why do you want to be thin?

I don't want to be thin, I "need" to be thin! Drastic measure are in the works. Not a good place for me to go...It's dark and will take away from the light I've come to see...but down the rabbit hole I go. Not fast enough.

I want to be thin because I think I would look way better and my family would be proud of me.

I also want to be thin to avoid diabetes.

But the main reason I want to be thin is because I'm horrified about fat shaming and want to escape the wrath of typical jerks.

I don't think there is an exact reason. I think it is a big melting pot of personal moments, confused preconceptions, curiosity, cultural idealization, disheartening observations, and a means to cope with myself. To deal with myself. Being thin serves as a way to indirectly express my pain, resentment, and self-hatred because I'm afraid to do that with words. I'm afraid that the people I want to care, won't care, and in return that would somehow prove that I am unlovable. Nobody wants to feel unlovable. I have felt that rejection before, that sense of abandonment, and it just makes me want to dissolve into the atmosphere.

The pursuit to be thin, excessively thin, is often slow. One of the things I find so addicting about it is the way it numbs you. You may realize that the people you so longed for to care lack any genuine concern. Yet, that suddenly means nothing to you, or at least it does to me. I get so isolated, so consumed with my control over food and weight, that nothing else seems to matter anymore. My personality and relationships deteriorate. It is both a terrible and enticing way to deal with the world.

I want to be thin because in my mind it means I have discipline, I'll look better, be able to pull off more outfits, be more confident and over all be happier.

My beauty perceptions are also a little warped for various reasons, for one there's general media but I was also a model for a little while, where the standards are very high and you're expected to be very thin.

I used to always be known as the thin girl but as I got older I put on weight. It makes me feel like a total failure. Being skinny means success.

thunderseed wrote:, because it's how I felt on the inside. I wanted to look like an emaciated sexless creature that had no happiness in its eyes because that's how I truly felt. It was like I wanted to portray my deepest misery by looking like a skeleton. I fixated on being thin because it reminded me of just how ugly I felt, if that makes any sense. And it fulfilled me because it gave me attention, even if that attention wasn't positive attention.
When I was a child I underwent many painful surgeries but I learned that in order to get attention and love from people, I had to be either sick, in pain or suffering. Anorexia gave me everything and it made me feel like I was powerful. Being thin was never a way to look good, it fulfilled a sick attention seeking part of me that wanted to be "worse off" because I thought the only way I would ever be loved or liked as a person was to have something wrong with me. And starving myself to death gave me that control over everything in my life that had spiralled out of control.

i have this forum to vent about things i can not say in people in life.i know if i tell these things in people in real life they will judge me. and i just tell them what they want to hear. but here i do not have to censor myself.
that is so true people when you are unbearably sad do not care at all. they only care when you are physically sick.somehow is like they are provoking you to prove how sad you feel but i can not be physically sick because i have to work,i do not want to be homeless .also probably i am a coward and i can't hurt myself.
i find me ugly when i am very thin too. although i wouldn't mind dying/a way to die . but thin is more bearable from gaining weight.
i think that is one of the very few things that makes me kind of more good looking and not completely ugly and if i gain weight i am going to be so ugly i couldn't stand it.if i gain weight i feel like a monster,so ugly i can't stand myself. i am disgusted by myself if i gain weight.
while in others i like when they are not too thin i find them beautiful and attractive honestly.i only see the problem in myself.
i am not anorexic, i just have a thing with weight.

also if feels like it is a statement that i am sad. i want to show someway that i am sad. i do not know if that makes sense i can't really explain it.
i do not say these things to other people.of course. i know they will judge me and not understand me

Control. I need to be in charge of my life and so much of it has been dominated by others, that this is what I resort to. :/

i have an awful body image and low self esteem. losing weight makes me feel better about myself and i feel more attractive. i used to be underweight as a child and when i entered my teens all the weight i had put on was a huge shock. not a lot of things bring me joy throughout the day but stepping on the scale and seeing my weight decrease makes me happy.

I, as others have said, relate it to beauty and control and for me I kind of get a sense of euphoria when I've lost weight if that makes sense? so I guess it's sort of like a drug?

i want to be thin because i fell dirty, ulgy, extra. i don't exactly know how to explain it i just feel clean if when i am thin. i feel gross if i eat too much and at the end of the day if my stomach looks bloated i feel horrible about it and i promise myself the next day i will not eat too much junk food. i have been skinny all my life and i am terrified of gaining weight. gaining weight during pregnancy was scary for me, uncontrollable. i guess i like to feel like i am in control and if my weight changes i feel out of control.

sherryhan wrote:Control. I need to be in charge of my life and so much of it has been dominated by others, that this is what I resort to. :/

I can relate. I have dealt with so many people who can't accept me (even though I accept them) and force me to be carbon copy clones of them. And they're still not happy with me. It's never good enough. I have to be exactly what they want me to be instead of who I choose to be. And they never listen. They insist on being right. So I let them all be right, I give them all the control. All I ask is that I control my eating and my smoking.