Living with a Loved One with A.N.

For the last 5 years I have been with a woman with a history of A.N. We have had a child for the last 2. Though she has not starved herself during the time we have been together, she still has some serious issues.

Intimacy has been a big problem: she does not let me near her physically or emotionally. She is affectionate with her friends, but not with me. She was for most of the first year, but then started pushing me away more and more.

She sabotages our relationship by repeating the same offences over and over again, even though we have been over them a million times. When I ask her why she does these things over and over again, she says she does not know.

She says she does not feel like she is worthy of being loved, and does not love herself.

I've told her no matter what she does I will always love her, but inside, I worry how much more I can take of her projecting her self loathing on me. Things seem to have been getting worse, not better, despite my best efforts.

How can I be supportive of her and protect myself at the same time? What do I do?

is she getting therapy? therapy would really help the situation. she needs to learn to love herself, or atleast accept herself, before she can be loved or truelly love. good luck.

Hey, Im sorry I dont have much advice but it sounds like you are in the same position as my bf. I was a cutter before I met him but havent cut since shorty after we moved in together about 2.5 years ago, and I also suffer from anorexia, although I do starve sometimes I try not to... I know it hurts him, I know I shouldnt but I feel so .... I dont know the word .... I feel like I have to, or my world is going to end. I deal with the same intamcy issues as well, but I dont have any friends, and I am not close to anyone. I do see a therapist though, and have for 3 years, and it really helps.
I think your girlfriend needs to somehow realise how much she is hurting you. Because its easier to feel bad then use bad coping mechanisms instead of feeling bad and talking about it, and deal with the cause. If you want to talk Im here, I dont know how much I can help you, but I do have some insight into her condition I think, so let me know if you have any questions.
Take care.