How do I deal with anger when no one knows I'm angry?

I guess I'd describe myself as a schizoid type personality, but I've never been to a psychiatrist, so who knows. I'm 17, but please don't write my problems off as "teenage hormones" (even if they are, how exactly does that help me now?) I almost physically can't show emotions, which certainly hasn't helped me socially. Anyway, I'm just REALLY angry a lot of the time. I have one friend who I can talk to about this, mostly because I don't see her as a threat in any way, and I know she isn't going to stop being my friend no matter what I say. I've made her cry at least once because when I'm around her I can't keep my emotions in check. The big problem I have, even with her, is that even when I do open up to someone, I make it sound like a joke so they don't take me seriously. I'll spill my guts about something, and then they'll laugh and I'll feel even worse then I did.
Apparently I also have issues with authority (according to my confirmation teacher when I refused to accept Jesus). Makes sense, I guess. It takes a lot to make me dislike someone, but the second I decide I do, it turns into a burning hatred that never goes away. Far as I can tell this only happens with people who try to control me (authority) or people who try to get close to me. My English teacher says I have "social problems" because I don't really talk to anyone outside of my immediate group of friends. Even with my friends I'll never hand out outside school, or for more then 15 minutes at a time in school. But thats more a social problem, and this is about my anger. Whenever I decide someone's getting to close to me (even though I know it's happening, and it's stupid, I can't stop it) I get weirdly passive aggressive. I'll deliberately make jokes about things that I know are sore spots for them (I called my friend Shannon my "rich friend" for a year before she moved away. I honestly think it was my fault. I was really her only friend so she spent all her time with me, and I couldn't handle it). Or I'll just be mean in ways that no one can really blame me for. You know, typical passive aggressive stuff. I always feel bad about it, but I can't stop it.
When I do get angry enough that bottling it up isn't enough, only one thing really works. I hit things. Which honestly is the worst thing ever because now my hand constantly cramps up. I've tried to tell people about this, but whenever I do the conversation goes something like this: "Ugh, I hurt my hand" "What'd you do?" " I got angry and hit a wall. I need to find a freaking healthy way to deal with my anger" "awkward laugh". As you may have noticed, I can't even swear. People look at me funny, and then they start to realize there's ACTUALLY something wrong. Can't have that. So I just hit walls and break things some more. I think part of my problem is my dad. He's the only person I've ever had a legitimate fight with, but they always end with him shutting me down, no matter what the topic. Even when we're having an average conversation, I'm not allowed to have an opinion. I'll bring up a topic I think is fairly safe (for example: Obama, as my whole family loves him) and he'll spend half an hour telling me exactly why I am completely wrong, no matter what my opinion was. He also never acknowledges that I might ever have some kind of problem. If anyone (teacher, whatever) brings it up to him, he just says that he's raised two other kids just fine, how different can I be.
I don't know what my point to all this is. Maybe I just wanted to vent. Anyway, thoughts? How do you deal with your anger?

People can't really tell when I'm angry either. I bottle all the negative feelings up, and they just burst out at random times, and I'd have no control over it.
I find that it helps to write all my negative feelings down on paper (like in a journal), or if I feel like trusting a certain friend, I'd tell them. Doesn't always work, but I can definately feel a difference. I also tend to replay the scene where I felt angry inside and just imagine how I'd like things to go if I was able to express my emotions better.
Those are the healthier ways I deal with my anger, but most of the time, I either bottle up everything or do something else that doesn't turn out too well.
Now that I'm re-reading your post again, some of the things you've described are things that have happened to me! Whenever I talk about my problems to a friend, I try REALLY hard to make it sound light-hearted or a joke, and no one ever takes me seriously, even when I'm talking about punching myself in the face (which works for me, even though it's not a healthy way to take out anger).
I also get what you mean by the "teenage hormones". I'm sure that how my mind works sometimes isn't normal, but I don't know to what extent, so I don't want to make people thinking I'm just another melodramatic teen going through puberty.
Never been to a psychiatrist either. My parents constantly lecture me at how I'm not normal and they're pretty embarrassed about it too, so I'd doubt they let me see one anyway.