How to manage anger

Dear Friend; It seems to me that anger results from a combination of sources: low self-worth, recurring patterns, disappointments, revenge, spiritual issues, depression, fears, sin and/or selfishness, inability to communicate assertively, too much stress and other emotional or relationship problems.

What Happens? Anger immediately rears it's ugly head within 1-3 seconds of a provoking incident. You need to learn how to prevent such an overpowering emotional response & how to respond in healthy ways to the triggering events. Some people hold their anger inside and then, blow-up later on at a small trigger.

Take the following steps: Write out and log recent times of anger. Explore what happened, what the issue was, how you felt and what resulted. Then think of some times in the past when you were able to control your anger... probably at work... how did you control it? What did you do or say? What did you tell yourself to calm down? Most people tend to be able to control their anger at times. thus proving that they can have control over it. Go to www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com for free articles, the blog, podcasts and the Anger Survey.
Here's a helpful podcast: Make Anger Work for You!

Learn to take time-outs immediately. You can walk away from situations/people who trigger your anger. Give yourself time to cool off: 10-20 min. Take a run, pray and think about what it is that you are really upset about.

Explore: What is the real issue and what are the feelings underlying your anger? What do you want to request from the person? How can you negotiate or compromise some conflict you are having?
Avoid lots of caffeine. Completely avoid alcohol and drugs, unless you are taking a prescription. Caffeine increases the metabolism, heart rate and blood pressure, and causes mood irritability. Alcohol and drugs may give a person a "high" or mellow feeling at first and will seem to relieve stress but the effects are temporary and soon after you will actually feel more irritable, and depressed and angry feelings will not only return but usually escalate.

What else is going on? You may be dealing with a lot of stress or loss. This needs to be explored and worked through possibly with the help of a counselor. Explore how you can decrease stress in your life.
Begin an exercise program so that you can work off some of the stress in your life physically.

Learning to communicate assertively is one of the most important tools for expressing your anger in a healthy way. Share more openly & lovingly your needs, requests and opinions with others. Start setting boundaries so that you are not taking on other people's responsibilities.

Depression can play a part in anger or vice versa. I would encourage you to go to counseling and see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis in case there is an underlying issue. You can contact www.aacc.net/ or www.nbcc.org for a referral to a counselor and psychiatrist in your area.

I think meditation is the best way to control anger, It worked on me after trying it, before i was a man with short temper and i always used to hurt others but now i got self control on me.

Thankyou for the article.

Great article. I meditate as well and find it is the best form of reducing anger..

People must try this if they are thinking to control their anger.

Thank you for the information I will use it in pratice.

medication has only gotten me so far with my ISSUES. It takes more than that. Like self control and maybe some shock treatment

I found that yoga makes me mellow for the day.

I've been told to breath... but if it is from adrenalin, breathing isn't going to do it. Neither is a bath or a long walk, or yelling, or punching a pillow...

...but then, I didn't know that I have schizoaffective disorder rather than bipolar disorder. With schizoaffective, I don't let go of things, instead I *brood,making it worse.. that's a huge part of schizoaffective disorder... so the drugs are the fist thing for mood control, and cognitive behavioural therapy to give me healthy alternatives

* if you brood,
(ie. chafe inwardly, consider, daydream, deliberate, despond, dream, dwell upon, eat one’s heart out, fret, gloom, grieve, lament, languish,, mope, mull over, muse, ponder, reflect, repine, ruminate, sigh, speculate, stew over, sulk, sweat out*, sweat over, think about, think upon, worry) ... you may have what I have, and it takes different drugs and different therapy. The anger comes from frustration trying to figure other people out. Without success.