Description of typical man with anger management issues?

Hi all,

I believe my husband might have some anger management issues, but I'm not finding any 'criteria' to compare to his behavior. He seems to yell alot, at me and the kids. And for some reason, whenever one particular girlfriend is at my house, he reacts with RAGE to just about anything I say. Just last nite, he blew up at me in front of her. I just made a silly joke, and he lost it on me. My friend was sad for me and asked if she should leave. He usually is socialable around my other friends, but this will be the third or fourth time he's blown up at me while she's been there.

Almost any topic I bring up for discussion either turns into a screaming ragefest or he rolls his eyes or ignores me. I try to bring things up in a non-confrontational way, because I realize the topic might be touchy (i.e., finances/his spending; how to handle a touchy sitch with his sister, other things). Just about everything turns him into a snarling, defensive jerk, so I barely speak to him anymore.

after one of his rages, he picks up and acts like nothing happened. Like I'm the one with a problem.

Is this a typical anger management issue or something different? I sometimes feel like I'm being verbally abused.

Any advise is also welcome.

HI tranquery,

I think, your husband need to see a professional. May be he had some misunderstanding with you. he behaves with you in very strange manner. Really. It is not verbal abuse, i am saying this after reading your post. can you tell me something more about his personality? May be it is his personality change. May be he wants something else. Do you talk to him during days or free time?(when he is not in anger) How he behaves?

Hey Ravine,

thanks for responding!

you are correct, this latest thing is a crazy misunderstanding -- he keeps insisting that I insulted him and my friend and I had made him the butt of our jokes! It's a long, idiotic story, do ya wanna hear it? Friend and I are making salad in my kitchen (hub knew friend was coming over; he wasn't going to be home anyway). Hub and kids walk in. They'd gone to the Henry Ford Museum (which I think has cars, planes, trains, all kinds of vehicles, and apparently it is huge). As soon as he walks in, we stop talking about whatever we were talking about (her sick mother in law) and listen to his stories -- the museum is bigger than we'd imagine, there's a locomotive & airplanes in there, etc. He is showing us the different areas on a map. He gets to the part on the map called "Stars' Cars and Guitars" and he reads it, and then says "this is where the star's cars and guitars are" and I say something like "Just like the title of the room!" . that's it. Pissed him right off. Said I insulted him and that I act like a "######6 idiot" around this particular friend.

His personality hasn't changed too much over the years. Of course, he didn't rage back when we were dating - - I wouldn't have married him. No, we dont talk. If I bring up something I'm upset about, he either rolls his eyes or yells at me. then, when he's done yelling, four minutes later, everything is cool like nothing happened. I don't get it.

HI tanquery again,

See, i am sure now, he must have personality problems or personal issues. He had anger problems. May be this all coming as all of a sudden. It looks like, you kept giving him chances in his life for change. But he couldn't understand you. You have kids, how is your husband's behavior with kids? Don't let them know about this weird behavior. Just keep away from this. It may affect on their mind.

im am exactly the same as your husband have been my whole life at 47 its getting worse i cant control it so i seeked help ,went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with adult ADHD , Bipolar, mood,anxiety,and peronality disorders but no depression,i always new i had a screw loose but not this bad, show your husband this reply because once you know what your dealing with it takes some of the pressure and guilt off your shoulder, im not being angry just because i can i has an illness and now im getting help and some meds im getting better all the time its just to hard for some people to admit they have got a problem in the first place never mind do something about it i know im one of them but life is so much better now; good luck ;

Tanquery wrote:Hi all,

I believe my husband might have some anger management issues, but I'm not finding any 'criteria' to compare to his behavior. He seems to yell alot, at me and the kids. And for some reason, whenever one particular girlfriend is at my house, he reacts with RAGE to just about anything I say. Just last nite, he blew up at me in front of her. I just made a silly joke, and he lost it on me. My friend was sad for me and asked if she should leave. He usually is socialable around my other friends, but this will be the third or fourth time he's blown up at me while she's been there.

Almost any topic I bring up for discussion either turns into a screaming ragefest or he rolls his eyes or ignores me. I try to bring things up in a non-confrontational way, because I realize the topic might be touchy (i.e., finances/his spending; how to handle a touchy sitch with his sister, other things). Just about everything turns him into a snarling, defensive jerk, so I barely speak to him anymore.

after one of his rages, he picks up and acts like nothing happened. Like I'm the one with a problem.

Is this a typical anger management issue or something different? I sometimes feel like I'm being verbally abused.

Any advise is also welcome.