I feel like a ticking bomb

I don't know if I'm using this right. I've never used a forum before.

I'm really struggling to control myself. I feel like I'm constantly on edge and ready to blow my top. I have agruments with my partner like any couple but I've found myself having to control my thoughts when we are arguing. I feel like I'm going to lose control and hurt her.

She doesn't know this. She just sees us argue then I walk out during but it because I have to. I worry if I can't get away from it one day I will snap. This isnt just limited to my parnter it can be with anyone.

My other problem is I have suicidal thoughts alot. I have a good life and don't generally feel depressed or down but sometimes I have to really watch what I'm thinking. Some times my brain says jump in front of that truck, or just step of the bridge.

I feel like I'm 3 people . 1 Angry aggressive person, 1 sucidial person and 1 normal rational person who it's trying to keep the other two in control. Rational me is getting tired constantly talking myself out of things

Feel a bit better for getting that off my chest now

Hi, Dub86! It sounds like this is pretty dangerous. You have to tell a doctor. Ask your regular doctor where you can find a specialist to help you. I know help is what you came here for, but maybe you need medication, therapy, stuff like that.
Were you always angry like this? When did the suicidal thoughts start?

I feel totally daft now reading back on that cause I'm fine just now... That makes it so hard to talk about. I van only talk about it when it's sneaked out and became a problem.. If u no what I mean.

I'm going to see someone, Im glad the forum was here just to let it all out when I needed.


Thanks

It's not daft, this stuff can come and go. I bet a lot of people have problems that seem almost silly if they think about them when they're feeling more calm, but they're still important. I used to get really depressed for a while and then I'd have a few weeks when I didn't even remember what depression felt like. Try to talk to someone when you're having those thoughts/urges too, so they can see how strong they are, don't let the psych think that everything is ok only because nothing is going on right now.

Hey my friend, try to share your problems with your loved ones, don't feel sad and always think that there is someone who actually cares for you. Try to consult your mother because she is the only person whoa actually know you...