Something else.

Well, I've noticed that I haven't been eating all that much lately. Things at home have gotten really ###$ up and I've been coming "home" expecting anger and yelling and threats of being kicked out. I live with my uncle and his pregnant girlfriend, and so everything seems to be blown out of proportion. I'm completely dependent on them, and other than my friends that my family don't approve of, I have nowhere but shelters to go to (my mum is renting a small basement suite which I can't stay at, and my dad's out of the picture).
So, I've noticed a couple of nervous "ticks" when I'm home or thinking about the situation. I lose my appetite, even if I haven't eaten for a while. I start to scratch at my skin or scalp. I get cold in the extremities and I get pains in my abdomen (more towards my iliac crests). I'm not sure what to do about the situation anymore because although I've been doing everything we'd agreed upon for my staying here, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. They've gotten mad at me for not being home right after school everyday and hanging out with my friends more than with them. I've been going back into the routine of coming straight home every day, sometimes not even going back out because I'm too scared of asking. But when I'm here, they also don't seem to want me.
Anyway... I guess the point of this is that I don't know how to stop this onset of anorexia and I can't get out of the situation without basically renouncing my place in the family. I'd like some help... I've convinced myself that I don't deserve the food or meal because I'm taking up their resources and that I'm not worth wasting anymore time and energy from them because they've guilted me about it.

Hi hun,

Welcome to the forum!

First, let me say that no matter what that negative voice in your head is telling you, you are always worth the time and effort of being respected as a human being. Period. That includes needs that you have in order to have a balanced life.

I'm sorry that your living situation is so precarious. That has to be stressful, and it sounds like it's taking a toll on your mental health. Having so many demands on you makes it harder, because it seems like you're being set up to fail in some way. Either by not meeting an expectation (coming straight home from school) or being forced to be entirely dependent on someone else. That's stressful, even for an adult.

How's your support network? Do you have people you can confide in, like your friends or a counsellor?

Those "ticks" you're getting is a way for all your negative feelings to come out. Anxiety, depression, anger; they need an outlet. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you feel take the pressure off?

You are worth the food and energy. There's also plenty enough of both to go around and you are not being overbearing by claiming your share.

Take care, and please keep posting.