please help me to deal with this

My wife suffers from uncommon fits of rage. Oftentimes turning to violence. I can only explain it by saying when she gets angry there is no filter in her head and all rational thinking is out the window. She says things like Die mother #####& or balls her fist up and hits and breaks and smashes things. This is usually triggered by something little that really shouldn't matter. Like dishes being in the wrong place or dirt on the carpet. Often I find her blaming me for her being unhappy or mad that day. I'm no saint sometimes I lash back in anger with my words saying things I shouldn't. I have never hit her back "she's really too little to hurt me much with her punches they just anger me." Often these fits of rage are followed by remorse the next day and back to rational thinking. I love her and when things are good things are really good and when things are bad they are extremely bad. Can anyone give me any advice on what I can do to better deal with the situation and maybe what I can do to help my wife? Thanks

Hi, DC1982! Even if she doesn't hurt you much physically, she still has no right to hit you and this is obviously upsetting for you. She needs help from a therapist or doctor who can figure out what is behind all this anger and frustration and why she takes it out on you. You could ask your regular doctor where your wife might be able to find this kind of help and go from there. Tell her that if she doesn't get treatment, you won't put up with things any more. She might get upset but she might also decide to try and get better.

I think your wife needs a serious wake up call. This is Not Ok. It is not healthy and technically it is abuse to you. Anger is a normal emotion but we all need to learn to manage our feelings in a reasonable way. When she acts like this I say walk away. Tell her that when she calms down you are willing to talk. Hitting is NEVER ok-No matter what their size. Not even kindergärtners get away with that!
Verbal and Physical abuse break relationships. They break families. Your wife sounds like she needs some serious time to figure out what is really behind all this rage. And it is not you. You are not to blame for a person acting like this. She needs help. Professional help.
Violent people get worse and you do not deserve to live like this.
I wish you the very best,
One