Sometimes shining a light on things is frightening

I've spent a long time brushing off ed behaviors as stomach problems, which I do have, but it's become obvious it's more than that. I need to eat way more often, like 6 times more often, but food disgusts me. The thought of eating makes me feel ill and I don't know how to force myself to eat anyway. I know that it's important, I know, but I just can't do it. Without giving numbers, I am officially obese which makes this harder. It really did start out as trying to get my weight to a healthier point, but no matter how little I eat and how much I exercise it doesn't go away. So I'm in an odd situation and don't know what to do any more. I do medically need to reduce my weight, but I'm not sure I can do it safely and I'm frazzled. I've tried cheese sticks, granola bars, that sort of stuff that I can grab and stuff into my mouth before I can think about it. I change my mind on the way to the next room to grab one though. I bought some protein shake things that are pretty good and that helps some, liquids are easier for me, but even that is too thick sometimes.

People I live with are starting to notice, which is also frustrating because I'm usually good with hiding this sort of stuff, but I've started getting the "when did you eat last" question. I hate that question. I lie about it way more often than I'd like to admit, but that's getting noticed too. People are bringing me food and waiting for me to eat it, which is twice as hard because I can't eat in front of people. It's embarrassing to need to eat. And I know how stupid that sounds, but that's the way I feel and I can't shake it. I would ask the doc that said my weight was too high, but I can't tell anyone about it. This is the first time I've really told anyone this much. (Lucky you guys, get to be guinea pigs lol)

Am just at a loss, and frustrated, and tired. idk what to do anymore.

Weight cannot be reduced by starving. It is a misconception of yours. I think you need to consult weight reduction experts and follow their advice. In the meantime, eat normal low calorie food and continue exercising. Don't starve your cells.

helloagain wrote:Weight cannot be reduced by starving. It is a misconception of yours

Actually, I'm well aware of this and never said otherwise, so I'm not sure where you're getting this from?

Yes, your body goes into starvation mode and so it retains fat in an attempt to keep you from starving, which is why I said I know I need to eat more frequently. I find that keeping up my protein intake is important as that's used to build muscles. You know what my doctor told me when I asked about my weight, but didn't tell him about the ed symptoms, "exercise more, and maybe eat less". That was his "expert advice".

I wanted to come back and apologize for my reaction. You were trying to be helpful and I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry.

Don't worry. It was my fault too. I misunderstood you.

For me, this part in my recovery was the hardest. People were starting to notice and I couldn't brush it off anymore. Just know that it's the start of getting better, and while it's not the best feeling, it'll get easier the further you progress.

helloagain wrote:Don't worry. It was my fault too. I misunderstood you.

Glad things are good.

loneyhear wrote:For me, this part in my recovery was the hardest. People were starting to notice and I couldn't brush it off anymore. Just know that it's the start of getting better, and while it's not the best feeling, it'll get easier the further you progress.

Thank you. Congrats on recovery, it's not easy at all. Things have been up and down with this, but overall I have been eating healthier.

Appreciate you guys' input.

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