URGENT

Sorry to bother you guy's with this, but i'm feeling pretty desperate right now...
I feel at my wits end, Ive had enough, and i'm seriously considering hanging myself..and part of me is scared because part of me doesn't want to, but the way i'm feeling right now.. I don't trust myself...thinking about doing such a thing no longer scares me..i'm not afraid to take my own life..its just that part of me doesn't want to give up...but i feel i'm finding very little to hang onto and its fading at a very rapid rate...If i don't find something to cling onto..i'm not going to be here for much longer...
So please just give me something to hold onto...please...

I'm so tired, mentally and emotionally I already feel like ive climbed a mountain for somebody who is only 21 years of age..but I can't carry on like this...i can't go threw it again. My eating has gotten worse again..and i just can't do it! I feel like i'm not really willing to get better, i don't have the mental strength... but i'm also not willing to suffer threw it again either. I feel as if ive got nothing, nothing to get me out of bed in the morning, no purpose in the world...all i have is my eating disorder..all i live for is my eating disorder...and i'm fed up of fighting...i'm tired...its plagued my life on and off since the age of 13..and each lapse has taken its toll and left its mark..and I feel like i'm done..i can't take anymore of it..its like torture.

Really huge hugs hon

I am so sorry you are feeling so desperate. There is hope that things can get better but you do need to take some steps now. Please do one of the following

Go to someone else who lives with you and tell them you have plans to commit suicide and go with them to the ER

Call a friend and ask them to come over and tell them the same and go to the ER

Go to the ER on your own.

It would be preferable to go with someone but if there is no one immediately to go with then go on your own. When you get there tell them what you are planning and ask for help.

You can get through this and there is definitely hope. You are reaching out here and that is a big deal - it shows that there is some part of you, however small that wants to survive. Let that part be dominant for now.

Please let us know that you are on your way to hospital hon - thank you.

Cracked

First of all, you are not a bother. At all. You are doing a great job at reaching out but, to echo what Cracked said, you need to get some help. You need to go to the ER, either with a friend/family member, and tell them what you're planning so they can help you. You are strong and you can get through this. Your life is so valuable and you deserve to get help. You are so worth it, hon!

Like Cracked said, please let us know that you're on your way to the hospital.

Huge hugs!

-Parker

Dear Alexandra,

Sorry things are so desperate for you right now and I think CrackedGirls advice to you is really solid in terms of handling your current situation. The way I view suicide is that it's one (but thankfully not the only) way of trying to escape turmoil - e.g. from things like the eating disorder itself/external problems and/or 'you with you'. I think you mentioned that you were taken to see someone recently and they suggested you just eat something - Perhaps they were referring to the low mood that comes with restriction but they didn't perhaps realise that it's not quite as straightforward as that! They could have asked you instead, what restricting (and any other behaviours you use) gives you - I think it's a question worth exploring.

BW, Caroline

Hi Alexandra,

How are you doing now?