I blackout when angry and i can't control it

tophgrl14,
I am bipolar and have these sort of rages too. I also feel like there is someone inside of me waiting to break free from his pinned up lifestyle. I assign him a personality, I don't have DID, but its just easier to relate to it this way. I have been know to call him "The Beast" or "The Demon." I have been this way since I was 13 years old (now 36). As an adult,I only "blackout" moments when i'm extremely stressed or very pissed and then all HELL breaks loose (i.e. i want to kill people, literally). I'm able to control the "blackout" spells but not the rage and the thoughts of harming others. My therapist is even scared to talk to me about this part of my life, sort of weird since he is "Abnormal Pshychologits."

There is some hope though, my meds help control the swinging effect. It doesn't help for the anger built up inside, but it will keep you calmer to where you can at least think before you act (most of the time).

Keep sharing.

Nice comment Wilsn!
You hang in there too!
One

wow this was kinda funny to me of course not much but when it comes down to it i believe she a has a peace type anger i used to have blackouts because of how much anger came out at once. btw how old r u toghgirl the reason y i ask is because i was able to control of it after 12 but not completely it toke me until i was 15 to take completely control of it but sometimes u need to vent some of that anger out in small control burst. the reason y i said peace type anger is because u love peace on a different lv then most ppl .
sorry 4 saying this stuff was kinda funny ppl i have a weird type of personalty.

neokriss wrote:wow this was kinda funny to me of course not much but when it comes down to it i believe she a has a peace type anger i used to have blackouts because of how much anger came out at once. btw how old r u toghgirl the reason y i ask is because i was able to control of it after 12 but not completely it toke me until i was 15 to take completely control of it but sometimes u need to vent some of that anger out in small control burst. the reason y i said peace type anger is because u love peace on a different lv then most ppl .
sorry 4 saying this stuff was kinda funny ppl i have a weird type of personalty.

Hello neokriss,
I'm 14
I still don't understand ur explanation on how I have a peace type of anger.
Its ok that u said it was kinda funny. Lol I have a weird personality too so I'm ok with it

well peace type anger is something that comes from my religion or ppl who have a personalty like us but the personalty we have in common name is True Neutral its very hard to explain it unless u r part of the the religion i am in. ok i think i have another question what two colors do u like the most Red, Blue, Brown, Silver, Black, or White

neokriss, this is a thread to support those with anger issues. It is not meant for you to pick this girls brain in order to convert her. Toph is a young girl here and under my protection as a moderator.This is not a social "get to know new people" type of forum. This is a support forum for people with Psychiatric issues.
You are a new member here, so I suggest that you open your own thread about you own issues now.
One

hello 1
i wasint trying to convert her or anything like that when i ask her wat 2 colors she likes the most -it was an easer way to say element
she likes the most- red=fire, blue=water, silver=air, brown=earth, black=dark, and white=light.

Perhaps you could explain how that has to do with anger control issues then. If you want to explain what each element means in your opinion and how thats related to anger or other emotions, it may make an interesting thread.
One

well it toke me until 15 to have complete control of my anger and how i did take control of my anger is basically do with the 6 elements my 2 is fire and water which cancel each other which creates the personalty true neutral and its the same with earth and air, and dark and light. i dont know if this explains it or not but thats the best i can do

neokriss wrote:well it toke me until 15 to have complete control of my anger and how i did take control of my anger is basically do with the 6 elements my 2 is fire and water which cancel each other which creates the personalty true neutral and its the same with earth and air, and dark and light. i dont know if this explains it or not but thats the best i can do

Ok I like black and red
So how is fire and dark going to cancel each other out:?: