Need advice bad!!

I am a single mother of two small children, 5 yrs and 8 mths. When my 5 year old won't listen to me, I yell at her because I feel so bombarded by everything all at once, and I just start screaming.

I cannot seem to control it and I regret it almost immediately after, but it seems it's the only way to get through to her. Personality disorders run in my fam., what could this be? What should I do?

Please help!

Dear JaimeParker,
Raising two small children is a daunting task! I would suggest you look into parenting classes for ways to cope with the 5 year old. Just because we are biologically capable of producing offspring doesn't automatically mean we are also going to be supplied with an internal Operator's Manual.
Being a single parent just makes everything so much harder, as you are well aware. Is there any extended family in your life who can spell you occasionally? When we are under severe pressure all the time it is hard to be patient, especially with a little child. The parenting classes are usually offered by the County Welfare, or Social Services. Not only does one learn how to manage the burden of being a full time parent, one also gets to meet other parents, and have the potential for a broader social circle.
As humans we were not designed to raise our offspring in isolation. It takes a village.

Dear Jaime,
You are dealing with a lot of stress as a mother of young children.
But, you don't want to teach and role-model that screaming is an appropriate way to handle stress and discipline your children. It doesn't work and won't get you what you want - cooperation.

Why not make a plan to deal with your child when she won't listen? Here are a few suggestions:
Stop what you are doing whenever she needs correction.
Instead of yelling, go over to her and tell her what she needs to do or stop doing. Remember, children do not have the control to immediately stop their behavior. You should expect to have to ask/tell her again.
When she doesn't obey you - take her by the hand, sit down with her and tell her again what you expect of her, i.e., "you can play with your toy as long as you are quiet." or "you can watch tv for another 10 minutes. Then, you need to wash up for dinner." or "you cannot play with your doll in the tub."

If she refuses to will not listen. Take the toy or activity away from her.
You can suggest another activity or let her have the toy later on as a reward.
I agree that parenting classes and books would be very helpful.
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Thank you for replying, however I don't think it's a parenting problem, because I do all of those things that you suggested. Parenting has come naturally for me and most days I do have patience. But I seem to snap on the slightest things, things that are trivial, and it's not only with my daughter, it happens at work occasionally.

Then, I would suggest you obtain an evaluation from a professional counselor because you may be dealing with some post-partum depression or other emotional/mood disorder.
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God bless!

I have anger problems. Your post has prompted me, I shall try to cover the subject on my new blog, written to help others. I suffer from a 'rush' where I am overwhelmed and boy can I lose it. Increased internal energy from acupuncture doesn't help either. I need routines and stability. I've a dog I've trained (alpha) that conforms to the asperger profile. And it worked. My wife is going thro the change which doesn't help either. Read my blog.