Becoming a (Fathers son)

So i been looking around on forums and i think i found some tips to help my anger, I appreciate the help ppl have posted on here thanks

Everyone has there own story i realize that, Most of us have it easier then others.


So I have 2 kids, 3 yr old and 4 yr old. I was raised by my grampa cause my mom/dad was drunks didnt want me when i couldn't take care of my self.

So my grama passed away when i was lil, guess my grampa felt hate when i was younger but i was raised harshly. Just started to effect me now since im a father i guess. My grmapa was basically my father figure and now i see it happening to me being harsh with my kids. Getting angered at them for lil stuff. Might just be a parent thing.

Also am addicted to vikedin, Use to have a perscription 3 years ago not no more but I still buy em when i have extra $$ i dont let my kids do without but here lately realizing any money i spent on vikeden is having my kids do without... Since i dont have a job anymore.

I've always did a crap job at keeping jobs ever since i was 17 now I'm 24.

I've been with my gf for 8 years now just thinking maybe she's getting tired of it and she has every right to be, She use to be big on drugs but she got off of em and she did it all on her own.

I can't talk to nobody, don't have many friends, i just have an addicted personality kinda rediculious to think of it that way but I know.

2 years ago.... i attempted to get off vicodin but I started drinking... I drank everyday for about 6 months.... Whiskey to stay buzzed shots here and there.... then one night got depressed drank a bit too much passed out in a bathtub.. I turned shower on and clogged the drain and layed down trying to sober up but kept thinking to myself ill get up when the water hits my nose.... But next thing i remembered i woke up in my bed... My girlfriend realized something was wrong and took a knife and opened the bathroom door lock got me out.. So i owe her my life.

But here lately guess i been taking everything for granted.


Said i was gonna get off vicodens and straighten my life up severla times now but always by the time withdraws kick in i give up.


Got so much angered by everything.... Last job i had i actually tried to keep loved the job and tried my hardest... I just got a promotion... was gonna start it on monday (2 months ago) But over the weekend i got sick... kept passing out uncontrollably slept for like 10 got woke up... smoked a cig and passed back out. monday came and still sleeping uncontrollably.. Called into work (First day of calling in) Worked there 3 months talked to human resources and she yea it was ok as long as i brought in a doctors note if i was late... Well i was at the ER for 6 hours they thought i had meninjitus or w/e its called... Called into work (9pm) Human resources was gone but my super told me just bring in a note... when i got out of the ER was 2am... after my work scedule doc note said not to come back till monday (It was saterday morning and i had the weekend off) So i took in my note later saterday said it was ok.. Monday came around i went to work started training for half an hour then got fired cause i didnt come in saterday... I worked through a temp service so nothing i can do oh well..


Havne't been able to find work since then, My gf's a stay at home mom. She wants to get out and get a job just where we live it sucks to find work...



My gf's dad lives with us upstairs he drinks everyday also rarely around our kids but he's good to em.. and us helps us out when he can.

My grampa lives with us helps with the bills too but he's controlling and rude alot but w/e.

So my gf's mom/stepdad brother and austistic daughter became homeless... her mom/daughter came over to our house and that was just soooooooo horrid..

I know they were down on there luck but there really ungratefull would take away our kids toys to give to her daughter and blamed it on autism im like yea but she still needs to learn wrong from right and a lil displine cause hwen u tell her no she throws a major fit oh well her parenting not mine.

But finally they moved out but still to this day were cooking extra food to take over ot there house (Which my gf and me helped clean up alot)

Her lil brother is so damn mean and rude its not funny.. i snapped on him several times he's 14 but i asked him to ehlp me take garbage bags downstairs to trash while cleaning up there new house they rented... and he yelled at me he was gonna do anything i yelled back and told him were over there helping him and his family the least he could do is friggen help.

But it's came ddown to me selling xbox games my son dont play anymore and random $#%^ of mine to make it... buy my gf ciggerrettes put gas in the car and crap and yet her mom will bum smokes off her since they have to roll there and i roll mine >.> But because she has real smokes knowing we dont have a job... Bumming food/soda's i know its rough but its gotton to the point there taking advantage of us i know there her parents but oh well i understand ya know?

I turned on my pc today read some stuff about my gf tlaking to her friend and guess $#%^ is a bit worst then i thought so thought time to straighten my $#%^ up be stupid to ruin 8 yrs of us cause i suck.


Idk thought typing my problems on a forum would help a bit
I don't need advice i know i need help on my addiction/angry hopefully today will be the day i quit vikes....

we all hav eproblems in life.... your never alone in your problems... I know that just sucks when u dont have nobody to talk to about it..yea i got a gf and she has quit her drugs but what sucks is i can't just do it that way. i've tried and failed horribly everytime this time diffierent? Im hoping...