Rant. Need Help.

Rage, rage, rage, rage. Every word that comes out of her mouth makes my blood boil.

She doesn't realize it takes my all to not snap right back.

I'm not an inherently nice person. It takes me all I can do to keep myself from destroying things, or attacking. I force myself to stay polite! I FORCE myself to not retaliate. She doesn't understand that all I want to do is dish it out just as well as she serves it.

I realize I'm not thin.

I realize I'm not pretty.

Doesn't mean you get to call me ugly to my face.

Doesn't mean you get to call me a "F*cking Stupid Fat@$$ B@$t@rd".

I'm the only one in this family who's ever gone to college, oh dear mother of mine. I'm the only one whom ever put their mind to their career and pursued their dreams.

Hell, I got on the Dean's List. What's that say about Smarts? HUH?

I do my best to keep myself from raging.

Still silent. Still have yet to lash out. Breath in. Out. In. Out. Not working.

Still angry. Ragging me all damn day.

By the way, you're bigger around the middle than I am. Hypocrite.

...People who feel the need to take 'swipes' at other (like those who have persecuted you) have internal issues themselves that I won't go into. However, for you to take revenge would be almost as bad as what they have done to you.

Let me explain further: For whatever reason, they have arrived at the point in their lives where they feel that insulting others is acceptable, so that's what they do. You, now - it seems - have also arrived at that point, but from a different path. So, who's actually right? I argue that retaliating is wrong too. THe best thing to do is to get on with your own life and not to let them interfere with yours.

Sorry, perhapsmy message isn't the type of reply that you expected, but please try to see my persective. Trust me - I have been where you are.

Kevin

It sounds like your sister has major issues... She gets a major rush out of demeaning you. My
sense is that she's jealous of you!!! Putting you down gives her some sick power over you because when her words affect you, then she wins. I don't believe you have to be a doormat and endure
her unacceptable behavior. Set the boundaries from this day forward: I will no longer allow you to steal my joy and my peace with the anger you lash out at me. If you cannot speak with kindness and mutual respect, go take a time out in your room until the rage subsides. This cannot and will not persist for us to live together. Encouraging her to see a psychiatrist and seek help for her anger management will help her immensely if she really wants to change. Good luck to you!