Releasing Anger

In as few words as possible, I've been on a 3-year therapy journey that's mostly included EMDR and cognitive behavior therapy, but if I'm being honest, I don't think I've literally EVER dealt head-on with ANGER. There is no way I don't have TONS of residual anger inside me from endless bullying at school, abuse from my father, and even as an edult the immense stress of raising an autistic daughter.

Keep in mind these questions are coming from essentially a rookie on the anger management journey:

The techniques like punching a heavy bag, throwing rocks (not AT anything, just throwing them), exercising, hitting tennis balls, hitting baseballs etc - do those help to PERMANENTLY release decades-pent-up anger inside oneself? I mean I'm sure if somebody did something that made me mad TODAY it would help, but would it help get stuff that out PERMANENTLY?

What about forgiving? Another journey I've taken very few steps on is forgiveness. Learning how to forgive my father (may he rest in peace) for being so abusive. Learning to forgive myself for the mistakes I've made. Can that help to release/resolve anger?

What about bad things that have happened that are nobody's fault, like someone getting a disease or your company going out of business etc? Those things I'm sure can cause anger, and they're not always anybody's fault, so there's nobody to "forgive" - how do you resolve THOSE things?

Hope the questions made sense.

Hi, MadeofMetal,

I think that all the activities you describe can release anger. As far as they make you feel better, I think they are good for you.
Anger toward a parent is complex. Some people advise you to forgive. I am afraid it can sometimes be an abusers trick. Forgive, forgive and so what. You are the victim. It needs to be recognised. Limits should be drawed between what is acceptable and not. This is what justice sometimes do. Without those boundaries between good and bad, how can you forgive?

About society and all bad things that happen to you, maybe what helps is accept that one is very small with low power on things. It's difficult to do, it's long way I think.

Personnally I tend to drive anger towards myself. It's unhealhy. I think anger can be a good feeling, it's active, it gives energy. Provided it's well oriented.
Be able to express anger can be a good thing. Helps take distance between you and what happened to you, helps take things outside of you. Even old things.


Just some thoughts.