I call it hulk syndrome

Where do I start basically I get the worst mood swings for no real reason,and if i don't get my own way that's it I loose it my poor ex she had to put up with so much.im only 28 and have the most beautiful daughter and had the most amazing girlfriend/fiancé you could possibly imagine yet destroyed everything with my uncontrolable temper.I went from job to job half of which ruined because I couldn't control myself and all the time fighting random people ,road rage,all sorts of trouble caused from this thing inside methe final straw for my poor girlfriend was last week when because she wouldn't take me to pick up a parcel that we missed delivery of I smashed the bathroom I was building her up with a hammer in what I can only say was hulk like rage I can't even remember doing it I just lost it this thing is now ruining my life and need help alcohol makes it ten times worse which I have ignored, my poor family have put up with so much I can't ant won't loose my daughter over something I can control I just need help .

Hi,

I googled "hulk syndrome" because this is what I like to have, and I found your message. I don't smash anything, I learned to control and reduce the reactions, but cant' control the ignition. For me, I think, it goes back when I was at home with my parents it has been always like that, my grandfather and father used to make a big deal about everything, shouting and making big noise, and thus that's the example I have had.

Like you I get somehow pissed off when I don't get what I wish, and thus the ignition. I also found out that the bad reaction is mostly because I can't find the WORDS to express why that specific thing is important for me to have in that moment, and how frustrated I am. So I think it is really anger aganist the fact that I can't express myself.

All of this findings though do not give any relief to the people that are close to me. I manage to be calm most of the time during the day. Sometime I need to isolate myself and cool down when I am in a bad mood, or to avoid to be engaged in conversations of some sensitive subject that can ignite a bad reaction.

Unfortunately this last thing is not appreciated by my partner who feels responsible for any bad times that I have and tries to investigate with many questions which I find annoying because I am not able to explain.

Now I think is time that I look more deeply into this, I don't do alcohol or anything similar, but my bad temper prevents me for a peaceful relationship, to the point that I don't wish to have one anymore.

Could you have any help on your condition?

i'm like you with the temper...Hulk smash...but after learning smashing isn't good (several computer and laptops, and a playstation) I turned it inwards, or on inanimate objects. I usually fire off over small things, my brother being a motherf***er and purposefully annoying me, people in general picking on me over my disabilities...I have attacked people in rage before and have probably been tugging the boundary of requiring police involvement...all in all it is one hell of a rage, then I'm usually a sourpuss afterwards, until i go back to my indifferent state.

HA! I HAVE THE HULK SYNDROME TOO!!!!!!

I have a terrible memory and can't remember if I'm the one who said i am like the hulk or if it was my boyfriend. ...nah... it must have been me. When I saw The Avengers i was like "omg the hulk is ME!" i kind of said it in almost a proud way which is disgusting to be honest.

Like someone else on here who commented on this post, before my parents divorced, i witnessed how my dad reacted to things and he had A LOT of temper tantrums. Mind you, my dad is 6'5 and used to be a professional football player. He has taken a glass bowl and smashed it over his head (needed staples) he used to punch holes in doors, break/smash many things, bang his head against the wall and of course, screaming like CRAZY! he left the house when I was about 7. I still saw him all the time after and still do but that was so impactful to my brother and I that when he left the house, we both picked up his behavior almost immediately.

I throw things, i punch things, i break things (last year, it was a perfectly good cell phone and my lap top thank God that was ready to sh*t the bed soon anyways). I scream and swear and I just get REAL UGLY.

Two emotions that are the most powerful for me: Anger and Love. Love I'm just obsessed with --feels so great!!! My poor boyfriend has to experience it and I never hurt him physically but my words are like VERY SHARP knives that cut deep into him and have probably left him with some emotional scars. Even though I'm female, i still can get pretty scary. My Anger is a different story. I feel POWER, i feel in control. I feel invincible. Its scary.

It needs to go away.

Jona, I love how you worded it, "I have learned to control the reaction but not the ignition." I really feel that statement quantifies my situation and probably many others who manage to lead a semi functional life with our type of disorder.

My advice you noreally-imfine is to try and learn to pick your battles. I too have an extreme temper and I learned that tempering my response is how to lead a semi functional life, but learning to pick my battles, or to control the ignition, is the difference between functional and successful.

Hulk is my favourite superhero ("anti-hero" more likely) because I can relate so well to him (thus my nickname). I explode very rarely, mostly because I got so repressed about showing my emotions through my upbringing, and I can control it very well, even though I know containing unexpressed frustration is not healthy at all. It results in millions of nervous ticks all over my body and I wish very much that someone in my country would be doing the destructive therapy, it would help me very much; I'm thinking of signing up for boxing.
To all the Hulks out there: of course it's not fun (for you, for others, for furniture) to regularly explode, but trying to keep everything inside is also not good because you will explode sooner or later. My point being: I have no idea what to do. :s

Well I have a few perspectives on what you have described.

Firstly if you drunk or drinking alcohol then it is not surprising you get out of control, and if that is the case you won't improve until you get help and stop drinking. But I will talk now with the assumption that you are not generally intoxicated when your anger strikes.

You are capable of controlling yourself, and taking responsibility for your own action, but you have to accept when you are wrong, and why your behavior is not appropriate.

It sounds like you have a sense of entitlement, and need to control things, and when you are frustrated you feel entitled to take out your anger on others or feel entitled to rage in front of others and smash things.

If you rage and smash things in front of people such as your girlfriend, are you trying to intimidate them?

Ultimately if you go to far with your behavior, you will not only suffer loss of jobs and relationships, but may very well end up in prison if you harm anyone else or even if you do serious property damage.

However you have not provided much detailed information, and I am wondering things like, did you used to threaten your partner? Do you threaten others when angry?

Do you think your some kind of "touch guy"? Do you view yourself as somebody "not to be messed with"? I am just trying to understand more.

Dear Munch84,


Have you ever heard the term, violence begets violence? The same can be said with anger. On another forum I posted on, I told the story of a Stanford University study that involved the more angry someone got, the more violent and uncontrollable it became. The only way to combat your anger, is to make a conscious effort to control it by taking a few minutes to calm down. You have to make yourself better than your anger and ask yourself, "Am I in control of my life or is my anger?"
You are also a father, which makes you responsible not only for your own life but your daughter's as well. She needs you in her life, she needs you to be there for her and give her the love she needs. Trust me, I grew up without a father and there were so many times in my life that I wished he was there to care and love me. I wished he could have showed me what it was to be a man, to play catch with me, to see me graduate from college. Unfortunately, he chose drugs over me, and now I will never get to meet him.
As someone who grew up without a father, I am pleading to you to be in her life. If this isn't for you, do it for her. I wished I could have had my dad in my life, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. She needs you.