Permanent brain damage from antipsychotics?

I would not respect a CTO. How did they get you on it? Here they can't do that unless you're a "danger" to yourself or others (and I know they define "danger" in very broad terms) or are "likely to deteriorate significantly." What country are you in? I can look up the specific rules and look for loopholes or legal strategies to get you out. What they are doing to you (and I suspect many others) is criminal.

I have been blessed with tremendous discipline and willpower, and courage, and a willingness (and even eagerness) to wage total war for my freedom. I have that fire in my soul and I can and do use it as a flamethrower.

I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

And that is not negotiable.

the only loopphole is to admit that i have a mental illness and agree to take the medication at the dose its at, gotta enjoy the medication.

they say i am at risk to myself if I dont take the medication they think I will become unwell and need to be hosptiaalised, don;t know how they thinkk they know thata though, they even think I would become unwell on the lowest dose.....sux.

I'm sure there are more loopholes, there always are, especially in the legal aspects. Your psychs will never tell you these, though.

Damn, I wish I were there to advocate, I would tear these doctors to ribbons. Everyone is different, something they seem to have forgotten. There's no way they can predict your future, with meds or without, and to think so is delusional itself.

How good are you at lying?

MrOmega wrote:Guy... look into neuroplasticity.

sixprime » I'm not sure I that trust any advice coming from Pol Pot.

He was Charles Manson once. Would you take advice from Charlie??

green m+m wrote:He was Charles Manson once. Would you take advice from Charlie??

Pshaw, that's penny ante stuff. He should switch it to Stalin.



Isn't he a nice man?

I was on invega s ustenna for a year. The doctor never told me why she picked that medicine and I am diagnosed as bipolar but that medicine is advertised for schizophrenia. So I thought that was weird but it wad like she didn't want to talk about it. I have been off of it for four months under my doctor's supervision. I feel much better off of it. she keeps trying to push meds on me even when I say I have no complaints at all. I have never told the doctor that I felt bad. She talked to my dad and prescribed me medicine based on whatever he said. I will never know what he said. He went to court with his lawyer and made himself my legal guardian(even though I was 20 at the time) because he wanted to put me in a mental hospital. He is a very strict Baptist and after I moved out of hos house I went crazy rebellious and experienced everything I was never allowed to. My dad thought I was just crazy. So anyway, I have been off the invega s ustenna for four months. He doesn't know but my doctor does. I have noticed that I like twitch a lot mostly my hands. It doesn't really bother me but once in a while I notice it. I dont feel the same as I did before I know what you mean. Its like I dont really pay attention and enjoy everything going on around me. When I talk to people, I can laugh and carry on a normal conversation. But I can tell something is different. I think it gradually gets better. I am in college getting good grades but its like I am so afraid to mess up because I know the first thing he is going to think is "is she off her meds?" Its so ridiculous. Once you are labeled you are held to higher standards which makes you more likely to mess up.

Narshe81 wrote:I'm really sorry to hear that. I do agree with you wholeheartedly that paliperidone causes damage. I suffer from a really bad case of anhedonia. I have been thinking about suing too if I don't feel better, but just like you I feel overwhelmed by it all because they are so big. I really doubt there is anything we can do legally which really saddens me.

I just want to feel better. I don't care about winning any lawsuits. I don't even know how many more months I will have to feel like this before I recover if ever. I am scared to death and feels like my life was over when I was 31 when this all happened last year.

How about your mental state? Can you feel pleasure, joy, excited etc. again? Do you have motivation and willpower back? How many months did it all come to you?

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but I'm a bit freaked out by all this.

Hi Narshe81, this is Spokety, I was wondering how are you doing now? Have you improved like the person who made this discussion? or are you feeling just as numb as before? I have felt like you for over a year now. I am working together with an alternative supplement psychiatrist to slowly and safely get off anti-psychotics because like both of you have said, the symptoms are nothing less then torturous. Life is not worth living in this state. It is simply the most horrifying feeling, worse then death.

Narshe81 wrote:I'm really sorry to hear that. I do agree with you wholeheartedly that paliperidone causes damage. I suffer from a really bad case of anhedonia. I have been thinking about suing too if I don't feel better, but just like you I feel overwhelmed by it all because they are so big. I really doubt there is anything we can do legally which really saddens me.

I just want to feel better. I don't care about winning any lawsuits. I don't even know how many more months I will have to feel like this before I recover if ever. I am scared to death and feels like my life was over when I was 31 when this all happened last year.

How about your mental state? Can you feel pleasure, joy, excited etc. again? Do you have motivation and willpower back? How many months did it all come to you?

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but I'm a bit freaked out by all this.

Hello Narshe81 spokety hear. I was wondering if you have started feeling better like Chrysaor has? I have the same symptoms as you except I'm still on anti-psychotics I've been on them for over a year now. With the exception of the first couple of months I have felt complete anhedonia the whole time. It is torture, worse then death. I have no emotions whatsoever and nothing I do can make me feel even the slightest bit better. It's not something you can work on to improve, because it is like a cement wall it's unbreakable. I feel like my whole body is made of cold unbreakable ice and that is blocking me from feeling any type of emotions.

Chrysaor686 wrote:I just experienced sleep paralysis last night, and during this experience, I felt a wave of extreme euphoria quite unlike anything I've felt before. Pure ecstasy pulsing throughout my body. Now that I've woken up, I feel better than I have in almost a year (it's almost like a residual high; my pain that was intensified by the antipsychotics is lessened and I almost feel like I'm floating, compared to how I felt before). Though I still don't respond to stimuli and am still incapable of strong logic, it's definitely a step in the right direction.

There seems to be some hope after all.

Hi Chrysaor, I'm glad your feeling better. I had that feeling also before I was hospitalized and I miss it of course. I had some questions. Do you fear being committed again? Because one thing I fear about going off medications is the prospect of being in and out of hospitals for the rest of my life. Numb and free, numb and free, for the rest of my life. Which is not a life, it's a torturous experience of never ending suffering. Obviously being numb and and emotionless some of the time is better then all of the time, but what are your thoughts about that? Do you fear being put back in a hospital. Because then they can just put you back on these horrible meds again. And they can even put you on a program where you are forced to take your meds. Or if you go nuts like one of these schizophrenics with voices and end up killing someone. Then you are committed to a hospital, tried, and put to jail for life, and forced to take meds for life. I mean the fact that that is a possibility scares the crap out of me, because that is truly worse then death, SO much worse. What do you think about those horrible possibilities?

My brain's chemistry was altered by an antipsychotic as well, it felt like my mind was melting for an hour or so...had to go to the emergency room...Some therapists out there are really skilled at dealing with situations like this, and they have success stories...that would be my suggestion to you...
Here's a website with some alternative ideas for other treatments for autism, but also schizophrenia, which your condition somewhat mimics. If anyone has any ideas about drugs that could potentially help our case, please let me know.
http://epiphanyasd.blogspot.com/