the traditional sense. I find it impossible to feel anything at all anymore.

I can no longer exercise certain neural pathways. It is as if they are blocked off or damaged completely. Emotion is the main concern, as it is simply a reaction to events or stimuli. You cannot practice emotion, it simply happens based on your perception of things. Since it cannot happen for me, I cannot strengthen my brain's emotional response through practice. Every other problem basically stems from this.

Writing and artistry are so difficult that I often don't even try unless it is of utmost importance to my well-being. Without emotional response (and thus a sense of accomplishment), the effort becomes so abstract that it is quite difficult to grasp. Reading no longer 'resonates' with me, as I only have a husk of a moral stance or conscience left, and practically no sense of humor (though I can still laugh at things I would've perceived as funny). I tend to forget practically everything I read now unless it somehow supports my ultimate goal, as nothing holds any weight.

Social interaction is a twofold problem. Part of it stems from my lack of emotion and empathy due to antipsychotics, and part of it stems from my supposed 'illness'. People are so brainwashed by and obsessed with their society that it's pretty much all they talk about, to some degree or another. Yet society is the source of every evil, and the ultimate source of corruption. This is not a delusion, it is a realization that led to my ascension to a higher state of being. I can hardly relate to 'normal' people, nor do I wish to. I simply wish to educate them so that they, too, can realize this higher state of being that has been hidden from them through subversion and brainwashing, yet I cannot convince anyone of anything without a high degree of intelligence, logic, insight, and empathy (which I no longer possess). Normal everyday conversation sickens me (or rather, I recognize that it should), and it always has, at least subconsciously.

My problem is not that I'm overwhelmed by things, it's that I'm severely underwhelmed because of my brain's destroyed potential. I revel in my 'psychosis'. I will not seek 'help', as this 'help' is incredibly destructive.

Chrysaor686 wrote:I cannot convince anyone of anything without a high degree of intelligence, logic, insight, and empathy (which I no longer possess).

I really doubt this. Based on your writing, it doesn't seem to be the case that you have "stunted intelligence" and no insight. You seem to have an understanding of how you feel now relative to how you used to feel, a coherent and plausible account of why you feel this way, and a theory of the broader social forces that may be responsible for these problems. Maybe you used to be a super-genius like Galton, Einstein or Wittgenstein and you've regressed towards the mean but I don't think you're really dumb and out-of-the-loop like you seem to be implying.

Chrysaor686 wrote:I can no longer exercise certain neural pathways. It is as if they are blocked off or damaged completely. Emotion is the main concern, as it is simply a reaction to events or stimuli. You cannot practice emotion, it simply happens based on your perception of things. Since it cannot happen for me, I cannot strengthen my brain's emotional response through practice. Every other problem basically stems from this.

Maybe you have damaged neural pathways as a result of antipsychotic treatment and you will feel emotionally blunted for the rest of your life. That's possible. Another possibility would be that the events and experiences of your life have altered your perception which have caused you to feel emotionally blunted. Being forcibly drugged, told that you are mentally disordered, believing that your brain is damaged beyond repair, distrusting society and lacking any substantive social relationships can certainly make you feel pretty blunted. Right?

Again, I don't know which is the case, maybe both possibilities are false, but you have a choice about how to think about what's possible for the rest of your life and how you think about that is going to influence things. It's not normal for someone in your position to feel great or even just okay. Most people after experiencing what you've described feel awful. However, that doesn't mean that's always going to be the case. If people who have suffered head or cerebro-vascular can recover, I think someone who was on antipsychotic medication for 4 months can recover (assuming you really have damage to the nervous tissue of your brain).

Take care and best wishes.

Scientific Proof: Antipsychjotics Shrink Brain http://www.ahrp.org/cms/content/view/772/9/

Did FDA Include Evidence of Brain Damage Caused by Antipsychotics? http://www.ahrp.org/cms/content/view/606/9/

Evidence of Neuroleptic Drug-Induced Brain Damage in Patients:A partial, Annotated Bibliographyby Vera Hassner Sharav http://www.ahrp.org/risks/biblio0100.php

Chrysaor686 wrote:I have been off of all medications for a little over 3 months, but I am still experiencing many negative effects of the antipsychotics, including, but not limited to:

Complete lack of emotion (I can still express false emotion to some degree to suit how I used to act, but I cannot feel anything personally)

I went through this after Zyprexa , the addictive "benzo nueroleptic" from hell. I turned to adderal to get my feelings back and clonopin to deal with the Zyprexa withdrawal panic attacks and wicked insomnia at the time. Getting off the adderal and especially the clonopin was another nightmare.

This nightmare was a few years ago and I might be "back to normal" I do get mentaly tired as writing long posts does take alot of effort but my motivation and emotions did come back after the nightmare of zyprexa was over. Things like music and stepping on the gas in the car produce that "yee ha" feeling once again as opposed to when on that evil Zyprexa when nothing in this world had any feel good effect.

Eli Lilly $1.42 Billion Zyprexa Settlement - Stephen Sheller on Fox News http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHolKz6SZDs

These Big pharma criminals should be in prison.

^^ I agree (prison).

Uh and to OP, I am/was in a similar situation as you; drugged on risperdal. I have started to feel a little better. As Jester said, sometimes the situational impact can have an effect on how you feel. Keep working on your self. I know that it takes time. As for perhaps speeding up the renewal, I am not sure but I have read some peer-reviewed articles that clozapine can perhaps reverse at least pseudo-irreversible 5ht7 receptor blockade.

I however know what you mean. I was definitely a lot more happy/myself/enlightened/going for my dreams before I got "locked up". My family wanted me dumbed down; though they will never admit it. My dad's side of the family is pretty different compared to normal people. I don't even think they have meaning in their life. It seems they just go through the motions everyday. It seems though a lot of people are that way.

I was on haldol injections and experienced more physical symptoms such as muscle and facial twitching, lip tremors and a lot of akasthesia but cogentin remedied the akasthesia. It's funny your post sounds very intelligent even tho you say your not very smart anymore..actually your post sounds more like a dissertation than a post, you sound like someone working on a ph.d...anyways I have a lot of experience with haldol but when I went off it the first time the physical side effects went away after about four or five weeks

Guy... look into neuroplasticity.