Confused Please Read

Hi
I was diagnosed with anorexia when i was 7 and it lasted till i was 9. I was really depressed about school and hated it for reasons i can no longer remember and decided i was overweight even though i was skinny. When i got home or when my parents were not around i would take chocolate biscuits and crisps to my room and gorge myself on them till i felt sick. Then i would never eat any breakfast lunch or dinner and would instead push the food round the plate. i lost a considerable amount of weight and still sometimes look at my self in the mirror and think i need to lose weight evn though im now 16. Im really confused because even though i was skeletal i dont know whether i really did have anorexia because i still ate food. Can anyone help me put my mind at rest please.

Thanks

I am not sure about anorexia in children as it is a very specialist area, but in adults it is based on BMI and not on what you eat. What I would say tho is whatever the name of the eating disorder you had it was an eating disorder by the sounds of it. Did you ever have any help with this? How are you doing now?

Cracked

Thanks, I still think about it a lot and always question whether or not i did have an ED. yeah i did have help from my parents who were great and from a specialist and doctors at the hospital. Im ok now, im a healthy normal wieght and height and have never had a relapse since even though i still sometimes look in the mirror and hate they way i look, but who doesnt?

I hope you continue to stay well - and also get to a point where you dont hate yourself when you look in the mirror.

Hugs

Cracked

I certainly had signs of an eating disorder already at the age of 7. What you were doing with your food was more bulimic than anorexic. But I would advise at this point that you stop focusing on trying to find a label for what you did in the past unless the behavior starts again.

What I really wanted to tell you is, no, it's not normal to look in the mirror and hate what you see. I'm not a psychologist and I can't comment with authority on how adolescents generally feel about themselves when they look in the mirror but I really don't think most 16 year olds have that kind of self hatred. I don't believe you have to live with that. Perhaps if you told your parents how you felt they would help you with therapy? I really believe you're suffering needlessly and there is a way that you can begin to love yourself.