Do I have an eating disorder?

I've always been shy and suffered from low self confidence. Over the past year it has gradually got worse. I always seem to automatically think in my head that people hate me and don't want to speak to me. I also have bad trust issues where I find it extremely hard to trust people which results in me bottling up everything. I have friends but I find it impossible to become close to most of them, because of how shy I am, so I get lonely a lot. I get paranoid a lot and I always seem to think that people dislike me or that when I gain a friendship I will lose it sooner or later because I'm not good enough. I hate what I look like and I am obsessed with how people view me so I am always nice in every situation no matter the circumstance, even if people are being unreasonable or unkind. I find it difficult to express my feelings and emotions to people, so I always act like I'm really happy even though I'm not, and I avoid big social situations. Over time this has made me become obsessed with controlling things in my life because I constantly feel as I'm losing control of everything. Whenever I feel as I'm losing control of my life and losing things I care about then I stop eating, the longest I did it for was 4 days. I never have the daily recommended calorie intake and I never have breakfast and only lunch if I am feeling in a good mood. I eat my dinner because I don't want my mum getting suspicious and on average I consume about *edited* a day. Also, if something bad happens I make myself throw up anything I have eaten before. Its like a self punishment thing. I would say I make myself sick about once every two weeks, but sometimes more. I like the feeling of being hungry because it takes my mind of my problems, but I do eat. I currently *edited*. The thing is though I don't view my body as obese, its not about my appearance but more about control, which makes me wonder if I actually have a problem. Thank you for anyone who has read all of this, I really appreciate it. could someone please help?:/

Hey CharlotteEmily,

Nobody here can diagnose you, but from what you've written it does sound like you have some disordered patterns to your eating. The good news is that you seem to be relatively new to these behaviours and your chances of a full recovery are much higher. I hope that you'll consider getting this addressed sooner rather than later. The issue of feeling out of control/gaining control through eating is almost universal for people with eating disorders.

ladyswan wrote:Hey CharlotteEmily,

Nobody here can diagnose you, but from what you've written it does sound like you have some disordered patterns to your eating. The good news is that you seem to be relatively new to these behaviours and your chances of a full recovery are much higher. I hope that you'll consider getting this addressed sooner rather than later. The issue of feeling out of control/gaining control through eating is almost universal for people with eating disorders.

thank you so much for your help