college students

Hi, I am actually looking for some help and hopefully someone can explain to me why i am going through this. Let me start off by saying that i have been struggling with anorexia for about 5 years. However, last school year it got really bad. I was eating no more than 500 cals a day and excersing in the morning, noon, and night. I would go to the gym before classes, in between classes, then had track practice, and then to the gym again. I was required to recieve treatment over the summer in order fo rme to return back to school. With the help and treatment i did ok. I cam back to school this fall and then i went tinto a depression. This whole school year i have been going through cycles of eating and gaining a lot of weight and not going to the gym. to not eating and excersisng excessively and loosing weight. I dont knoiw why i have been going through these cycles, it scares me. I have been depressed lately for no reason. I find it so weird. If anyone has any info on why a recovered anorexic goes through these cycles please let me know, i have not been able to find any info on this. I know that i could just ask my doc. but i am also emebarassed to let her know that i tend to over eat at times.
thanx for reading this.

hi i am a college student also, been anorexic off and on since highschool but now it has been going on for about a yr. i exercise at least 3-5 hrs everyday and limited my calories to 500 and sometimes if my fianc'e makes me eat so the calories go to 900. at first i kept going back and forth and my weight kept changing up and down, now it just keeps going down. i dont feel it is easy to quit even though i want to because i like being able i wear a certain size and then when i wear that certain size i want to go smaller. the cycle blows.

hi dancebabe,
yes the cycle does blow, but i get so depresed whe i gain the weight. But during my binging cycle, i know that i am eating junkfood and toomuch of it, but i keep eating it and the i get depressed afterwards. I am now paying the consequence of trying to loose all this fat agin and i am currently heading into my old ways again. i understand how u feel like u want to quit, but in a way u dont. It feels so good when u loose the weight, but then it becomes an addiction. I have gone through that myslef. I hate going through these cycles and i dont understand why I am? For a long time i thought that I was fully recovered, but recently i am going back to my old ways. Now that I am headed into this cycle, i feel like i want to continue it, because it makes me feel so good about myslef. Another thing too is that when i went home for winter break, my mom was like wow u gained a lot of weight and even now when I go home they critisise me on what i eat, but then when i only eat a littl they still complain but saying that i am not eating enough. Its so hard.

I was first diagnosed with anorexia about 35..yes 35 years ago. I am now to a point where I control my eating. I never was bulimic....mostly I just starved myself. All of this could have been avoided if I had gone to seek help long ago.

I hope that you all will recognized what this diet can do to you. It can silently damage organs in the body....but sooner or later it will show up.

I urge everyone to get help if they can. Your life can be wonderful and your eating disorder under control or gone.

Wishing you all well,
Sweetngentle

hi sweetngentle,

Did you suffer from your ED for a long time before you were diagnosed? What made you fionally go and get help?

It felt good when i seeked helped, but if it wasn't for my best friend that i met in college who was right by my side and was willing to go with me when i felt ready, i dont know if i would have ever of gone. If i never had gone to the school health center, and seeked help, i might not have been alive today. In fact, i was loosing so much weight a year ago that my heart rate was getting low and it was almost too low that i was goint to have to be placed in the hospital. But luckily with the help i recieved here at school and the at home over the summer, i was able to get better.

But i was wondering, have u ever gone throuogh cycles of binging and then to not eating anything at all during your recovery? Because i have been experienceing that all school year. I dont know if its because of stress or what, but i am currently depressed with my self becuase of the weight that I have gained this school year and feel like i am going back into my old ways again. It's scary and i don't feel comfortable telling my counselor about my cycles because i feel embarrased to say that i over eat at times. I am headed home in a few weeks for the summer, and i dont know what i should do. But if you or anyone has any advice, that would be great.

summer

hi sweetngentle,

Did you suffer from your ED for a long time before you were diagnosed? What made you fionally go and get help?

It felt good when i seeked helped, but if it wasn't for my best friend that i met in college who was right by my side and was willing to go with me when i felt ready, i dont know if i would have ever of gone. If i never had gone to the school health center, and seeked help, i might not have been alive today. In fact, i was loosing so much weight a year ago that my heart rate was getting low and it was almost too low that i was goint to have to be placed in the hospital. But luckily with the help i recieved here at school and the at home over the summer, i was able to get better.

But i was wondering, have u ever gone throuogh cycles of binging and then to not eating anything at all during your recovery? Because i have been experienceing that all school year. I dont know if its because of stress or what, but i am currently depressed with my self becuase of the weight that I have gained this school year and feel like i am going back into my old ways again. It's scary and i don't feel comfortable telling my counselor about my cycles because i feel embarrased to say that i over eat at times. I am headed home in a few weeks for the summer, and i dont know what i should do. But if you or anyone has any advice, that would be great.

At age sixteen I was diagnosed with anorexia by our family doctor about one year after I dropped from 140 lbs to 95 lbs. I didn't go to counseling because my father forbid my mother to take me for help. Shortly after I was married and soon after that I gave birth to a baby boy. Both my husband and I were shocked that I got pregnant because my periods had stopped for a while.

I never could binge nor could I purge as people with bulimia do. But I did purge calories by trying to burn off everycalorie I ate. And I used laxatives to purge too. Early in my recovery I used to do mini binges...then I would try to burn it all off as well as almost taking in no food that next week. When one stops to think about it it doesn't sound like much of a recovery but that's how it was for me.

I also was onced hospitalized and fed through an IV to get some nourishment into me. My weight fell to 73 lbs and my heart rate was so low that my doctor didn't know if I would survive the weekend. I could feel myself going into and out of conscieness but clung to life. By this time I was about 30 yrs old. I survived but recovery was long and physically painful.

I know you mentioned being to see a counselor at your school health center ...but really I think it is your best option. An ED can be under eating and over eating. We sometimes require outside help to get ourselves centered. Know who you are and where you want to be.

I do hope this helps. Feel free to post anytime you want.

Take Care,
Sweetngentle

That must have been hard for you not to ba able to talk to anyone about your ED when you were that young. I am glad to hear that you were strong and were able to fight it. Even though it is/was hard it sounds like you gave it all that you had and you succeeded. I am so happy for you. Thank you for your advice about knowing who i am and where i want to be, i think that is the best advice that i have ever recieved. Honestly, I am still trying to fihgure out who i am, it is so hard right now, because of my ED that i honestly dont know who i am. But I never heard that before and that gave me a lot of encouragment!! Also, thanks for sharing your experience, it gave me and hopefully others that read it hope and encouragement to be stong and to not let it take over us.

Life is worth living!!!
Summer

Ok, so i am going home this week for the summer. Since i have mantained, well actually gained a lot of weight back this school year, I dont have to recieve any treatment like i did last summer. I am happy, but I am really afraid that my ED is going to come back again. I have been going through cycles of eating and not eating this school year, that i am afraid since i will be working, taking a summer class, and joining a running club which has a lot of practices in addition to going to the gym in my free time (before work and summer class) that i will slip back into my old ways. What should I do? PLease let me know if u will be around this summer, because i know that i will need some kind of support and someone to talk to who understands.
Thanks,
Summer