.. i think i might have an eating disorder...

this is my first time posting in here .. so umm .. here goes ..



okay .. so ive always had low self-esteem and really low self-confidence and everything like that .. but lately it seems like i have like ZERO .. for like the past couple months ive been like totally obsessed with my weight and my body and things like that .. like i constantly weigh myself and im always thinking about how fat i am or how much weight i need to lose .. and its like now im scared to eat .. i haven't eaten in the past two weeks .. all i live off of are slim-fast bars and bottled water .. sumtimes i let myself eat every other weekend and then work my butt off after .. i dunno .. it just seems like im never good enough for myself anymore .. and i get so depressed .. its like i want to be perfect .. and i kno that nobody can be but its like its a goal of mine or sumthing .. it seems like the thought of food or eating makes me sick to my stomach .. im starting to like freak myself out because ive never let my eating habits get this bad .. and it started getting progressively worse around the beginning of the year .. i just cant seem to bring myself to eat at all .. and if i ever do eat i feel like i wanna cry my eyes out ..

.. am i getting an eating disorder ?
.. i dunno .. jus really need somebody to talk to about it and id really appreciate if someone would .. thanks so much !!

if u have aim PLZ im me !! sn: xtwiztedstepa07x

xothatshowiroll,
You do seem to have a lot of the criteriea for having an ED. I'm not a qualified professional. It would be best if you could get involved in therapy. A Good therapist can do you wonders!
Kathy

xo

I agree with the need for professional help. Self-esteem is one of the issues often in the background with EDs. A good therapist can help you better understand yourself and the basis for the problem. From there, you will discover how to slay this terrible beast. Dont let denial, or anything else stand in the way of help .JOHN

well if i wanted to go into therapy i'd have to tell my mom and i dont feel like i can tell her because she wouldn't understand .. and then people might find out and stuff like that and i don't think i could handle all of that .. but anywyas heres a kind of random question .. don't you have to be really skinny to be considered an anorexic ?

thanks guys

The question is a good one and often confused. The disease begins with the preoccupation with food and weight. It is only a matter of time until you start the lower the weight at which you will find acceptable. I know this is hard to talk to your parents about. However, believe me as a parent myself, I can assure you theywill want to know about this. They will respect your courage to deal with this problem. If their reaction is to ignore the problem or to get mad...then I would talk to a close adult family member, member of your church or similar person. I will assure you this usually doesnt get better without some professional help. Deal with it sooner than later. I am a physician, although not a psychiatrist and have a good background in this and similar problems. This is the time to show the courage and do as I say.

ya i know it'd be better to deal with my problem now but i just can't see myself telling my mom something like this .. i mean i hardly even talk to her at all better yet come up to her and be like mom i think im getting an eating disorder and stuff like that .. and even if i did i know she'd think i was like crazy or something .. i have a crazy fear of like rejection and if i dont think i can do something (( like tell people i know about all this )) then i'd rather not do it at all .. at least then i don't have to face all the crap that comes afterwards and her looking at me different .. if that makes any sense ..

It does make sense but you cant rid yourself of the problem alone. Is there some other adult at school or elsewhere that could help??

no .. well i'll probably find a way to pull myself through .. i handle all my other problems by myself 'cause im pretty independent and i dont like people worrying about me or stressing over me ..