problem?

I wouldn't consider myself anorexic, but I know my eating habits are a bit off. I usually eat only after all of my classes are over, which can be anywhere from 11:00 to 3:00. Sometimes I wait a little longer. I've found that not eating keeps me awake (I don't get enough sleep and I don't want to fall asleep in class,) it makes my mind seem clearer and sharper, and it gives me a little bit of a happy high sometimes. I don't do it to lose weight. On the contrary, I'd like to gain some weight. When I do eat, I try to eat as healthy as I can and a eat variety of foods. I eat a lot of icecream to keep my weight up.

Some things have started to worry me though. I expected some things to happen, but I want to know there's nothing seriously wrong. First of all, I've been feeling really faint and everything feels really heavy. Today, my heart felt really strange and it was kind of hard to breathe. My stomach gets this warm feeling. My brain feels fuzzy, even though sometimes starving can make things more clear. I get headaches. Most of these things go away after a few hours of not eating, besides the headaches. It still worries me because I really don't want to pass out in Biology like I felt like I was going to today.

Part of me doesn't care if I'm damaging my body, but part of me does. My friend/roommate is concerned about me. Other people don't know about it. I'm at that point in my life where I just don't care anymore, whether I live or die.

I know you're going to tell me that this is dangerous and I shouldn't fall into it. I know. I don't feel like I have any other options. I haven't cut for a year, so I can't fall back on that. Medication hasn't done anything. I'm in therapy, but I still feel like sh*t all the time. I don't know what else I can do.

your posting in the wrong place. It s not anorexia if your not doing it to lord weight. But you are showing signs of under eating / starvation. To me this seems like a way me self harm, so you may get better advice on stopping and helping on that board.

Sorry. I wasn't sure where to post this since there's no general ED board.

Is there any way to delete this topic?

It's ok, coma. I don't think this topic needs to be deleted, you were just asking about your condition. I hope you are feeling better.

no what ment was i don't think you have any ed. What you describe is a type of self harm not ed.

i have something i would like to poist that is something alot similar to this and if its not in the "eating disorder" section i don't know where to post

Read my post What Changed Everything.

It is a mental illness, things feel out of control (i dealt with it from age 13-20). It's not as simple as eating.

You need to heal you're brain. In anorexics things are going wrong in the self image part of the brain. For many it is a deficiancy in Zinc. Please read my post.

A counsellor also can be a great friend, encourager, and help you remember what is true during this time.

You are beautiful, you just can't see that because your mind is lying to you.

Fight to heal you're brain and you will be not only healthy, but happy about how you look.

I now think I'm pretty, after thinking i was so ugly after so many years.

I believe you can get better.

Love,
Amy