Hospitalization please give me your views

I am involved with looking after a young woman who has anorexia.
At the moment her health is not in great danger but she is very much underweight. Her parents are worried that unless she starts eating "properly" she will need to be hospitalised.
The mother has heard mixed reports about the cycle of going in and out of hospitals. The hope that she will receive a set counselling pattern which she refuses at the moment, seems to be the only benefit.
We are also afraid that she will learn of the use of laxatives and maybe even purging both of which she is unaware of at the moment.
Can anyone give us any advise on any of these points.
The young women is herself refusing the thought of hospitalisation so it would be pretty much against her will if it had to happen.

Any experiences : thoughts etc, would be greatly appreciated

I would research the counselors in your area...find one that deals a great deal w/ eating disorders and anorexia...I think your better bet is to find someone who's speciatly is working w/ patients in this area rather then a counselor who dabbles in a little of a multiple of mental illnesses and illnesses. I would start w/ outpatient counseling/family counseling and discuss the option and your questions and concerns about hospitalization w/ not only the counselor you select to work w/....but this girl's family physician as well. You say she's not in great danger now....but to some degree...she is. The longer she goes w/out medical intervention, the worse her situation and health will become and the harder it will be to help her.

I have mixed views about hospital. In some ways I found it damaging because there are people in there who have a bad attitude but there is also a lot of good support. A lot depends on the hospital itself, how aware the staff are of the real dynamics of the patients all the time - not just in the structured settings of groups etc.

If you are determined not to get better, you could get a lot worse in some places. Unfortunately you have to be a bit savvy to be aware of the atmosphere if you visit a place. It's hard to get a clear picture by visiting. It might help to talk to a few of the patients but you need to really know what to look for.

On the plus side, I have seen some really 'hard-core' patients change beyond belief just by being in a really good hospital. Personally I was expected to die but turned it around in one long admission between two hospitals even though at first I didn't even want to be helped. Apparently for many people just regaining a healthy weight can be enough to start them on a new path again. It also makes a lot of difference how early the intervention comes. The earlier a person gets structured intensive help, the better the prognosis generally.

I am not an expert - this is just my own experience and things I've heard. I hope it's some help.

Something that helped me most in the hospital was having people who understood what I was really experiencing. The worst part was the few patients who wanted to make a competition out of killing themselves. Fortunately the staff were fairly good at dealing with this.

Another thing is that I could never have gained weight on my own. It makes a huge difference having 24 hour support who is not your family. There is always an ojective and supportive ear around. There is no complicated relationship stuff to navigate and make it harder and increase the guilt. And the place is geared up for your reaction.

There are people who go in and out but from what I saw, it seems that some people just take a longer time to get to the point where they can use the help. If this is the case, it is distressing but at least they are getting the input. For me, all the counselling etc might have appeared not to be helping me, but it seemed to build up inside me until it passed a sort of critical threshold where I could use it to do something different. It also takes a lot of introspection and things.

There are so many different regimes in hospitals. Hopefully though the intervention, though not perfectly suited to someon, is good enough to help enough to start someone getting better. Ultimately though I think it depends on many things, including the persons readiness to be helped. Generally though, the shorter the illness has been present, the more accessible it is to intervention. No matter how it may seem. I have been ill for 20 years and I got helped by it so there's always hope.

I'd say keep trying with counselling but don't be too afraid of hospitalisation. If things get to that stage, it may become unavoidable so just do the best you can with the choices available. If you get to choose, go have a look and ask questions and talk to people. But there is only so much you can do. The good thing is that the help doesnt need to be perfect to be helpful. The most important thing is to be aware of what attitudes can be unhelpful and try to look out for these when you look at the options available.

I hope this is of some help

Dear Guest,

Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with me, you have no idea how helpful it has been to have an "insiders" view of this distressing situation.

I wish you all the best in the future
Carer